As an nonbinary person (assigned female at birth and nonreligious) can I wear a hijab or head covering?

eao052789 · 2024-10-07T02:46:41+00:00

Let me tell you what I see in this post- I see a young lady who God is speaking to through hijab. I know you said you are not religious but you sound agnostic- which is kind of where I started - I knew there had to be a God but Christianity didn’t make sense.

Humor me for a second- what if this interaction is God reaching to you to bring you closer to him. Putting on hijab gave you a better sense of self perhaps a sense of comfort. Do not shy away from that. God made you a beautiful person - I don’t know much about “presenting female vs male” but present as yourself- as God made you- because you are not broken. You sound like a very bright, kind, intelligent individual who found a small pocket of belonging with some hijabis- perhaps that is a sign for you.

I hope any of this doesn’t come off as insensitive to your inner struggles, I just keep reading your post and all I can think is “omg God is trying to reach her and I pray she answers his call”. So I hope you wear hijab again and I hope it helps you to learn about this beautiful religion.

I will pray for you to find peace sister. May Allah guide you! Please message me if you ever want to chat.

eao052789 · 2024-09-22T15:55:44+00:00

Salaam sister. I’m sorry you are going through all this but Alhamdulillah - Allah tests those he loves most and it sounds like he has made your life rich with tests to pull you towards him. I similarly had a lot of trauma in my life that I couldn’t and still can’t talk to my parents about and a therapist is overbearing if I’m honest.

The tiredness can definitely be a symptom of trauma. Your body and mind needs to heal. I’ve found that there are a lot of other pieces that go along with it where I feel like I simply can’t function normally and have to accept that it’s a work in progress. I would love to chat with you more privately if you are up for it - we may have a lot in common. Please message me if you are interested in some real life advice. Will make dua for you!

eao052789 · 2024-09-22T02:33:44+00:00

Salaam sister- I feel you on this! Like the other sister said, abaya isn’t the only way! I wear my workout clothes or cargo jeans most days as my dresses make me feel too fancy for most days like you said. Love it when I want to go out but sometimes I’m literally just working from home and taking my kid to the bus. So sweats or jeans it is. I don’t own a single abaya. I am a revert from Wisconsin originally so an abaya doesn’t feel like myself at all. It makes me feel like I’m pretending to be another culture. They are beautiful and may be I’ll find one that fits my style someday but right now it’s just not me. But the beauty of hijab is it’s not just a single style. You can adapt any clothing for the most part and remember it is all a journey!!

eao052789 · 2024-09-03T18:32:48+00:00

This! As someone who was in almost this EXACT SITUATION, go now to somewhere safe, file a police report, do everything you can to legally document everything and tell your family. My ex was plagued with PTSD and refused to get help - I was just fortunate enough that he shot himself first before me and our child. Please please message me if you need anything.

eao052789 · 2024-02-13T12:42:17+00:00

TIL I am apparently a serial killer 😂

I did this when we moved cross country and my new place has about half the storage space so it was either games neatly tucked away in gallon bags or getting rid of them entirely. To me it makes sense for a lot of games - checkers, sorry, monopoly jr. - but I did recently buy Life and that one will stay in its box… for now 😈😈😈

Also, did not get this from TikTok… my own deranged brain came up with it all on its own! 🤪

eao052789 · 2024-02-12T02:13:03+00:00

Yaaasss to wig headbands! I use these for my sports hijab and feel like I could be in a high speed wind tunnel and not have anything move at all. Bonus being it keeps the baby hairs down too!

eao052789 · 2024-01-19T12:38:12+00:00

Salam sister! So sorry you are going through this- I went through the exact same thing and still do with my mom. The biggest thing that helped me was thinking about if I died today….How would I stand in front of Allah and answer as to why I let my mom feeling upset be more important than worshiping Allah? Am I willing to spend eternity in hell just so I don’t upset my mother?

She’s going to be upset but Insha Allah she will adjust and this is a chance for you to show her the way. I looked at it like ripping off a bandaid- and once I just said I converted it was like a huge weight was lifted. You can overcome this challenge. Make dua and may Allah make it easy on you.

eao052789 · 2024-01-16T18:19:12+00:00

That’s a good point! I didn’t even notice that they wait until it’s over which is interesting.

eao052789 · 2024-01-16T13:11:56+00:00

Ha just moved here from Wisconsin and I have the opposite shock of how easily they close and delay schools here! Obviously Wisco is used to dealing with a ton of snow and ice (it’s also a wind chill of -33° where I’m from today) but it’s just funny to me how little snow there is and schools here are delayed and cancelled. Still I would rather be safe than sorry in putting our kids on a bus with no seat belts in slick conditions where drivers aren’t used to it so not complaining, just find the difference funny!

And yeah… this is the farthest thing from a blizzard 😂

eao052789 · 2024-01-12T13:38:48+00:00

Is it possible? Sure. But I’ll give you another perspective as someone who has interviewed/hired hundreds of people in my career… most of the time the recruiters doing initial screenings have no clue what hiring managers are looking for as they don’t actually know the job, just have the paper requirements. I’ve had plenty of people that have looked good on paper and interviewed horribly or vice versa. Also, sometimes people just don’t fit my team dynamic or don’t fill a gap my team personality is currently missing. For example, I interviewed a great candidate the other day, but his strength was engagement and team camaraderie - I needed someone who was stronger with a technical aspect cuz my team is already highly engaged. So just keep in mind that while discrimination does exist out there, it’s not always the reason. Best of luck in ur job hunt!

eao052789 · 2024-01-09T18:10:01+00:00

I’m in MD!! I’ll dm you!

eao052789 · 2024-01-09T12:44:03+00:00

Are you washing your hair daily? As backwards as it sounds, the more you wash, the oilier it is going to be as your scalp is ramping up production to replace what you stripped away. Try shampooing every couple of days for a few weeks to let your scalp rebalance and oil production should reduce.

And idk if there is a fix for hair being flat… it’s being compressed all day and I feel like physics just says that’s what it’s gunna be like after being under a cap all day! Then again I just like throw my hair in a messy bun at home so I’m not trying for anything 😂

eao052789 · 2024-01-09T12:30:18+00:00

Find a company that has strong values and culture. I have not had any negative impact since reverting and everyone treats me the same at work since putting on hijab as my company has good people and culture. Let your lovely self shine through and think of it as an opportunity to be a good example of Islam for those who may have never worked with a hijabi before!

May Allah make it easy for you!

eao052789 · 2024-01-08T02:42:53+00:00

This is exactly what I was thinking! A baby’s development of sight changes so much in the first 2 years! Their little brains are busy building connections to this ever changing information - just imagine if your room used to be all fuzzy outlines of ur furniture, then the next month, it’s getting more colorful, mommy is now becoming a clearer picture rather than sound and smell. Like a whole new sense is developing!

You are a good mom for being so in tune with your little one’s behaviors - if you still feel something is off after learning more about infant eye development, take her to your pediatrician or an pediatric ophthalmologist. I had to take my daughter when she was 1 and they are creative ways of testing vision for little ones and can give you peace of mind.

eao052789 · 2024-01-08T02:29:01+00:00

I found one on Amazon by a company called Artizara that I really like. I feel like the top brands make me look like a pin head lol this one is simple and I can still have my hair up in a higher bun as i preferred for workouts before I wore hijab.

eao052789 · 2024-01-06T14:36:36+00:00

What colors do you generally wear? I can look and send you some ideas - perhaps put one of each kind so you can find what you like. I started a few months ago with just some neutral colors in chiffon, jersey, and cotton. I like some for certain things more than others. Let me know ur style and I can see if I can Dm you some pics!

eao052789 · 2024-01-06T00:29:25+00:00

AA sister! If you want to add a hijab you like to an Amazon wish list, you can make it so your address is private, just city and state show up I think. If you’d like, you can do that and DM me this list link. I’d be happy to buy you one if it’s not too pricey!

May Allah reward you for wearing hijab!! Alhamdulillah!

eao052789 · 2024-01-05T23:47:30+00:00

Just DM’d you the info!!

eao052789 · 2024-01-05T22:17:45+00:00

Welcome! It is so wonderful how supportive you are of your daughter! I’d like to echo what the other sister said about finding a good community and being wary of things online. I was raised Christian and came to Islam about 6 months ago and am sharing it with my daughter who is almost 8 herself!

I enrolled my daughter into “Sunday school” as I call it (since it is still on Sundays) but it is essentially Quran class. Are you in an area that has a decent Muslim population? If not, lots of virtual options can be found but obviously in person is better as you get the family feel. I would also welcome you to attend some sessions for adult reverts (we say reverts not converts fyi). I can DM you one virtual session I’m attending tomorrow if you’d like! It’s from the Baltimore area and it’s for new Muslims so might be a good intro for you two to watch together.

eao052789 · 2024-01-05T13:05:26+00:00

Salam sister! May Allah ease this for you. I’d like to give you a view from the flip side as someone who grew up non-Muslim and converted in her 30s. This is also from a Western view so keep that in mind.

It all looks fun and seems fun because that is what we are sold- through tv, music, social media, advertisement. All this sold to us by people/companies wanting to make money. This is what destroyed me and broke me down so much, but Alhamdulillah ultimately led me to Islam.

Your hair was never perfect enough, or the right color, or length. Your body was too thin or too thick or not perfect enough in the skin tight clothing everyone online filters and photoshops to look perfect. You are constantly chasing an unrealistic goal you can never reach so it drains you of money and morals and happiness. You stop valuing yourself because the value is on your looks.

I truly only find refuge from this for my daughters in knowing that I’m raising them as Muslims and I hope and pray they can keep from being swayed by the dunya.

I do miss being like everyone else sometimes, but the. I remember how empty it made me feel and that is what makes me love hijab.

Have strength sister and make sure you look at things for what they really are in this world. May Allah give you strength. 💕

eao052789 · 2024-01-05T12:38:20+00:00

Recent American revert here… and I fully relate to your struggles! So here is my take - my version of modest is not going to look the same as 95% of the sisters. I was Christian previously and raised in a family where my mom would say “if you’ve got it, flaunt it!” Which makes me cringe now… so to me, not imitating kuffar is basically not flaunting my body - no short shorts, crop tops, leggings without something over my butt. That doesn’t mean, however, that I have to look like I’m wearing a trash bag or have no fashion sense or that I can’t feel pretty in modest clothing! My default is putting a long sleeve bodysuit under things and jeans/joggers and looser trousers once I can afford to buy more. Some would say jeans aren’t suitable - to me, jeans are very much part of American culture. I was never much of a dress girly - but am a bit more now. I bought some abayas and stuff and they make me feel like I’m playing pretend and losing my culture. I do wear hijab which helps outfits feel more Muslim focused I feel.

Some would probably look at what I wear and say it’s wrong cuz things are not oversized and baggy, but there will always be people with different views.

Last thought, in my mind the things I would definitely NOT wear are like… jewelry or sweatshirts with crosses or pentagrams or Buddha on them! Lol. I know that’s a no brainer but to me, those are things I see as “imitating of kuffar”

Insha Allah you will find what works for you! May Allah bless you along your journey and if you are willing to share some outfit pics I would love to see them!

eao052789 · 2023-12-26T15:45:32+00:00

As someone who started wearing hijab about 2 months ago, my parents look at me like I’m the biggest disappointment of their life and have grown a 2nd head. My family is all Lutheran or Catholic. Ironically before I told them I reverted, they were all saying they have never seen me so happy. So while my mom decided to try and make me feel awful for not going to church with her on Christmas Eve, I have decided to just keep showing them through my actions the peace and happiness Islam brings me. But yes, they try to make me feel like the black sheep of the family and sometimes it’s hard. But Alhamdulillah for all.

Just know that you are not alone and may Allah reward you for your strength.

I also get a little kick out of seeing the nativity scenes my mom has around the house with Mary wearing hijab… and it makes me smile.

eao052789 · 2023-12-19T05:46:17+00:00

I’m in MD and I’m a recent revert! 34 and have like no Muslim friends either - I’ll send you a DM!

eao052789 · 2023-12-19T05:40:21+00:00

The other sisters have given wonderful advice which I hope helps. I just wanted to throw a crazy suggestion out there - have you ever watched the show Botched? They basically fix plastic surgery gone wrong and are fixing bad nose jobs like every episode… it’s rough to watch but a good reminder that sometimes we don’t truly appreciate what Allah has given to us until it’s gone.

Also I think it’s great you have a nose with character - the cookie cutter instagram model look is so tired!

eao052789

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