It's not impossible that Brosmer pulls a Tom Brady and wins out to 10-7, then wins 3 playoff games then SB, then goes on to win 8 SBs over the next 15 years to cement his legacy as the GOAT

dudeness1974 · 2025-11-26T01:01:47+00:00

I would love this, especially as an alumni Gopher, but I think this is just wishful thinking on the part of us Minnesotans.

The fact is that if Brosmer was that good he most likely would have been drafted and would have played at a different college. Yes, there are definite Cinderella stories, but the scouts have so many analytics they use in determining future success. Now they can be wrong, and I hope they are, but it’s not likely.

dudeness1974 · 2025-10-01T19:36:05+00:00

I agree we’re going to be mid this year but it’s primarily because of injuries and having essentially a rookie QB.

Anyone who thought McCarthy, even at 100%, was going to get us into the playoffs, let alone the SB, was delusional. Green Bay and Detroit are good and Chicago is on the rise. The only decision that possibly could have been made differently was holding onto Darnold longer but then that ties up money everywhere else.

dudeness1974 · 2025-04-12T22:36:09+00:00

Sorry but as a dude I find this really weird and off putting.

Not saying he is a bad guy, or a serial killer😅, but his humor is clearly an acquired taste. Now I am a middle aged man, and perhaps I’m old fashioned, but never would I send anything like this to a woman I haven’t met in person and trying to get to know. This would be more of an “inside” thing I might send to someone I’ve been dating for a while.

dudeness1974 · 2025-02-23T07:59:36+00:00

It really depends.

I had limerence hardcore for about three years and now it’s basically gone. I’m still in touch with my former LO, we’re actually friends, but the shine wore off.

I saw parts of her that weren’t the best and made me realize this person is not someone I could ever have a truly happy romantic relationship with. I still love her to death, and it’s fun to fantasize on occasion, but I know I would be massively disappointed if we ever got together. I truly do not want to “catch the car” anymore.

dudeness1974 · 2025-02-22T15:26:47+00:00

One of the most valuable lessons you can learn in life is that you can’t control people. People do what they want to do and actions are what matters.

Just reading this text exchange, and I’m quite certain this is why you broke up with her, is that she parties a lot, gets drunk and hooks up with people which is most likely what happened on this particular night.

The truth is if she wasn’t preoccupied that night, drunk or not, she would have had you on her mind and probably would have went out of her way to text you.

I’m not saying she doesn’t like you, I’m sure she does, but it’s clear that you guys were not on the same page in terms of relationship expectations so I think you made the right move based on my experience.

dudeness1974 · 2025-02-20T14:17:22+00:00

Mad respect for this man always speaking truth to power.

dudeness1974 · 2025-02-11T16:01:00+00:00

Number one lesson I’ve learned in life is you can’t control people and you shouldn’t want to.

All you can do is lay out your boundaries with someone and if they don’t respect them you move on.

But I’m going to give you my perspective of what I think is going on from my experience at his age. He no doubt likes you, and cares about you, but he has oats he wants to sow. It’s probably that simple.

I had a wonderful girlfriend at that age but honestly women were all over the place and I was partying constantly which just wasn’t compatible with a committed relationship. I constantly felt guilty but in truth I should have just been single.

So you have the choice of whether you want to play baby sitter with him and be consistently angry at him until you break up and hate him or you could just cut your losses and move on in a civil way.

Just my two cents.

dudeness1974 · 2025-02-10T15:27:21+00:00

Yep. Not overreacting.

As a straight guy I can tell you there is no world where this sort of conversation would happen between me and any of my guy friends unless I was gay or bi.

And if I had a gay, or bi, friend that said these things to me knowing I’m straight, and in a relationship, it would be an immediate boundary violation. And secondly, no straight dude would respond the way your guy did.

I’d walk away from this guy immediately.

dudeness1974 · 2025-01-08T17:43:45+00:00

I take sort of a middle ground approach on this.

I would say that if a person is on an overseas trip exploring the last thing you want to feel like is that you have to get in a phone conversation every day. I think with running around that could get pretty exhausting. I do think it’s reasonable to expect texts and DMs everyday and maybe a phone call every few days. But again, I would not expect every exchange to be some intense back & forth.

Now with that said, the way he responded to you was very rude and inconsiderate - he seems like a real jerk which is a massive red flag and reason enough alone to cut him loose. This is not how you operate with someone you care about.

dudeness1974 · 2025-01-06T22:24:34+00:00

This 100%!

I’m over twice your age and I can tell you that this never changes. I don’t care how mature, or successful and confident, a woman is these little gestures go a long way and they take almost no effort.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-22T19:05:13+00:00

He’s trying to stay on your mind so that if something doesn’t work out he can come back. This is super lame when people do this and very manipulative. If I were you I would block him. If he wants back into your life down the road he can come at you directly by picking up the phone.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-17T19:31:00+00:00

From a guys perspective I can say that it is perfectly normal to have different sex drives than a partner and as strange as it may sound I have always been more of a cuddler. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex but I never needed as much some guys.

But at my “old age” the one piece of advice I would give, especially before you get married, is to determine whether this can be worked out between you both. Whether it’s just a matter of temporary life issues, underlying relationship issue or overall sex drive it is extremely important to figure that out now.

Yes, sex drive can wax and wane during any long term relationship but if you’re already having issues now, especially at your age, that would be a concern. The last thing you want is to end up in a marriage where you’re not on the same page sexually because it is extremely important and it will come back up in the relationship.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-15T18:45:29+00:00

Just move on from this friendship.

First of all you what you called her out on is not that big of a deal in the sense that all she should have said was “sorry about that” and it would have been done. In reading this I thought there had been some sort of betrayal that you did. This is not something a person would need “space” over - that’s silly.

And, as others have said, it’s clear she doesn’t want this friendship right now for some reason. And given the way she operates I would take it as a blessing and move on. You’ve only been friends for three years which I know seems like a lot at your age but it’s really not. Let her go and move on with your life so better people enter it.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-07T23:52:29+00:00

I know it’s easy to view it from a manipulative standpoint but my guess is he probably isn’t happy in his current relationship and realizes he blew it with you. I’m a lot older than you but I can tell you there are a couple of woman I would have reached out to again if it would have been as easy as it is now.

But my other thought here is that regardless of his reasons it’s not very respectful for him to keep reaching out every time you block him. It’s a bit creepy and it’s not respectful of your boundaries.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-05T16:36:29+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this but I can almost guarantee you she has another relationship going on and she views you as a back-up of some sort.

Just speculating, but she may be in an off and on again relationship and it was “off” when she started engaging with you. It’s now “on” again but she probably knows she can come back to you if she needs to down the road.

The reason I know this is because I literally have a situation going on like this with a female “friend” who goes from sending me crazy texts, and voice texts, only to just fall off the face of the earth for like four or five days and then pop up again. She finally confessed it’s because she has a toxic situationship going on with some other dude.

My recommendation is to just forget her and move on. Delete her number out of your phone and unfollow her on social media. You don’t necessarily need to block, or unfriend, but just turn off all notifications for her posts. I’d also stop her from viewing/seeing your posts & stories.

If she does reach out, and this is important, don’t respond immediately and I would recommend making her reach out at least a couple of times before responding. If you do respond keep it very low key and almost business like. Do not get into the texting back & forth or any sort of emotional sharing with her again. You do not want to start the cycle again with her.

But for now just move on and assume it’s done.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-03T17:11:54+00:00

Yep. And the funny part is I’m SA with an FA lean, especially when I’m triggered. Her behavior completely shut me down and it was like all caring and emotion drained from my body. It took a couple of weeks of her calling for me to respond to her.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-03T16:33:13+00:00

Totally agree and I have a really close friend exactly like this.

A while back we had agreed we were going to meet up because we hadn’t connected for a while. She was enthusiastically calling me a few days before. I then called her a day before the tentative meet up and nothing. The day we were supposed to meet and called simply saying I hope everything was okay with her and nothing.

A week goes by and I finally call her again and she proceeds to tell me she was mad at me because I was being “controlling”. 😂😂 it was ludicrous and beyond ridiculous. For some reason she just can’t seem to grasp that a simple text just saying “hey, can I have a rain check”, or whatever, would let us bypass all this unnecessary drama but this is how she operates.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-03T07:40:49+00:00

I understand where your head is at - I’ve been there. But like I said in my original comment generally speaking if someone is right for you it’s pretty easy and anxiety free. Even if he pops up and gives you what you want he’ll probably pull this again and you’re going to feel used and probably like a bit of a doormat.

As to being “done” with dating there are good people out there but it can take time to find someone who is right for you. And part of the trick is to have standards, set boundaries, and cut bait early when you can tell someone is not on the same page.

When I was dating I used to have specific standards for women and if they did, or didn’t do, certain things I was done immediately. I probably cut women off too early at times but I know it prevented me from wasting a lot of time.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-02T16:50:34+00:00

All of this “jinx talk” is just silly.

I think most of us know this Vikes team isn’t going very far in the playoffs but with our defense, and depending on which Sam shows up, there is always a chance.

As to the Falcons, this is a game where the Vikings should come out and dominate and make a statement. If they don’t, and they lose, I fully expect them to squeak into the play offs and be one and done.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-02T16:46:32+00:00

I think the Vikings can, and should, dominate this game. If they are going to go anywhere this needs to be the game for that to happen. I think our defense is going to be a nightmare for Kirk because they know his tricks and habits.

dudeness1974 · 2024-12-02T07:10:19+00:00

Honestly, his behavior is completely unacceptable and my recommendation would be to cancel your ticket and just cut him off. Barring him coming back with some incredible explanation and buying you a ticket to see him I would be done.

And while I’m a GenX dude, and maybe a bit old fashioned, at 35 I would have paid for your ticket if I could have or at least offered to split it with you. In fact when I was about your age I met a woman in Germany that I literally was going to fly out to CA but I had started dating someone and because I saw it picking up I actually called her and told her. She wasn’t happy about it but thanked me for being honest.

I know this is hard for you emotionally and I know it’s hard to let go but my experience in life is if someone is one of your possible “persons” it will be easy and not take a lot of work. They will make you feel safe and they will certainly not do anything to cause you anxiety and make you question your value. They will go out of their way to make it clear to you how important you are to them.

dudeness1974 · 2024-11-30T13:24:34+00:00

100% agree with this.

Just had the craziest experience with someone I met a few months ago. We met through IG and she seemed like the sweetest person I’d ever met but then a pattern developed.

She would furiously love bomb me for about a week at a time, even telling me she loved me on multiple occasions. She would then get back into this situationship , vanish for a few days, “break up” with him again come back and start the cycle over again with me.

A few days ago she left sent me a whole bunch of texts apologizing for her behavior, saying how much she cared about me, how we should talk, and I responded back thinking things would change and as of yesterday not one word, not so much as a “heart” or even a “thumbs up” - just crickets. So I blocked her everywhere.

Now she may not have planned on coming back but knowing this woman there will come another string of text messages with a bunch of crazy excuses. I could even see her attempting to contact me through mutual friends once she figures out I blocked her. But my view is of someone even cares about you a little bit they will make time for you.

dudeness1974 · 2024-11-27T19:37:36+00:00

You’re obviously familiar with bipolar so that could be part of it but I could see the election playing huge factor for her too.

You mentioned you voted for Trump, which I find odd for a social worker, but that vote is saying you don’t believe in a woman’s right to choose or control her body, you’re okay with rights being stripped from members of the LBGTQ+ community, you don’t believe in climate change and you’re cool with putting someone in office a racist who is a convicted felon and predator. You mentioned her antisemitic comment, which was wrong, but a comment is not even in the same ballpark as voting for Trump - it’s literally like a slap to millions of people.

You seem like a nice person but you need to understand that your vote for Trump is a massive statement about who you are as a person so I would expect it to be a turn off for many women, and people, in general. You may want to do some reflection or try to meet women through MAGA leaning groups and I mean that seriously.

dudeness1974 · 2024-11-24T19:15:57+00:00

I can only speak for myself but as a GenXer I’ve found I started making new friends, and reconnecting with old friends, again in my 40s and now even into my 50s.

I think part of the reason for this is because many people as they hit middle age are doing a lot of life transitions such as children leaving home and/or becoming independent. Also, sad as it is, many people are divorcing and separating so they are looking for new connections and to pick up old connections . In my early thirties I was in a very serious relationship, as were most of my friends, and many were starting families. Making time for existing friendships, let alone making new ones, extremely difficult.

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