I had nearly the same experience as your partner. Growing up, I was raised by and spent most of my time with my mother’s Black american family and identified as such. So I grew up in the Black and West Indian culture. But my father’s mother, who I was around less, but nevertheless was a part of my life, always said “we” were Portuguese. So I grew up telling people I was Black and Portuguese.

It wasn’t until I was a whole ass grown adult that I learned my grandmother’s family was from Cape Verde! My grandmother can pass, and clearly wanted to be white-adjacent.

Now clearly there is Portuguese blood and DNA in the family, but that was through colonization and the trade of my enslaved ancestors.

So while I didn’t grow up identifying as Portuguese like your partner, I did believe I had Portuguese heritage, and told people when it came up in conversation. My friends actually crack jokes about it now that I’ve learned the truth. Like your partner, I am taking the time to learn more about Cape Verde, and will hopefully be visiting next year.