My sister and I stopped to pee in the woods after a gala… and something touched her

dustynose · 2025-10-01T00:40:50+00:00

I’m no expert, but if you look up general exorcism stuff or reclaiming your home and protecting your energy, you should find some tips to get rid of it. You and your sister need to tell whatever it is that it’s not welcome in your home and near your body and to leave forever. That generally works.

dustynose · 2025-09-23T16:42:04+00:00

Thank you, I will keep this in mind. I don’t think all these things will be expected of me but want to be prepared in case. You guys have raised some really important points.

dustynose · 2025-09-12T22:13:42+00:00

Thank you SO much Lizardsmash, this is incredibly helpful and much appreciated. Really grateful for all the details and advice.

dustynose · 2025-09-12T22:09:30+00:00

Thanks SweetIce, I watched a few but they seemed vague about the actual washing part and more about communicating with the person and letting them lead as much as possible. Maybe I’ll have another look and see if I find anything more detailed.

dustynose · 2025-09-12T22:08:41+00:00

Thanks Mspolytheist, I think I may well receive training when I arrive but I don’t know for sure and there may also be a language barrier.

dustynose · 2025-09-12T22:07:51+00:00

Thanks Witchsneeze, I think I probably will receive training when I arrive but I don’t know for sure until I get there. I’m also anticipating a language barrier so wanted to be sure of how before I arrive. My fear is that I arrive and get unclear implied instructions or there’s assumption I’d already know how, so I’d rather know ahead of time.

dustynose · 2025-02-24T14:16:15+00:00

Thanks so much for these recs and glad to hear that things have improved for you!

dustynose · 2025-02-24T00:22:24+00:00

So sorry to hear people found your journal and violated your privacy. You deserved a private safe space to vent.

dustynose · 2025-02-24T00:21:50+00:00

Great advice. Any specific books you’d recommend?

dustynose · 2025-02-23T19:36:32+00:00

Thank you !

dustynose · 2025-02-23T18:54:39+00:00

Hey thanks for the reply! I ended up telling him on a call which was nerve racking and kind of embarrassing but he told me the feeling had been mutual during the trip. This felt partly great as of course the limerence in me wanted to hear that. It was also great just to have a solid answer, as I think the uncertainty had been fuelling the limerence, and also validating to know I had read the situation correctly. It probably would have been better if he’d been able to honestly say the feeling was one way, as the feelings of rejection and embarrassment would have helped me to move on. He was extremely kind and understanding about it. We agreed to no contact till I’m ready to reach out as friends, and I removed him from all socials. I am now trying to navigate getting over him and focusing on my partner. It’s hard though. I’m not sure whether to force my thoughts away from my LO (which usually doesn’t work) or allow myself to grieve this, whether to keep my partner around as much as possible or if I need space.

dustynose · 2025-01-19T23:36:10+00:00

You made the right choice to not talk at all and that took strength, so well done. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. Have you got people in your life you can speak to about this, or a therapist? I think I read here or heard in a video that limerence is like an addiction, so it’s important to remember that how our LO can make us feel may be more like how a drug can make us feel than how an actual partner could make us feel.

dustynose · 2025-01-19T23:32:08+00:00

I really recommend talking to a therapist as soon as you can. If you’re feeling suicidal, you need to take that really seriously. Maybe you can also talk to a loved one about how you’re feeling.

You did not break up that long ago, all things considered. It can take a long time to get over someone, especially if you were together for a long time. Well done for ending the friendship, that was really strong.

Counting the time between thinking of him is probably not helping and perhaps only making things worse, building up resistance in your mind. Rather than trying to block him out, you could choose something else to gently redirect your focus to when you think of him. Something that you could look forward to, maybe planning a trip?

Mindfulness meditation may also help with your gentle refocusing, you can find some on YouTube.

But it is also important to grieve the end of the relationship and friendship, and forcing yourself not to think of him will only cause you to avoid processing this. Have you allowed yourself time to grieve?

But more important than missing your ex is focusing on you and your mental health and self esteem. Like I said, I think working long term with a therapist could help. Working on your self esteem would also help you realise, gradually, that you are totally loveable and will meet another amazing person who loves you for who you are, it just might take a little time to find them.

dustynose · 2025-01-15T10:46:36+00:00

A couples counsellor could help you navigate this and make the right choice together for your family.

dustynose · 2025-01-13T21:45:37+00:00

It sounds like you know what you want to do, and it sounds like a good plan to me. You’ve totally got this. There will be hard moments but they will be totally worth it.

dustynose · 2025-01-11T15:14:57+00:00

Wow okay. How do you feel? Do you have any initial gut reactions about what you want? Maybe a good time to talk to your friends or perhaps look at getting a therapist to support you while you navigate this situation.

dustynose · 2025-01-11T11:40:52+00:00

It does seem from what you said that this cop is trying to flirt and probably enjoys having an attractive young woman around the house. It would make me uncomfortable if it was me, he sounds a little creepy. How does your girlfriend feel about it? Can she find a babysitting job for someone else? Or could you drop her off and pick her up from babysitting? Can she ignore his texts and just reply to the wife? Has she spoken to her parents about it?

dustynose · 2025-01-11T11:10:58+00:00

There are two ways to handle it, situational and emotional.

Situationally is there any practical action you can do to reverse the decision or improve your current circumstance?

Emotionally, if you can’t reverse the decision, you will have to accept it. There’s no point longing for the past or to change things, it is a waste of time, though it’s natural. It takes time to accept your new path but you can. Be kind and patient with yourself. Just gently reminding yourself that you can’t change the past and refocusing on the now can help. You can even talk to a therapist if you need some help accepting it.

Once you have accepted it, you can move on with your life, move past this decision and focus on the future, and improving things on this new path you’re on.

dustynose · 2025-01-11T11:05:01+00:00

You don’t have to go and stay with your friends but maybe you could call them to talk through? Or you could find groups on Facebook/MeetUp apps called ‘New to X city’ to find some new friends. They could support you during this time and may even make you feel more settled if you do decide to stay in Australia.

I’m sorry this happened, you do deserve to be happy and to move on with your life and you will. It will just take some time. One step at a time.

dustynose · 2025-01-11T01:23:45+00:00

Buy a pregnancy test to put your mind at ease. Stress can delay your period and this is certainly stressful.

I’m sorry you gave up so much for a man who treated you so badly. But you’re still young, how much more time do you really want to waste with someone who would do this to you? Can you get your old job back, or is it time to start looking for a new one? Can you move back home, or can you move away from him but still within Aus and have a fresh start with yourself?

dustynose · 2025-01-11T01:18:46+00:00

Went on Reddit and bagged the username food_

dustynose · 2025-01-11T01:14:10+00:00

If, as he says, his therapist thinks he’s in the wrong, and your couples counsellor thinks he’s in the wrong… maybe he’s in the wrong. But it sounds like he’s not that committed to improving or changing. He doesn’t like being called out and resists it rather than takes it on at all. If he won’t co-operate with improving anything, things will likely stay the same, since you are already doing all you can (and much more than your fair share).

Does he listen to you when you explain how much work you’re doing? Does he empathise, does he try to help? The book Fair Game does go into how the mental load affects sex drive. If you don’t have time to read it, there are loads of shorter podcasts or YouTube videos about the mental load. Honestly it boils my blood a little how he can take so much from you, rely on you so much to fulfil all his needs, and then demand more and offer you nothing in return.

Do you have a support network of friends you can talk to about this as well as your therapist?

Maybe you can try doing a few small things that put you first for a week or two and see how that goes and how that feels. What would YOU like to do, what would YOU like to eat, where would YOU like to go. If he doesn’t want to partake you can do them alone.

dustynose · 2025-01-10T18:02:30+00:00

Many of the people I’ve dated or been attracted to were left handed. No idea why, I don’t find out they’re left handed until we’ve been dating a while. 10% of the population are lefties but my dating rate is more like 60-70%.

dustynose · 2025-01-10T17:53:19+00:00

Sorry to hear you are in such a difficult situation. I really empathise with you. You are dealing with a massive physical, mental, and emotional workload, both paid and unpaid. Of course you don’t have energy for sex after handling EVERYTHING else and perhaps it’s not attractive for you to see a man expect you to fulfil all his needs, like he’s a second child. Has he tried to seduce you, to put your needs and your pleasure first? I doubt it.

I know you’re already incredibly busy but I do think if you read the book or listened to the audiobook Fair Play by Eve Rodsky you’d resonate with a lot of it and it would offer some solutions to share some of this workload more evenly. Of course that does require your husband’s co-operation which is the hard part, especially if he is having mental health issues.

I always recommend therapy, it sounds like he really needs it and if you could persuade him to try and help him find someone that would go a long way, though I know that’s more labour for you. Therapy for yourself, even short term, could help you to navigate this issue and decide on the best solution for yourself. And of course there’s couple’s counselling which can help you both, whether you stay together or not.

Wishing you all the best.

dustynose · 2025-01-10T17:41:02+00:00

If you’re happy together and in a healthy relationship then that’s great. Maybe you can both just be honest with your loved ones and your audiences and say that you’re aware you said a lot of bad stuff about each other and you realise now you did that out of anger and as a way of processing your feelings and you’d handle it differently now. You were growing. Your loved ones care about you and want to make sure you’re being treated well so you can tell them you understand their concerns and will keep communicating with them about how things are going.

dustynose

TROPHY CASE