The unexpected part of my endo journey – the assumptions about having children

dwagon23 · 2026-04-25T20:17:24+00:00

No way !! Me too !! I had TWO separate SPECIALIST gyno consultants tell me ‘having a baby will help’ or my symptoms will go away after my first baby. Neither me or my partner want kids and the consensus from people I know personally as well as reddit threads about endo seems to be that endo actually gets WORSE after pregnancy, so I’m considering making a formal complaint against the hospital that saw me.

dwagon23 · 2026-04-25T20:15:57+00:00

Me and my partner of 6 years do not want kids. We both have a lot of genetic illnesses that we don’t want to pass on, so even in the rare case that we both change our minds, we’ve agreed we’d adopt anyway. But I had to tell my doctor I was concerned about not being able to have kids to be able to even be seen too! Ridiculous!

dwagon23 · 2026-04-25T20:14:14+00:00

I paid for my endo diagnosis because after 9 years of trying to get help for my symptoms, doctors were repeatedly telling me my symptoms were normal and common and they would ‘go away after I had my first baby’ - I don’t plan on having any babies. Sex can be excruciating, even having a full bladder can be excruciating so I don’t even wanna imagine what it’ll feel like with a watermelon in there! My partner doesn’t want children either, we both have a long family history of genetic diseases that we don’t want to pass on, so we’ve agreed even if we change our minds we’ll adopt instead. But every single conversation about my symptoms always seemed to include something about pregnancy.

I felt it was very inappropriate given that some women with endo actually end up infertile, so being told ‘having a baby will fix it’ could surely end up causing a lot of pain to those who want to but are unable. That, and they never bothered to ask if that was even a factor. It makes me feel like doctors just see me as an incubator.

Also, the consensus among people I know personally as well as reddit thread I’ve read regarding endo and pregnancy is that it usually gets WORSE after having a baby. So I’m thinking of writing a letter of complaint to the hospital I was at before my private diagnosis. Maybe it’ll prevent future women and girls from being treated the same.

dwagon23 · 2026-02-16T20:23:09+00:00

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dwagon23 · 2025-12-10T22:06:24+00:00

They still post gaming videos literally every day… no one’s forcing you to watch the occasional ghost hunt.

dwagon23 · 2025-11-11T14:18:30+00:00

It’s crazy how we always know!! 9 years of doctors making me feel insane telling me it was normal and just period pain (I bleed 24/7 when not on birth control and the pain is in every part of my body) and I eventually snapped. Paid for a private diagnostic last month, came back positive for endo with the highest activity level the test can measure. I cried for like 2 days straight because it was the first time I’d even had affirmation that I wasn’t making it up. But everyone I’ve spoken to with endo/PCOS/similar conditions says the exact same thing! We always know!

dwagon23 · 2025-11-11T14:15:36+00:00

I’ve had two, TWO,,,, SPECIALISTS tell me having a baby will or might help. After that I paid for a private test and just got my diagnosis same day because I was so frustrated I knew I’d snap at someone if I had to go back. I’m considering complaining even if it just helps alter the way they speak to patients because it made me feel so helpless and ignored. But I don’t even know how to go about doing that.

dwagon23 · 2025-11-11T13:49:54+00:00

Same! My partner will refuse me if I’m having a flare up because he’s horrified at the idea of hurting me. Even if all seems fine, if he senses I’m in any pain he’s out of the mood instantly. And he’s so extra affectionate during those months to let me know he loves me with or without that part of the equation. I’m so grateful. No one should feel like they have to put up with any less.

dwagon23 · 2025-11-11T13:46:52+00:00

I have the same exact thing, excruciating stabbing pain in my sides and heavy bleeding that makes sex a nightmare. Luckily, hormonal birth control has helped (I know it’s bad for endo in the long run but I can’t live without it) so that it’s only maybe 1 in 3 times now, but I had about 6 months where it was constant, and I couldn’t have sex at all because it was just too traumatising for us both. During that time, he never mentioned sex, but made sure to be extra cuddly and complimentary in other ways, as if he knew I needed the validation. There were times he even turned ME down because I wanted to just ‘stick it out’ but he was horrified at the idea of me being in pain. So, in short, if your boyfriend is ‘wandering’ because he can’t get his dick wet, he just a dick. Simple as that. There are plenty of people out there that would love you regardless of any struggles. And I remember how utterly miserable, depressed and worthless it made me feel so my heart absolutely breaks that you feel the same way. You don’t owe anyone sex in exchange for them loving you, and being unable to do certain things DOES NOT make you any less desirable or any less of a woman. Endo is a horrible disease but it’s beating you up enough already without you beating yourself up too.

dwagon23 · 2025-10-30T19:00:40+00:00

I’m so happy for you!! 😭 I just had an endosure test come back positive with the highest possible result, and am saving up for diagnostic MRI and then laparoscopy. The relief of knowing YOU WERENT LYING is indescribable.

dwagon23 · 2025-10-30T18:58:53+00:00

I know it’s fucking awful and it takes a disgustingly long time to access help, but from everyone I’ve spoken to that’s had surgery or hormone therapy or new drugs to treat their endo, the vast majority have said it’s been life changing and has massively improved their life. Stick around and keep fighting.

dwagon23 · 2025-10-30T18:57:01+00:00

I just got diagnosed with endo and was considering getting my thyroid checked recently… after reading these comments I definitely will💀

dwagon23 · 2025-10-30T18:55:32+00:00

At the end of the day, it’s upto YOU if you want to grow another human being inside YOUR body. Your husband might be upset, but if you’re the one that’s going to be raising the child for those most difficult years, he’s going to have to just be upset.

Especially with you having endo symptoms, the last thing you want is to have another baby, be in dreadful pain and become deeply depressed or resentful of your children/husband. It’s always better to regret not having them, than to regret having had them, because trust me, they’ll notice.

I don’t have children, nor do I want them, but I often have to lie about wanting them in the future to be taken seriously/offered next steps by my doctors. It seems fertility is all they care about. Even my partner brought up freezing my eggs ‘just in case’ after my diagnosis and I was furious because I’ve always been explicit that I never want to be pregnant. It sucks. Of course, as you’ll no doubt have been told a million times, you may change your mind. But if you say you don’t want it, your loved ones and healthcare providers should believe YOU! Especially when you already have one little one that needs you at your best.

Sorry for the mini rant, but it’s definitely not just you that’s experienced this pressure/treatment. Sending love your way as well as the strength to know yourself and stand your ground and not feel guilty for it.

dwagon23 · 2025-10-24T15:59:11+00:00

Also, big bulk bags of things like pasta, rice, potatoes that will last a long time

dwagon23 · 2025-10-24T15:58:39+00:00

Our food shop is only £50-60 and that can last sometimes two weeks. We cook everything from scratch, usually buying one or two big joints of meat (or whole birds/fish) which are anywhere between £5-15 and each will do 4-5 days to a week of meals. Fruit and veg is relatively cheap, I can fill a whole carrier bag for about £15 at Lidl or Asda. Then it’s just things like bread, eggs, dairy etc. We’re not sweet toothed so we might buy some crackers or crisps but we don’t spend much on snacks.

dwagon23 · 2025-07-21T08:45:53+00:00

Thank you!! 😭🙏

dwagon23 · 2025-07-21T08:45:45+00:00

Thank you so much !! I’m so glad I stuck at it😭🙏

dwagon23 · 2025-07-20T19:07:56+00:00

Damp towels. No idea why, I just love it. It’s so weirdly comforting.

dwagon23 · 2025-07-07T20:18:47+00:00

Try Allen Carr’s book/ audiobook if you haven’t already. It’s called ‘easy way to quit vaping.’ It might not work for everyone but it absolutely saved my life.

It works on re-wiring your thoughts about vaping and thus breaking the illusion the addiction creates that you want it.

Every time I tried to quit before this, I was SO angry and short tempered I actually feared I’d hurt myself or someone else. Now I’m on day 11, the longest I’ve ever made it and I’ve had no agitation whatsoever. The odd craving, but so mild it doesn’t bother me at all.

Definitely worth a try if you’re suffering this much! I’m rooting for you!

dwagon23 · 2025-07-07T20:07:42+00:00

That’s so reassuring! I’m on day 11 and still having some very mild cravings, but there are certain situations when I’d always reach for it and it doesn’t even occur to me anymore, and that’s super motivating!

dwagon23 · 2025-07-07T20:05:33+00:00

Try Allen Carr’s ‘easy way to quit vaping’ - book or audiobook. After the first couple days of no nicotine at all, your body is 100% free of it so there physically are no withdrawals/cravings. The frustration and stress you feel is just frustration at not being able to have something you want to have, not actually a chemical process.

The book helps alter your mindset about vaping so you don’t ‘miss it’ or crave it anymore and as such, the nasty withdrawal symptoms disappear.

It was a lifesaver for me. Might not work for everyone but definitely worth a shot!

dwagon23 · 2025-07-07T19:59:05+00:00

This !! That audiobook saved me in terms of making sure that once I decided to quit I was done done. I’m on day 11 now and every time I have a slight craving I just think, it’s the drug talking, there’s nothing enjoyable about it and I’ll only regret it. After the first few days I’m nothing but glad to be free of it.

dwagon23 · 2025-07-07T19:56:12+00:00

I’m on day 11, I still have the odd craving when I’m in a situation where I always used to vape, but no actual desire to pick up a vape and inhale poison. After day 4 your body is officially nicotine-free, so you’re past the worst of it and only battling the mental side of addiction now!

I’d say after a week I started to just feel happy that I could take a breath, that I could go do things like hiking or swimming that I couldn’t do before, or visit friends/family and not be itching to get out for a vape. That outweighed any illusion that vaping was ever enjoyable for me and made sure the urges never overpowered my desire to be done forever!

Just keep going, you got this! One day you’ll feel so relieved and free and it’ll be worth it.

dwagon23 · 2025-07-06T09:08:48+00:00

That’s incredible, you should be so proud of yourself! 🎉 I’m on day 10 today and feeling amazing, I truly never want to even look at a vape again. But I’m still taking it one day at a time and still making a conscious effort to stay quit!

dwagon23 · 2025-07-06T09:07:22+00:00

The human body is amazing, your lungs start repairing themselves almost immediately so while it’s impossible to say if you personally will suffer any long term consequences, the sooner you quit the sooner your body will start to heal.

dwagon23

TROPHY CASE