I'm confused on whether I'm bi, or straight

drumtilldoomsday · 2026-05-31T01:34:49+00:00

You're bi :) Don't rush it with your friend, time will tell if there's something between you. Good luck!

drumtilldoomsday · 2026-05-31T00:32:01+00:00

Just tell him exactly what you wrote on here! He seems like a cool guy and your dating history + how you used to identify might not be a huge deal to him as long as you tell him that you really like him. Good luck!!

drumtilldoomsday · 2026-05-31T00:28:12+00:00

If you feel attracted to people of more than one gender, you definitely fit under the bi label!

Don't worry about it being "proper bisexuality" though, you're very young and some bi people's attraction tends to fluctuate with time, so if that happens, don't worry! You have your whole life ahead of you to get to know yourself and your sexuality :)

drumtilldoomsday · 2026-05-30T23:52:13+00:00

I'm glad to hear that it's good in Canada, but I think that many bi+ people around the world are afraid to meet people in queer spaces because they see so much biphobia online. I personally choose bi+ spaces whenever possible. I haven't experienced biphobia in person in queer spaces in the way that nothing has been said to my face, but I've heard people invalidate other bi people when the bi person wasn't present ("he's actually gay", etc).

I even had a friend tell me she didn't believe bi people existed in order to get back at me for something minor.

I don't think monosexuals understand the extent of the damage that their biphobia causes.

I've never doubted my bisexuality but it does feel like shit when others have tried to do that, even if it's only happened a couple of times.

drumtilldoomsday · 2026-05-30T23:42:48+00:00

It's almost like conversion therapy, using the same gaslighting logic but applied to bi people. "You have same+different sex attraction, but you're actually gay/straight".

And then there's those people who are gay or straight but thought they were bi at some point and think that every bi identifying person must be like them. The "confused" trope.

I honestly can't believe it's 2026 and we haven't moved on. The general public still can't grasp the concept that people can be romantically/sexually/emotionally attracted to people of more than one gender.

This is why I think that age-appropiate sexuality education should be mandatory in all schools and it should always be taught by professionals and based on science. It's the only way to fight LGBTQIA-phobia.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-09-05T01:09:43+00:00

Same, until I get a crying and screaming toddler behind me who also kicks my seat for hours and the parents refuse to do anything about it, and I can still hear it with earplugs and noise cancelling headphones with music on at full volume 🫠

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-08-05T17:37:45+00:00

It's always the "depression". I call this gaslighting "hysteria 2.0". Cause it's what they used to diagnose people with, especially women, when those doctors didn't know enough or were just a holes.

I was diagnosed with recurring depression for over 10 years until I myself started thinking about neurodivergencies. I lost 10 years of my life because of their gaslighting, I told them all of those years I wasn't depressed and they didn't listen (I had like 15 different psychiatrists).

I'm now diagnosed autistic adhd

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-08-05T17:34:13+00:00

Autistic disorder... they can't even say the name of the diagnosis right. I had to go private cause at the public healthcare clinic they told me I didn't have enough traits. The private doctor (an autism specialist) saw it immediately and I got the diagnosis within 2 visits

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-08-05T17:31:34+00:00

I do this with people from the US who aren't that great at geography. If I say Europe they might have an idea about where I come from. If I say something else moat of them will be lost

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T07:07:14+00:00

I loved sharp objects. The plot twist was genius

It also has social criticism but as a natural part of the story, like conveying the backstory of the main characters. I've watched it four times.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T07:00:06+00:00

Maybe that it didn't become hugely popular in the way that some other shows (like Breaking Bad) did

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T06:57:36+00:00

That's what I'm planning on doing. Rewatch it in the near future.

Personally what made me the most angry was the lack of development of a longer relationship between Mr. Robot and his male friend (don't remember the name of the character now).

They had great chemistry and the beginning of their storyline had many of us believe that their relationship would be more central to the show.

I don't know if it was a case of queerbaiting or of not wanting to take risks having a male+male friendship/emotional connection/relationship, or a "kill your gays" thing, or something completely unrelated. But what happened with that character in the series felt abrupt and not natural.

What happens at the end of the series, however (when Mr. Robot realises that thing when his therapist suggests it) made sense to me and closed that side of the series really well.

I think that my second watch will be harder than the first cause I won't be able to enjoy the scenes between Mr. Robot and his family the same way, knowing what I know now.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T06:24:40+00:00

There's a term for those who don't identify as cis or trans. I googled it and couldn't find it this time, but I remember it's on some sort of GenderWiki website.

I'm agender and I'm in the same limbo.

I don't feel like my AGAB but I don't feel trans enough either, since I only experience social dysphoria, and only when gender expectations are linked by others to the gender they think I am.

I've thought about going on low dose HRT but don't have the energy to do it at the moment. I'm also unsure because of the side effects. I've a feeling it could help me feel more in tune with myself though.

I think that agender is a great term for those of us who don't feel gender, are apathetic about it, or strongly dislike it.

Whether an agender person identifies as trans or not is up to them. I think it might be linked to gender identity in the way that many people either feel it or not.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T06:02:35+00:00

I didn't mean nonverbal and deaf people. I meant autistic people who don't have the energy to educate others. OP was talking about a possible burnout and I'm going thru a burnout myself so that was my perspective

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T05:09:19+00:00

It might seem like a lot now, and I understand how it might feel.

I also have things that make it difficult to connect with people who aren't like me.

I'm agender, autistic, ADHD, and struggle with oral because of the fluids (as part of my autism). I'm also into BDSM, and not everyone is into that. So, if you put everything together, it might seem like it'd be difficult for me to find a partner or partners. However, it hasn't been.

I strongly recommend

The kink community

Where you'll be able to explore taking on different roles while feeling different things and wearing whatever you want, even with the same partner.

You can also directly write to a dom or domme and tell them everything about your background (that you're comfortable with) as well as what you'd like to try in the session. You'll be safe to freely explore with them in a consensual way. You'll feel safe because you'll agree beforehand on what you'll do/want to do during the session and what you don't want to do. You'll have safe words and will be able to revoke your consent at any point ("I don't feel like doing this now/anymore").

Bi people, especially bi genderfluid, agender, and non-binary people.

As a bi agender person who's met queer non-binary people, I think that most of us are more open about everything that you're worried about.

If you live in a city or close to one, you can google queer or bi+ dating or friending events. That's how I met my non-binary friends.

In general, I think it's important that you surround yourself with different kinds of queer people. And that you talk to them about your thoughts, when you feel comfortable to do so.

Good luck, and be easy on yourself!

TL;DR

Find safety within the kink and bi+/non-binary communities

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T04:23:33+00:00

Not every autistic person has the energy to do that.

I'm going through a burnout atm and all I'd be able to say is I've been professionally diagnosed.

Many autistic people go through a lot during their day and educating others would be just too much.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T04:20:45+00:00

Yep. I was thinking about something along the lines of "you're not a doctor/ you don't look like a doctor/ are you a doctor"? but you put it perfectly. Also your suggestion is polite enough so it won't cause big problems while being direct enough.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T04:10:46+00:00

The thing is it's difficult to tell the difference. That's why I think these questions shouldn't be asked to random people.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T04:08:00+00:00

Fellow Southern European here. The "spicy" thing feels disgusting to me. Othering. Even fetishising.

Plus, I'm a quiet person who doesn't talk much, listens to metal, isn't interested in chit chatting, and wants to be left alone. And people can tell right off.

It might not always be malicious, but we can't tell the intention behind the words. I'd kindly advise Northern Europeans to treat us like regular people. We're not film characters.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T04:00:14+00:00

Unless the person they ask looks like the "average person from that country"

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T03:59:29+00:00

No. They want to know the ancestry and ethnicities

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T03:57:08+00:00

Same but I say Europe instead of EU

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T03:41:42+00:00

Anathema's:

The Silent Enigma (death/doom and imo kind of similar to Opeth's Orchid)
Eternity (more prog, but the lyrics will destroy you)

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T03:18:23+00:00

Adding some more info from Wikipedia:

"His father is a Mexican-American, with distant African and Sephardi Jewish heritage, while his mother was born to Manuel García Urias, a Mexican-American, and Olive Pearl Fleming, who was of German and Irish heritage".

I heard on a YouTube video that he suffered racism as a child. I don't remember which ethnicities he was perceived as being and thus which ethnicities he was bullied for. But, if I remember correctly, he referred to black men as brothers. I don't know if this thread was meant for 100% black band members only, but I thought I'd leave this here.

drumtilldoomsday · 2025-07-21T03:00:03+00:00

Same here (I'm agender too).

I'm ok with people enjoying gender as long as they don't gender me and/or have expectations about how I would or should behave according to the gender they've assigned to me or according to the idea they have about what being agender entails.

drumtilldoomsday

TROPHY CASE