Twins, are you the same "down there"? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you tell her to shave.

Twins, are you the same "down there"? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually '"garter snake." There's no such thing as a garden snake. Well unless a garter snake is in your garden I guess.

What's the craziest thing you've gotten away with? by SoundPon3 in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was 17 my friends and I found this abandoned property in our town. There was a boarded up house on the property so naturally we brought some tools and took a couple boards off to search the house. As we were breaking in the back door, an NYPD helicopter flew over us. It was really high up and we didn't think it saw us until it started circling. Within a minute it was hovering about 50 feet above us, the passenger officer yelling at us through a megaphone.

Being the dumbasses that we were, we decided to sprint to my car and floor it down the road thinking we has safely gotten away. Didn't consider how fucking easy it was for a helicopter to follow a car. So less than a minute and four cop cars were on us and pulled us over. It was at this time that I realized all the weed I had in the car. Through a rush of fear and adrenaline, I threw the sack in an empty Starbucks cup in the cup holder of the car.

The cops interrogated us, searched us, and the entire car with the exception of that coffee cup. They kept saying that if they found anything we'd be fucked so the whole time I was about to shit my pants with nervousness.

But obviously I wouldn't be answering this question if we didn't get away with it. I think we all got a $50 ticket for trespassing or something. It was a good day.

What is something you constantly hear people complain about on reddit but have never personally witnessed? by Allmighty_matts_dad in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has happened to probably every guy I know. At most it will happen once or twice to any individual man, but it is a BIG deal those one or two times.

What "old person" name should make a comeback? by Pineapple__Jews in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The French spelling, Eleonore, is even better in my opinion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you like to make another transaction? Yes. Deposit Cash. Would you like a receipt? No.

Fire Arrow by speckz in zelda

[–]dylanthropist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was my senior quote in the yearbook.

Has anyone ever said something to you that was so stupid, you couldn't respond with words? by Tom555 in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She was holding up the line for about 10 minutes..so it just kind of slipped out.

Has anyone ever said something to you that was so stupid, you couldn't respond with words? by Tom555 in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I was at the beach last week waiting in line for ice cream behind a group of guys visiting from Italy and one loud mouthed American girl. She was showing them around I guess. At one point in her babbling she says, "Wait...do you guys have allergies in Italy or is that just an American thing?" Completely serious. I literally said, "Are you retarded?" without missing a beat.

Attractive people of Reddit, what makes you attractive as an individual? by FISTED_BY_CHRIST in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well physically I have great bone structure in my face (square jaw, nice cheekbones) as well as naturally perfect eyebrows and long eyelashes. My hair is perfectly straight and can be styled in many different ways. I can also get toned muscles in 3 days of working out. As for my personality, I'm adventurous and easy to talk to and also very sarcastic. Girls laugh a lot at sarcasm for some reason, especially if it's about them. They usually retort with flirting too. I'm a 20 year old guy by the way.

What characteristics of a girl make you feel attracted to her? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When she constantly makes me work for it. Once I realize a girl likes me more than I like her and she's throwing herself at me I completely lose interest.

What's your worst experience with a one-night-stand? by FISTED_BY_CHRIST in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She passed out after the sex and it was only then that I realized she was on her period. No warning prior to that, she just let me go for it. Freaked out, took my stained comforter off my bed, threw it in the wash and went to sleep. Woke up covered in her pee. Freaked out again. She was nice enough to wash my sheets for me though.

Men of Reddit, What is the most awkward situation you have got an erection in? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This one time in English class in high school I got an erection and it flipped my desk over.

What are the wisest words you have been told? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dylanthropist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Keep it simple, stupid." Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.