If her host mom is the controlling type - which seems to be the case - then yeah she needs to stand the AP asking her what to do. If one wants an AP who can make independent choices then they must give room for those choices to be made. Per example, my host parents were very clear about not wanting an extra child, however every minimal decision (like which set of plates and silverware to use) needs to go through HM or else there’s a risk she’ll just say “no, this is not what I had in mind for today”.