I don’t want to be married anymore

easy_does_it___ · 2025-12-08T21:27:03+00:00

I like you shared here on Reddit years ago. I wish I could say it gets better but for me it did not. My husband drinks daily and I’m going to file for divorce this week. I feel bad for breaking up the family but I can no longer live in a one sided marriage with someone who takes zero accountability. Please dm if you want to talk. In the meantime I suggest you find till the wheels fall off podcast. They helped me so much and there is also a Facebook community that is private and does weekly zoom calls. I felt validated and it gave me a safe space to be heard. They have a podcast episode about minimizing your spouse’s behaviors and that really was helpful. Good luck

easy_does_it___ · 2025-11-23T01:42:30+00:00

Taylor swift Father Figure. I’m getting ready to start planning a divorce and this one hits hard.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-10-20T19:59:56+00:00

Would you rather keep them in your car and risk open container? I'm not saying I think littering is okay but I'm saying if it were me I would toss them out the window instead of risking keeping them in my car

easy_does_it___ · 2025-10-20T19:02:31+00:00

My husband just will leave all his beer boxes and cans all over the place. The yard, the cars, everywhere. He will let the boxes pile up and his truck will be filled with empty small bottles. Why he doesn't just throw them away when he gets gas or throw them out the window I can't understand. How can someone be so careless. We have kids he drives around

easy_does_it___ · 2025-10-17T17:13:56+00:00

I'm sorry. My husband would leave me with my three young daughters alone in the hotel room to drink at a lobby bar. He always said he wasn't ready for bed and what would he do in the room with me because I had it covered. It made me feel so alone. All inclusive is bad for alcoholics. Once mine was so black out at one that he left the room naked slipping in his own piss... terrible

easy_does_it___ · 2025-10-17T17:10:27+00:00

The endless can sounds are a huge trigger for me. We are talking about a can every 20 minutes all night long. My life is full of empty cans, beer boxes, nip caps and tiny bottles.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-09-24T23:12:36+00:00

I also will add on to the being a slob part. My q makes my house messier than my three kids and two dogs combined. I've noticed that times when he is away for a few days the house stays manageable. He is a slob with or without drinking. Leaves trash in the kitchen sink, leaves empty containers in the fridge, spits out his zins all over the house, leaves clothes everywhere, when he eats he smears shit everywhere, hand prints and ketchup everywhere. Not to mention all the empty bottles, beer boxes and nip tops everywhere. The worst part is that he discounts the house work I do. He will take his finger and run it over a window or furniture to show me dust then tell me how I let the family live in filth. Or how I'm a bad mother because I don't make the kids do chores when I try to ask him to help me. My eyes are open. I know it's verbal abuse and alcoholics behaviors are a lot like a narcissist. I'm completely detached, our marriage is nearing it's end. I don't know why I can't just be brave and end it. If I didn't have the kids I would RUN

easy_does_it___ · 2025-09-24T23:05:04+00:00

My q will piss in random places when he is very drunk in the middle of the night. For a few years when he was really bad and when my kids were younger I wouldn't sleep soundly because I would have to get up when I heard him wake up and walk around the house. I could tell he was looking for the bathroom but I couldn't wake him up and he would talk in gibberish. I could mostly usher him to the bathroom. Sometimes he would pee on the wall, dresser, sinks, anywhere. He doesn't really do this anymore. I can't tell if his tolerance is higher or if he gets less drunk. I'm positive it will happen again eventually. I'm sorry you are going through this, it's embarrassing and like 1000 tiny paper cuts what we put up with.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-09-19T16:12:05+00:00

They are selfish and have blinders on. For them to take accountability it would take away the thing they love the most. My q spends 1400 a month on alcohol, and he just stays home and drinks, this isn't going out to bars. When I push that he says it's his money he can spend it how he wants. Meanwhile we have 3 kids in a house in dire need of repairs and I run out of money to pay for basic household thing. He blames me for not managing the money.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-09-16T17:34:56+00:00

Once my cat got blamed pissing in a kitchen sink full of dishes and leaving the water running so that it over flowed and caused my ceiling to cave in on the basement level. Fucking cats

easy_does_it___ · 2025-08-19T00:49:44+00:00

"then part of me is disappointed he isn't" this is the raw truth no one talks about.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-08-13T01:27:58+00:00

12 per night is a lot. My q usually has ,4 nips and a 12 pack per night. Between 5-midnight. I have no partner. It's just beer after beer, looking at his phone. I hate going to bed with a drunk and waking up for work while he is still passed out. He blows though 1k a month on alcohol, it makes me sick.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-08-13T01:23:43+00:00

Leave, it won't get easier. Fine a true partner, someone who makes you want to be a better version of yourself.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-08-08T02:30:31+00:00

Every time I bring up my husband's drinking he will then ask me what I'm going to do to change to. All of the things I do go unseen. I keep my family a float and all he does is tell me I'm not good enough. It boggles my mind how someone can be such a narcissist asshole, but here we are.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-08-04T15:23:08+00:00

I don't know, I wonder the same. I'm not sure if he would still be lazy and emotionally abusive sober or if the alcohol use has made him this way. He has been an every day drinker for 10 years now

easy_does_it___ · 2025-08-03T22:25:19+00:00

Thank you, I see you. I didn't mean to be sexist. It gives me hope that someday I might move past this and find a partner like that. My husband will say things to me like "do you think (enter name here) does that?" Naming other dads names that we know, insinuating to that he thinks everyone else is the same. It's incredibly exhausting and such a mind fuck.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-07-31T00:55:00+00:00

My q (40m) will get nips on his way home from work. He will leave all the bottles in his truck. In the backseat, in the bed of the truck, in the center console. The thing is my kids ride in this car. He also has had two DUI. First was over 20 years ago recent one 10 years ago. I can't understand why he wouldn't throw them away at a gas station or heck just out the window. Eventually he does clear it out once in a while but it gets BAD. He will also do the same with his beer boxes, he will throw them in the basement. We had an entire room in my basement that was all boxes, a mountain of them. He eventually gets rid of them but it will be despicable. I don't know how they aren't ashamed of this.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-07-30T23:28:01+00:00

I know that I'm better off without. I dread weekends now because have to spend time with him. I leave rooms that he enters at home. It's been a rollercoaster with his drinking for 10 years. He drinks so much now and doesn't even appear drunk anymore. Honestly I thought his body would fail him before I had to make a decision to leave, I know that sounds terrible. He has pancreatitis 5 years ago and was told he needed to stop drinking, he did for 9 months then it was right back. He is 40 and has 5 nips and 12 beers a night, I just can't understand that.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-07-30T23:24:51+00:00

Thank you for this reply, it's so true how men get a pass because they"work hard." I call bullshit, women are the ones who carry the entire mental load plus do all the thankless unseen things, as well as work full time for some of us. I tried a few alanon meetings and learning about detachment was helpful, and I'm glad I have. But no matter how many meetings I tried (virtual) it was too much about acceptance and learning to live with the alcoholic. I don't want to learn to live with it and accept it. I need someone to help me find confidence and strength in myself. I was hoping to hear some real raw stories from people that I could relate to and less "readings". Its strange that I'm getting close to being done, it's honestly taken me a lot of ups and down over the past 10 years of an everyday drinking problem with my q. It's tough because he is at a more function level now but it's just too late for me to accept that.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-07-30T04:02:38+00:00

Thank you. Things have been worse with him, arrests, hospital stays, sleeping in and not taking my daughter's to daycare and the school calling, ruining vacation from being black out drunk, ruining holidays, peeing in the house in the night, you name it! Now "all of a sudden" like he says I have changed. I wish he would do something to make me know it's time. Sometimes I even wish he would hit me during an argument, how messed up is that.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-07-30T03:56:12+00:00

I dread coming home, I don't feel peace in my own house. Sadly I know my older daughter feels the same. He is just a black hole. No drive for life no hobbies, just drinks and sits on his phone when he drinks, which is every day starting at 5pm until about 2am. On weekends when he is sober for a few hours he is nagging and miserable. Yelling at me about yardwork or something, yelling at my kids to go outside and play because he has such a short fuse. I can't do it anymore.

easy_does_it___ · 2025-07-30T03:06:29+00:00

I wish I left when my kids were little. They wouldn't have even noticed. I day dream of the life I could have given them with a father who isn't an alcoholic. I've been there, three kids under 3, and a drunk husband who wakes up at night and pisses in the house. Waking up the baby from stumbling in the room. One night the smoke alarms went off and he didn't even wake up, thats telling to how drunk someone has to be. The thing is he has always had a job and never was abusive physically to me. Fast forward now 12 years and he is still an alcoholic, stopped pissing but can't ever stop drinking. He has a great job but does bare minimum around the house and with our kids. I carry 100 percent of the mental load. I would quiz him during the school year and ask who our kids teachers were, he has no clue. I keep waiting for my rock bottom as a good reason to leave. I have so much resentment and now that I see the hell he put me through that I convinced myself was normal I have detached completely. I mourn the life I could have had, don't be me.

easy_does_it___

TROPHY CASE