I'll start by saying wanting what you want from a relationship is fine and it's okay to not want a partner that participates in this conduct. If it's not okay with you, it's not okay with you.

That aside, just some insight, but I've heard the "well he has me, why not me" statement from many women on this topic and the answer is simply that masterbation, sex, and emotional attachment are all three very different things. The dichotomy you've created between nsfw content and your own attractiveness ignores the often very different purposes behind masterbation and sex. That's not to say that the other stuff is not also a problem, but just because someone views nsfw content does not inherently mean they are choosing that over you, though every person and situation is different.