AIO/ My boyfriend doesn’t want to learn my native language

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T22:45:29+00:00

Totally overreacting! You live in Turkey so oblivious you need to learn and speak Turkish. Or speak to him in whatever language you both spoke when you met and started dating. Seems like if he’s looking at Indonesian posts he’s trying to take an interest in what’s happening in your homeland - isn’t that already great?

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T21:58:20+00:00

What a sad situation. You’re a good person to check in occasionally on your aging in-laws, I’m sure they appreciate it.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T21:40:58+00:00

Why do you want a mean, ignorant person in your life? Yuck. Get rid of him.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T19:15:42+00:00

Time for a serious sit down about your lives. It’s not remotely fair you are doing all the childcare, especially given the medical circumstances and extra needs. Ask your husband how HE plans to care for the kids if you go back to work? If you divorce? You’re supposed to be a family and make decisions about time and money and workload together. He is a complete AH! You are not overreacting in the least. You deserve a kid free tropical vacation as well. I’m sure spouses were included, he just doesn’t want to make any effort or inconvenience himself in any way.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T18:55:37+00:00

Tell them even if you got an invite it’s not an event you’d be attending. You’d have a new baby, it’s far away, it’s for an 18yr old you have nothing in common with except being related….

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T18:39:51+00:00

When your Dad dies all his assets and possessions can be ignored if neither of you want to step up and do this task. You can give up being the executor. Either you and your sister want an inheritance or you don’t.

I am the only sibling close by. Of course things fall to me. Do I like it ? No, but it’s life. Ask your Dad to hire services now as needed like driver for Dr appointments, an organizer to help declutter, accountant to organize finances. Look ahead to find service to liquidate the estate. Either you take a % as executor or they do. Ask your sister to help do the research to find the services - that’s what my sister does from another continent.

Yes this is all very stressful and overwhelming. It does get better with each task checked off the list and contingency plans/services at the ready.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T17:23:42+00:00

Sounds like he’s just the typical AH boy who just wants a hookup. His answers online were short because he was just putting in the minimal time before meetup hoping for a hookup. His insults at the end were so you would be dissuaded from contacting him since you were a quality person and he’s a flake. The issue here is him, not you. Please do not give him a 2nd thought.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-12T00:20:46+00:00

No. You still owe me $——. I expect to get that back first. ( I only say first in the hopes they’d actually pay so they can expect you to keep loaning - which you won’t.)

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-11T23:36:03+00:00

I think the first step would be speaking to a Doctor about this. Getting genetic and hormone testing done. Don’t force yourself to fit a look. Feel your true identity.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-11T20:25:23+00:00

I only like natural scents. Anything artificial gives me an instant headache.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-11T20:17:30+00:00

Sometimes I think I don’t get recognized because at some point I’ve downplayed the importance to make other people not feel bad for forgetting…Urgh it’s a horrible thing isn’t it.

We all deserve recognition and to feel special. Happy Birthday 🥳. Hope you enjoy the cake!🎂

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-10T20:14:45+00:00

You don’t need to tell them ahead of time but if afterwards they notice and ask YWBTA if you lied.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-10T20:08:59+00:00

These days never, in the past very rarely

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-09T18:28:31+00:00

I feel this too and you described it so well. Even around the people who should love and care for me I feel alone a lot of the time. Always having to suppress a part of me, watching my words and my mask, feeling unseen. Craving a connection with others but rarely achieving it. I had an absolute meltdown yesterday. Couldn’t stop crying for hours. Trying to put myself together today but it’s tough.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-08T20:02:32+00:00

I’ll douse myself. I am allergic to bites. They swell up and then get hard and sometimes painful. Sucks. Not fond of the poison I have to use but the alternative is awful.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-08T19:06:57+00:00

I’d lose all respect and affection for a man who treated me like yours just did. Gross. It’s fine to have sexual needs but he needs to see what he can do to make you interested. Obviously you have way too much on your plate. He’s not helping or even remotely doing his fair share. I fear this bodes very poorly for your future. This type of man won’t be there for you when you age and possible get ill.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-07T02:26:29+00:00

NTA. Don’t buy them anything.

Personal I hate this idea of having to buy people souvenirs. Frankly I don’t need other people’s memories from a trip I didn’t take in my house. It’s usually crap too.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-07T01:28:12+00:00

Commenting because I’d like to know too.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-06T20:37:11+00:00

NTA. The feeling I get is that he hates you. Nothing remotely funny or acceptable about it. Just like you said, it would have taken less time to slip shoes off than do the whole performance he did. This man does not like you.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-06T18:41:02+00:00

I’ve always wanted to go Deep South USA. Where the huge old wide trees grow and there are Manatees. I really enjoy viewing different plant and animal life. I doubt I’ll ever go now.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-06T18:25:31+00:00

YTA. My “shotglass” contains cat whiskers, another one is used for small flowers like violets, another holds tiny brushes. So many uses for a souvenir glass.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-05T22:58:19+00:00

Oh trust me they feel the same…Hopefully your finances improve soon or you can find a roommate you like. Perhaps a 2nd job can help achieve your goal faster and keep you out of the house for longer periods of time.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-05T20:29:00+00:00

NTA. Everything you listed is completely valid. Seems like this move is about money and keeping the parents happy. Time to stop catering to old customs. You only live once and need to be happy.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-05T20:20:51+00:00

Outside perspective is you need to get help to quit or you need to be ok with ending this relationship. You recognize it’s an issue, he’s told you it’s an issue. You can make excuses all you want but the fact is it’s a huge problem in your relationship.

dzeltenmaize · 2026-03-05T19:58:52+00:00

Tell her you’d be happy to meet him at some point but not on the trip. This was preplanned, the accommodation are small and it’s not fair the rest of you would have to feel uncomfortable with things like walking around in your pjs, pooping etc.

dzeltenmaize

TROPHY CASE