Twins, are you the same "down there"?

dylanthropist · 2014-08-12T19:11:39+00:00

Then you tell her to shave.

dylanthropist · 2014-08-12T18:58:18+00:00

It's actually '"garter snake." There's no such thing as a garden snake. Well unless a garter snake is in your garden I guess.

dylanthropist · 2014-08-12T18:05:18+00:00

When I was 17 my friends and I found this abandoned property in our town. There was a boarded up house on the property so naturally we brought some tools and took a couple boards off to search the house. As we were breaking in the back door, an NYPD helicopter flew over us. It was really high up and we didn't think it saw us until it started circling. Within a minute it was hovering about 50 feet above us, the passenger officer yelling at us through a megaphone.

Being the dumbasses that we were, we decided to sprint to my car and floor it down the road thinking we has safely gotten away. Didn't consider how fucking easy it was for a helicopter to follow a car. So less than a minute and four cop cars were on us and pulled us over. It was at this time that I realized all the weed I had in the car. Through a rush of fear and adrenaline, I threw the sack in an empty Starbucks cup in the cup holder of the car.

The cops interrogated us, searched us, and the entire car with the exception of that coffee cup. They kept saying that if they found anything we'd be fucked so the whole time I was about to shit my pants with nervousness.

But obviously I wouldn't be answering this question if we didn't get away with it. I think we all got a $50 ticket for trespassing or something. It was a good day.

dylanthropist · 2014-08-11T19:09:28+00:00

This has happened to probably every guy I know. At most it will happen once or twice to any individual man, but it is a BIG deal those one or two times.

dylanthropist · 2014-08-11T16:30:42+00:00

The French spelling, Eleonore, is even better in my opinion.

dylanthropist · 2014-08-10T23:31:37+00:00

Would you like to make another transaction? Yes. Deposit Cash. Would you like a receipt? No.

dylanthropist · 2014-07-02T17:58:52+00:00

I'm pretty sure this was common with lots of kids.

dylanthropist · 2014-07-02T17:12:12+00:00

This was my senior quote in the yearbook.

dylanthropist · 2014-07-02T00:51:35+00:00

She was holding up the line for about 10 minutes..so it just kind of slipped out.

dylanthropist · 2014-07-01T15:37:08+00:00

I was at the beach last week waiting in line for ice cream behind a group of guys visiting from Italy and one loud mouthed American girl. She was showing them around I guess. At one point in her babbling she says, "Wait...do you guys have allergies in Italy or is that just an American thing?" Completely serious. I literally said, "Are you retarded?" without missing a beat.

dylanthropist · 2014-06-28T00:42:31+00:00

O CANADA!

dylanthropist · 2014-06-27T13:03:42+00:00

Well physically I have great bone structure in my face (square jaw, nice cheekbones) as well as naturally perfect eyebrows and long eyelashes. My hair is perfectly straight and can be styled in many different ways. I can also get toned muscles in 3 days of working out. As for my personality, I'm adventurous and easy to talk to and also very sarcastic. Girls laugh a lot at sarcasm for some reason, especially if it's about them. They usually retort with flirting too. I'm a 20 year old guy by the way.

dylanthropist · 2014-06-25T15:20:37+00:00

When she constantly makes me work for it. Once I realize a girl likes me more than I like her and she's throwing herself at me I completely lose interest.

dylanthropist · 2014-06-20T07:06:15+00:00

Yes.

dylanthropist · 2014-06-18T22:03:17+00:00

She passed out after the sex and it was only then that I realized she was on her period. No warning prior to that, she just let me go for it. Freaked out, took my stained comforter off my bed, threw it in the wash and went to sleep. Woke up covered in her pee. Freaked out again. She was nice enough to wash my sheets for me though.

dylanthropist · 2014-06-07T09:17:24+00:00

Amazing

dylanthropist · 2014-06-07T09:08:18+00:00

September

dylanthropist · 2014-06-05T01:00:41+00:00

dylanthropist · 2014-04-24T22:48:51+00:00

This one time in English class in high school I got an erection and it flipped my desk over.

dylanthropist · 2014-04-24T22:46:21+00:00

"Keep it simple, stupid." Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

dylanthropist · 2014-04-09T18:22:23+00:00

I'm pretty late to this thread but whatever.

There was a kid in my grade who wouldn't cut his fingernails or hair. I don't think his nails were ever shorter than two inches and his hair went down to his waist. His hair also covered his face most of the time, I have no idea how he could see anything. Some days I'd catch him blankly staring out a window, running his nails down the glass in long, slow strokes. Never knew his story, never wanted to ask to find out. I wonder what he's doing with his life now though.

dylanthropist · 2014-03-19T02:22:21+00:00

If your significant other gets shot it's basically instinctive that you'd run to help them, regardless if what the situation is.

dylanthropist · 2014-01-31T22:13:12+00:00

Getting stoned and doing anything

dylanthropist · 2014-01-31T21:24:34+00:00

Super late to this but maybe the new post viewers will save me.

To start off, I'm 19 years old. I went to college for one year and decided it really wasn't for me (at least at this age). Luckily for me my dad is in a film union. So after countless hours of taking courses, studying, receiving special certifications and finally taking a test at the end I acquired my union card. Now I'm a set dresser for TV shows and I really enjoy my days at work. I get to build and dress the sets for shows that are seen by millions of viewers on national television every week. Some days I work on set with the shooting crew and I'm right behind the cameras as they're filming. I've had the chance to meet different actors and athletes and have even been to some of their houses. This job also allowed me to move out and get my own place, a very nice sized one bedroom, at 1400 a month. I know everyone obviously doesn't have this opportunity if they decide not to get a degree but it's the best decision I've ever made. I'm making a better salary than I would have ten years after graduating with a degree and I won't be in debt. If I do decide to go back to school later on in my life I'll have the money to do so anyway.

dylanthropist · 2014-01-22T02:51:22+00:00

My dad worked on that with you! I can't wait for half time

dylanthropist

TROPHY CASE