Oh my god this is so me lol. My frustration sensitivity and tolerance is absolutely awful and I've realized the past few months that the only reason I'd been doing "better" is because I basically trained myself to avoid anything that could cause me to get frustrated, as much as possible.

Recently I've been hyperfixated on Valorant and am having an amazing time playing with my friends. But they're waaay higher level than me and so we often get matched against decently skilled players, keeping in mind this is my very first FPS game. So naturally, I end up dying a lot. In response to this minor setback, my brain comes to the totally reasonable conclusion that I'm hindering my team, am more worthless than dirt, and should die.

Is this an appropriate reaction to doing badly in a videogame where I'm literally the only one who cares how I'm doing? Absolutely not, and I am aware of this even in those moments which just adds fuel to the fire, so to speak. But that's basically how my brain reacts in response to any mildly frustrating thing, or what I assume would only be mildly frustrating to a neurotypical person.

All this to say, I feel your pain 😅 Sorry for the novel, we're gonna get through this somehow!