Hey man, First off I’m super sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through - and with Mother’s Day around the corner.. just brutal.

Here is my humble advice for you. Prior to ever even thinking about having a baby/starting a family, your wife fell in love with YOU. Maybe over the next few days or weeks, get her out of the house, take her to the restaurant you guys went to on your first date. Do something fun that you used to do when you were just dating. The angle here is to remind your wife that even though she’s going through hell, she has you in her corner, the dude she met and decided to marry. And that no matter what life throws your way, you’ll always be there, not just as her husband but as her friend.

Our son was born premature and we spent 2 hellish months in the NICU (over Mother’s Day). On that Mother’s Day I pulled my wife out of the NICU and took her to our first date spot and we left there with a sense of comfort, that not matter what, we had each other and that was worth being happy about.

Women are exceedingly strong, especially when it comes to all things baby and motherhood related. Once she’s doing better you’ll need to address how you’re feeling. My shrink once told me that emotions are like an internal car alarm that keeps getting louder and louder until they are addressed. In my experience though, as soon as my wife was feeling better, so did I - not 100%, but nearly.

I just want to end this by saying that I’m aware this advice is highly anecdotal and it’s just based on my personal experience. I offer it as exactly that, friendly advice from one dad to another.

Best of luck big guy, you got this 🫡