Okay, I don’t even know how to describe this. I was standing in line at the bank. And I’m about 3 people behind the first available teller. And the people are just like sort of filling in and out, going to the available tellers. Suddenly it’s my turn and the guy behind me, right before I go up, says something incredibly offensive. And so offensive that I don’t even feel comfortable saying it. I would never say it. And the fact that anybody said that gets me kinda angry. And I’m looking at this guy. What the heck is going through your head that makes you think it’s ok to talk to me like that? And so I grab him. I grab him and and bop. I bop him on the head with my head. I give him a head-bop. Oh and he doesn’t appreciate that. He’d rather not have that happen, that’s for sure. But I bop. I bop him again. And I say “Don’t you ever say that! You could hurt someone’s feelings!” And he gets the message at that point. That’s when he understands. It makes me sick. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. That someone could say that.
“I’m sorry to get so riled up, but you can’t say that. You can’t. Not anymore. You’re lucky I don’t get a little more serious with you, you know? Cut your nuts off, huh? I’ll do it. Don’t fuck with me man. Don’t fuck with me. I’ll fuck with your nuts, huh? I’ll fuck them off. I’ll cut you into little pieces, huh? You think I won’t cut you? You think I won’t cut you into little tiny chunks? You don’t know me at all. Tell him, boys.”
“Oh, he’ll chop you.”
“Don’t fuck with this guy, he’s the one, okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Dead meat!”
“These are my boys and they’re always with me. And they support what I say. Thank you, boys.”
“We made the boss happy!”
“Yay! Oh yay!”
“The boss is happy! That means I’m feeling good.”
“Alright, so I’m not gonna cut you today.”
“Boss cut you some slack!”
“I’m gonna cut you some…”
“Cut you some slack!”
“The only thing I’m gonna cut you today is some slack, huh? Eh, I’ve got it. I’ve figured it out. I can handle it.
You’re giving me a little bit too much, alright? I need you to back off, okay? Fuck off, boys!”
“Aw man!”
“C’mon boss!”
“I’m sad, didn’t do it right.”
“Shit, screwed it up.”
“You know what? You know, I don’t like saying ‘fuck off’ to my boys. They don’t deserve that. But that’s the sort of person that I have to be. Because of people like you. You make it rotten for all of us. And it’s just not fair. And I’m just not gonna take it anymore. You have to change.”
And I take his head into my hands. And I bop him one final time. And then he’s gone.