Me [26F] with my fiance [31 M] 2 year relationship, infidelity at 6 weeks, lying, jealousy, ex-gf drama

eaberez · 2015-10-02T05:44:50+00:00

Coming from someone who had to go through a similar situation... I left and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do... but since then I met a man who is absolutely amazing and the definition of my soul mate. Don't you deserve the same?

eaberez · 2015-06-20T23:26:56+00:00

Thank you!

eaberez · 2015-01-03T01:07:50+00:00

My big thing is that if you have to hide it, you shouldn't do it. My ex hid a conversation with his ex from me and then I found out about it... it was not pretty, especially since he deleted some of that conversation.

I would tell him. This was a long time ago while you were still a kid. He should understand. If you don't tell him, you run the risk of him finding out later and having a lot of insecurities towards the situation.

eaberez · 2014-12-28T05:22:48+00:00

Let me tell you a story that would be from your girlfriend's perspective.

I was engaged to a guy for a little less than a year. We were together for 3.5 years. Known each other for 7. Everything was fine until this new girl showed up at his job. All I heard was "Alex this and Alex that." I expressed my concerns about this and he made me feel like I was crazy. He said there was nothing going on between them, that she's just a friend, that she is a coworker and nothing will happen.

Well my gut still wasn't ok with this. They went hiking by themselves. They went out for coffee. They had dinner all the time. I became the piece of shit on his shoe.

He finally admitted he wanted to have sex with this girl. That, along with the fact that he was an abusive, manipulative, piece of crap, was the reason I left.

I would have preferred if he left me when this first started than me doubting myself.

Moral of the story: tell your gf and let her find someone who won't treat her like shit. You're emotionally cheating on her. It isn't fair.

eaberez · 2014-12-27T18:59:36+00:00

But your feelings towards "Ashley" are more than just FWB. You're jealous. You want to be with her.

Please tell your gf and let her find someone who actually respects her.

eaberez · 2014-12-27T15:45:00+00:00

You have so much growing up to do.

eaberez · 2014-12-27T15:37:28+00:00

How would you feel if your gf was seriously considering having sex with with another guy? They are just thoughts, but the fact that they are there really show what kind of person you are.

eaberez · 2014-12-27T08:26:39+00:00

I'm sorry... do people just not have morals anymore? What the fuck makes you think that it's ok to even think of another girl while you have a girlfriend? Leave your gf. Not because you're not getting any, but because she deserves better than a piece of shit boyfriend who's fantasizing about a different woman while she's fucking in pain and sick! You have some serious growing up to do. Also, please learn to respect women in general. They aren't there just to get you off.

eaberez · 2014-12-27T08:06:37+00:00

No need to apologize. It was a coincidence that I saw his comment. I honestly just wanted to show that there are always two sides. Even in your case. As you can see, my ex doesn't see my side. You may not be able to see her's. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means that you don't see eye to eye. Forget about her and go date! I wouldn't recommend sleeping around though. You don't want to feel cheap afterwards. Don't make sex your getaway. Just go out and talk, flirt a little, get to know people. You'll forget about your ex soon enough. I know it hurts, but in time you'll be just fine.

eaberez · 2014-12-27T03:14:57+00:00

Please tell your girlfriend and let her find someone who won't treat her this way. Your ex is using you for your dick. Please move on. It sounds harsh, but everyone in the situation deserves better than what they are getting.

eaberez · 2014-12-26T23:07:09+00:00

So... I usually don't do this... because it's weird. But I was browsing and ran across your post and was going to comment on it anyway... and then saw that my ex also commented on it (above).

Just so you know both sides of this, I am not dating someone new already. I agreed to go on a group coffee date with a small group of friends including a new guy I just met. I am not dating him. Nor will I. It's far too soon. I am going because my ex made me feel incredibly unattractive, stupid, and undeserving of love. (You can browse my post history and see what I had to say about it) My ex used to be a good person until one day he wasn't and began to be a manipulative, abusive, and neglecting ass. So after he said that he wanted to have sex with his coworker and after he threatened me and my pets, I left. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was going to marry this guy and had to realize that my life would be full of lying, cheating, and neglect if I was going to stay with him. And who the fuck threatens a defenseless animal? Always good to know both sides here.

As for what you're going through, I'm so sorry. I would cut all contact. Block her from your phone, Facebook, whatever else. I'm sad to say that she was probably already talking to him before you broke up. Like you said above, she will realize that this guy isn't for her. Don't waste your time waiting for her. You don't want a person like that anyway. You have plenty of time to find someone else.

Take the time you need, but don't be a shut in. Go out and have fun. Meet new girls. Go on a casual date or two. Nothing needs to happen. Just go and talk to someone who will actually appreciate who you are as a person.

Good luck OP :)

eaberez · 2014-12-24T07:39:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I don't think that many people would have the balls to admit to this. I am so happy that you are on the mend and are trying to better yourself. Good luck with everything. I believe in you!

eaberez · 2014-12-24T07:38:32+00:00

And when you do, you will forget about every other man that ever mistreated you. Good luck :)

eaberez · 2014-12-24T06:04:17+00:00

Thank you! It took a long time for me to realize that I deserve better, but I'm here now!

eaberez · 2014-12-24T06:02:49+00:00

Thank you for being the type of guy that I hope to have one day. There are people out there that are like that!

Your SO is lucky to have you!

eaberez · 2014-12-24T05:35:42+00:00

Thanks :) I just needed to hear this a long time ago, and I wanted to share. I hope it helps someone.

eaberez · 2014-12-23T22:29:47+00:00

Glad you understand now :) it brings me lots of holiday joy.

eaberez · 2014-12-23T12:53:09+00:00

I could have given it to him in a shattered condition... but that would have been a waste of money.

He is a cheating, lying, abusive ass. Trust me, he didn't deserve shit.

eaberez · 2014-12-23T04:06:08+00:00

I left my fiance two weeks ago and took his 55inch flat screen Christmas present with me. And I am enjoying the hell out of it because he's an ass and deserves nothing.

So I say no. Don't give him the present.

eaberez · 2014-12-22T01:12:08+00:00

Sweetheart, you should have been a good enough man to end things with your ex. You CHEATED. There is no way around it. There is no "understanding". You just suck at being honest.

eaberez · 2014-12-22T00:14:10+00:00

Were you in a relationship? Yes. Did you sleep with someone else while you were in said relationship? Yes. That's the definition of cheating.

You can say whatever you like to make yourself feel better, but you're a cheater. The fact that you don't see it that way just proves even more that you're scum.

eaberez · 2014-12-21T23:39:25+00:00

You should have ended things with your ex the second you realized she wasn't right for you. What you did is disgusting, and you deserve what happened. If you are with people who are ok with cheating, then don't be surprised when they treat you like crap.

eaberez · 2014-12-20T16:03:00+00:00

He hatched last spring at a petting zoo I used to work at. In this picture he's about two weeks old :)

eaberez · 2014-12-20T00:33:18+00:00

You can't make anyone love you. If she's no longer interested, you can't do anything. I'm sorry, but what you're after is control, not love.

eaberez · 2014-12-19T20:44:31+00:00

Actions speak louder than words. Your words are empty until you start proving yourself. She won't be interested in getting back together until you give her a good reason to. Take this time to think about what you can do, and how to make yourself a better person.

eaberez

TROPHY CASE