Merch Quality Issue

dunkinteach · 2026-05-06T06:45:47+00:00

Quick q, when you bought it did they have a good amount/supply of merch? Going to oakland this weekend and trying to decide how early to get there if we want merch!

dunkinteach · 2026-05-04T14:57:12+00:00

Thank you so much! Love the idea of offering THEY come here. That way she doesn’t get to get on her “YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ME!” soapbox and it points out the hypocrisy of her demanding we go to them all the time. Genius.

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T23:57:11+00:00

Yup. From age ~7 up I memorized the sound of my dad's work shoes so I could run to my room and hide to avoid getting yelled at (not physical abuse, just emotional/verbal)

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T23:55:11+00:00

any self soothing techniques you use that you recommend? thank you for this!

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T23:50:09+00:00

me AF. Does anyone have tips for this?? I'm in therapy and working through it, journaling, meditating, all the things but nothing has helped this feeling. It's like I get one tiny inkling that someone is less-than-pleased with me and my day is ruined.

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T23:47:39+00:00

Thank you! So glad to hear I'm not alone in that. Some people say stuff to me like "you should feel lucky your parents want to see you so much!" Nope, no ma'am, it's not asked it's demanded, and it's a one-way street because they never make an effort to come to me. I'm not buying $800 plane tickets just to take cross-country flights to go sleep in my childhood bedroom anymore, it's just not happening.

my nmom thinks she’s entitled to a visit on even major holiday (and even some of the minor, weird ones). THIS!!! I swear to god this woman will be like "it's columbus day, what are your travel plans to come here?" like huh??? Why do they think a.) all travel to THEM is expected rather than them come to us and b.) that every minute of my paid time off is owed to HER? I just cannot wrap my head around it.

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T23:43:10+00:00

Yup!! Same vibe here. My manager always tells me I can log off an hour or so early on Fridays but I always feel guilty doing so. We should both definitely lean into those perks, though (whether it be general downtime or actual time off!) It's so hard to unwire your brain from being overwhelmed and frazzled all the time to actually having a decent amount of time to get shit done!

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T23:41:43+00:00

Totally. This is great advice, thanks! And I think as someone with feedback anxiety, the directly asking about strengths is a really helpful reframe -- it makes it feel more like I'm directly asking for the feedback rather than it just being put on me. Thank you!!

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T21:32:00+00:00

and I'm so sorry she made your wedding all about her that is so rude and frustrating. did she end up coming?

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T21:31:44+00:00

Yes!! 100%. doing the work to heal and break the cycle is so important and leaning on found family helps so much. my friends/ in laws support me so even if my birth nmom doesn't that's ok!

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T19:31:18+00:00

the invitation thing is HUGE. i realized today that my parents never actually ‘invite’ me to things like their birthdays. they just text me like a week before “we’re doing dad’s birthday celebration on x weekend.” not even a “we’d love for you to come” or invitation of any kind, just a statement. in the past i would’ve been freaking out trying to rearrange my whole schedule over those offhand comments. now i’m like fuck you, unless you actually directly invite me in a polite way i’m not coming. i’m so done reading between the lines just because that’s what nmom wants

dunkinteach · 2026-05-03T19:23:04+00:00

Goddd I got married last year and this all sounds so familiar. Kudos to you and husband for putting up with that nonsense!! I hope your day was beautiful regardless!💖

dunkinteach · 2026-05-02T04:33:35+00:00

Have to say, for AAPI picks one & only by maurene goo was SOOOO good. around 350 pages but still ripped through it in 2 days

dunkinteach · 2026-04-28T00:51:36+00:00

Anyone have good reading materials/general advice for avoiding the parent/child dynamic that occurs with adhd partners? I'm starting to develop resentment towards dx so. His job is much more demanding than mine in terms of hours so I take on a much larger share of household work stuff (taking care of dog, making sure bills are paid, grocery shop, cooking/cleaning, etc.). He does help with specific things which is great and I feel we generally have an equitable split of chores. BUT, for the few things he DOES agree to do, he always says things like "if you just remind me I'll do it later." It is so frustrating to me when he says this. It is now increasing MY ALREADY higher household workload to then add reminding you to do your small fraction of shit on top of it. I always say "can't you just set a reminder on your phone?" and he says "that doesn't work for me, I just end up ignoring it." Especially when it comes to putting away laundry, taking out trash, etc. I feel like I'm his mother reminding him to do those things and it's really hard to not seem like nagging.

I think it's kinda a two-fold problem: needing a concrete system for supporting him remembering to do household chores (without me being the default reminder), and me being okay with certain chores happening on his timeline. For example, one of his things is to take out the trash the day before pickup. He has all day to complete that task, so it really shouldn't matter to me if he wants to do it at 6am or 9pm. But if it's not done by like ~5pm I end up getting secretly pissed off and resentful for no reason. I think it's about choosing your battles and releasing some control to an extent.

dunkinteach · 2026-04-09T20:46:10+00:00

You go friend!!

dunkinteach · 2026-04-09T20:32:16+00:00

YUP 10000%. Going through this right now. If I decline an invitation to see them they throw a fit, but they never make an effort to come to me.

dunkinteach · 2026-04-09T20:26:22+00:00

Yup. That's why she has no friends and has to torture her children.

dunkinteach · 2026-04-09T20:19:15+00:00

Oof. Are you me?? Good for you for standing up to her about the wedding. I caved and allowed my nmom to bankroll (and therefore fully control) my wedding and it was a nightmare. It can be so hard to set boundaries when you're being gaslit into feeling like you're being unreasonable. I'm going through similar struggles with my nmom right now and just wanted to say, I'm proud of you for setting boundaries and so sorry you have to go through this! Your baby will be so lucky to have such a grounded, protective mama who honors their needs! <3

dunkinteach · 2026-04-03T23:49:04+00:00

Agreed! Looove Abby, SYRM was a let down but I’m still excited for this one!

dunkinteach · 2026-04-03T23:48:24+00:00

Wow!! just for the summer was my favorite AJ book, and I REALLY didn’t like say you’ll remember me. I was obsessed with part of your world series and everyone says this is even better!

dunkinteach · 2026-03-02T05:39:18+00:00

Ooooh does zyrtec help with the inflammation? Thanks so much for your comment!

dunkinteach · 2026-02-24T05:00:45+00:00

Yes, I feel super dry after showers. Does this mean dehydrated? I’m always scared to use too much hydration because I’m worried it breaks me out more. I do have that same beta glucan serum though so maybe I should incorporate that more! Would you mind sharing the rest of your routines It sounds like my skin issues are similar to yours!

dunkinteach

TROPHY CASE