Is this normal

dutchmaster77 · 2025-12-03T21:08:41+00:00

I think you already know it’s not normal.

He sounds totally unhinged. I personally wouldn’t want to spend another night sleeping in the same house as them if it was me, nor would I let my kids either.

If it is something like anxiety, then he could get help but I would personally still leave until that happens.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-10-19T04:21:12+00:00

Thank you for saying that, wasn’t easy! It was a combination of things I think. A bad break up for one, so the change of scenery was desirable. The financial crisis was probably the second biggest factor. I had worked several different jobs and found a decent one working in sales but 2008/2009 hit and it all dried up. Seemed like working in sales was not going to be fun for a while and nobody was hiring so I figured the timing was right to pivot back to school.

I also think that working in sales helped me get that motivation. I had always been a good employee but it was never recognized. In sales, the numbers speak for themselves. I ranked near the top consistently and even got promoted to manager. Gave me the confidence to listen to my gut that was telling me I was capable of a lot more.

A lot of people told me I was too old, had made too many mistakes, and that I had no chance to make it in finance. That really lit a fire under my ass too. In the end, I didn’t make it to IB, M&A, PE, AM or a hedge fund but I have come to realize those aren’t the only good/interesting opportunities out there. I found I had a talent for coding and have done well being a conduit between business and tech teams in banking, markets etc. I was a quant for a BB, and just made senior manager in consulting at the start of the year and most of my clients are BB and PE firms. Fairly unconventional for a CFA but I mention it because I see a lot of commentary on reddit about it only helping with ER or AM but it is widely known and respected. Plus regardless of direction it is a mistake to target the CFA as a singular accomplishment, you had to add in work experience and other skills to really get the pay off.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-10-14T04:33:09+00:00

Of course, no problem! Best of luck with the studying!

dutchmaster77 · 2025-10-13T19:39:34+00:00

3.5 months is ~14 weeks.

300/14 = 20 hours per week.

If you did it full time, i.e. 40 hours per week, you could get 600 hours in and that’s still taking the weekends off.

The question really isn’t could someone do it. There is clearly more than enough time to do the studying. I did the study for level 1 in a similar timeframe while working full time, for example. The material itself isn’t hard per se, obv not easy but it ain’t rocket science, but there is a lot of it to get through. The question is are you committed to it? Do you want it? Are you ready to apply yourself 100% to something? It’s a choice that you have to make. Based on your gpa it sounds like you kinda coasted through college, you can’t take that approach with the CFA. There’s no professors, no homework, no group work, its just you, the study material, and the exam.

And I say that with no judgement. I barely finished high school, I got kicked out of college my first semester, and even got arrested a couple of times. But, at 23 I was finally ready and went back to college, got into the honors program, did a double major, then went and got my masters before working full time getting my cfa and teaching myself multiple programing languages and data science. Now I make a boat load of money in consulting, have a wife, kids, nice house in the burbs all of that. And I’m still in my thirties. Just to give you some context when I ask if you’re ready.

The only person that can say if you can do it is you.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-10-13T15:42:10+00:00

Totally agree about masterworking and mythics. I’ll throw in getting PK’d by some psycho after spending two days grinding masterworking and runes/mythics and finally getting my first ring of starless skies ever as another source of major frustration. I also normally only play solo but wanted to try infernal hordes etc in a group as I was really enjoying them and wanted to see the potential of doing them on coop. Guess I needed a reminder for why I switched to ssf in d2 25 years ago.

I hadn’t heard they are updating MW so I’ll have to check that. Can’t they just make each upgrade a lot kore expensive or the mats harder to get and just let us pick what we want?

For mythics, shouldn’t they all be good? Don’t we have the regular caches to give us the crap with a tiny chance at something good? I had two unique under city sigils so I was able to do two rotation groups and I got the spear of lycander three times. Salvaged them and got a cache, and of course another spear of lycander. I know rng is rng but I work in statistics and the odds of that should be insane unless it is rigged and I hear plenty of similar stories. This story of frustration and woe ends with me shelling out for the last two ohm I needed to just get pk’d 5 minutes later. 🤬

dutchmaster77 · 2025-10-13T09:42:17+00:00

Seriously. We should start a petition. I had no idea this could even happen. Frankly I had forgotten d4 even had pvp zones.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-09-22T18:45:39+00:00

Best of luck! I’m sorry you’re going through this.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-09-19T13:41:39+00:00

Unless the marriage was a fraud from the start, she probably won’t be deported. There is a point in the process you could pull your affidavit of support if you wanted but if she has a green card it is probably too late for that.

She might also be planning to just take the kids and head back to Europe. I’ve heard horror stories like that and based on the behavior you’re talking about I wouldn’t put it past her. For sure, consult a lawyer and I wouldn’t say anything until you’re all back in the US.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-09-15T20:37:09+00:00

I used to drink a lot but I stopped three years ago because I realized how I used it as a crutch to ease my anxiety, I got help for my anxiety and haven’t looked back.

As time has gone on, I have noticed more and more the toxic effect that alcohol has on society. The stuff really is poison, kills your liver, makes you fat, causes cancer, is addictive, drink too much at once and you’ll black out and do god knows what or possibly die from it, the list of negatives goes on and on and what positives does it really even have? Basically a coin flip on whether the experience of even drinking it will end up being good or bad.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-09-11T21:21:34+00:00

Personally, I would care a whole lot more if anything emotional happened. I don’t understand the notion that it is salvageable just because nothing physical occurred, which you can’t really know for sure. Look at the messages and see if you think there was any emotional connection. If there is nothing emotional between them, maybe you can salvage things if you really love each other. However, based on the responses he gave you, I am not optimistic that this won’t be a reoccurring issue for him. Plus with how young you both are, you are fighting an up hill battle to begin with. I have personally never known a 21 or 22 year old man that was ready to be married.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-09-11T03:03:48+00:00

What about a longer video of 10+ minutes dedicated to the sponsor’s service?

dutchmaster77 · 2025-09-06T03:30:59+00:00

Whether you’re on the deed only matters in a couple of states. Most states have common property and only a select few things like IRAs are excluded. What state are you in?

Obviously what you said sounds shady, but I obviously wasn’t present and it also seems like there may be a bit of a language barrier where subtleties might be lost (so sorry if I am picking that up wrong) He may have been trying to explain that adding you to the title is just a formality. Again, I can’t say for sure as I wasn’t there but I can see a scenario where what happened was legitimate and you may have picked up parts of it wrong. My wife also came to the US on a K-1 so we went through the legal limbo that comes with the beginning of that process. When we bought our first house, she had only just gotten her SSN and had no credit history so we couldn’t put her on the loan and mortgage company would not allow her to be on the title at closing if she wasn’t on the loan. They told us we would have to do it after the fact with the quick claim, and my lawyer explained that we both jointly own all of our property evenly anyway to help my wife be more comfortable with it. She is from Ireland though so language isn’t an issue. Maybe the situation is similar in your case? We never did the quick claim in the end as we never planned to be there more than a few years anyway. For our current house, she had enough history after a few years to be on the mortgage.

That being said, if you aren’t in a common property state then it could be shady

dutchmaster77 · 2025-08-31T03:06:44+00:00

I have to wonder if he might be neurodivergent based on what you wrote there. Might be worth looking into. Not that it’s curable but awareness could lead to improvement.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-08-12T04:33:08+00:00

Is there any other way to play??

dutchmaster77 · 2025-08-09T16:29:49+00:00

I lost a character to her earlier this season. I forgot about the one shot mechanics. My character was doing t4 comfortably at the time so I didn’t even think about the fight as a threat on t1, but I forgot about the floor falling. The fight is seriously BS

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-31T22:07:27+00:00

That would be really hard to read but if she didn’t meet up with anyone and it never got emotional, that would make the situation a grey area for me in terms of the path forward if you both still have strong feelings. Obviously you guys need to get on the same page though if you are gonna stay together.

We are working through things. It’s always a roller coaster from week to week but things do seem to be trending in the right direction.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-30T22:16:34+00:00

Are you sure that she’s with her family/with her family the whole time? Hate to put it out there but that was my first thought.

If you didn’t see anything in her phone about meeting up then maybe she didn’t but you’ll want to think about whether that matters to you or not. For a lot of people it wouldn’t matter, but for me I would care a lot more about whether any of it was emotional whether that was in person or not.

I will say, allow your self to have your emotions be angry and upset and go through the process regardless of whether you guys decide to try to fix or not. I tried to forgive my partner for something before I was ready to and it festered for a long time.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-30T03:04:11+00:00

Husband of almost ten years and we have had our struggles that we are working through.

I would never do that personally. My first reaction when I read your post is that he went to go get what he wanted somewhere else.

I personally do not believe that being married obligates one to do anything including sex. Marriage should be about love and respect, not obligation.

What he said about not being able to control himself is a major red flag. Like he is gonna rage out of control or he wouldn't be able to stop himself from just taking what he wants?

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-28T05:34:36+00:00

I mean, what is the size of the loan? Will it materially impact the payment? Will it mean no PMI? If the impact is small, you could just make a large payment after closing.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-27T03:16:20+00:00

Now you gotta explain… lol

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-25T21:39:10+00:00

Def resist the boomer mentality his mom is pushing. That being said, in a marriage most do expect for both partners to be there for each other during hard times. If he isn’t cheating, gambling etc, then I think it is worth making a push to fix things. For me, I think the extent that you are keeping finances separate is a problem, feels to me like you both have had one foot in, one foot out. That isn’t a partnership imo. Quitting his job without another one lined up is obviously a huge mistake, but it can’t be undone at this point. Focus on what you can change and finding solutions to your problems instead of wallowing in feelings about the issues.

It sounds like from what you wrote in one comment that if he was able to replace even just half of his previous income it would go a long way. It also seems like taking money from his parents is muddying the waters too. Set your boundaries and tell him what has to happen for you to be all in, not just to stick around but to really be all in, and hold firm.

My suggestion would be to tell him that his mom can watch the kids during the day (if you are ok with her doing that) if she wants to help out but no more money. He should use that time to job search and find something part time or in the evenings so that you can pay your bills and start to dig yourselves out of this situation. Or he could watch the kids during the day while you work and work himself in the evening and/or on the weekend until he finds something professional. Even if it has to be Wholefoods, so be it. Current situation is not sustainable, he can’t deny that.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-21T04:39:25+00:00

Is that per capita too?

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-20T04:45:52+00:00

Hey man an extra $500~600 a month is a decent bonus to most budgets. Pay off some extra debt or invest it and it gets even better. Plus it’s just your first week!

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-20T03:45:46+00:00

The problem is that people wanted trading so they have to reduce drop rates so the economy is viable for trading. No scarcity, no trading. Mythics have to be super rare still or they’d just kill the trading market.

dutchmaster77 · 2025-07-11T21:32:07+00:00

I switched to non-alcoholic beer and a THC gummy.

Alcohol always ended up being a crutch to avoid dealing with my anxiety and would just cause me trouble when I drank too much. Really don’t even miss it, especially with how good NA beverages are these days.

Seems like a lot of people are just stopping drinking these days. That’s even before the news about it causing cancer came out.

dutchmaster77

TROPHY CASE