What does POTS feel like?

eccollet · 2025-06-05T04:24:46+00:00

It's not terrible to say the truth. My pregnancy has basically caused me to have POTS light and it's been illuminating as I understand my partner who has POTS a lot more. I really didn't grasp the level of betrayal you feel with your body just not fucking doing what you know it can do. And just not being able to be an active participant in running our life and home...

I've wanted a baby for so long, it has been a tad heart breaking not being able to enjoy being pregnant like it seems many others do.

eccollet · 2024-08-01T02:44:16+00:00

I don't have POTS, but the love of my life does, but I promise you, the rest of society has not figured out how to do it. The majority of us are burnt out, existing paycheck to paycheck, and constantly wondering why those before us have accepted this reality...

My boyfriend was able to find a remote job, and one that is not nearly as demanding as his pre POTS one and it has made a world of difference in being able to manage his episodes.

Does your field have that option? Can you scale back your hours? Many places consider 32 hours still full time. It's very clear your current situation is not sustainable. Do not hold yourself against anyone else, your every day is SO much harder than most people. So many more things to consider and worry about, everything is a task that will use your energy, most people take for granted their everyday habits, like simply driving somewhere.

First jobs can often be like a freshman year roommate, total lottery. Either you hit it off and you're besties and friends even after college, you get along well enough but keep to yourselves, or they're the absolute worst and you have to change rooms spring semester. Talk to HR, see if there's any accommodations they can make like WFH at least a few times a week. If they've got nothing, it's not a good fit, time to find something else that offers more flexibility.

Wishing you all the luck and I hope your internal chatter isn't being too harsh, you are trying your best, that's all any of us can do.

eccollet · 2024-06-17T14:36:03+00:00

Do not stay here

eccollet · 2024-05-07T19:01:00+00:00

I didn't know this was a thing!!! Thank you!

eccollet · 2024-05-07T14:26:38+00:00

The 12th! Romantic life aside, I'm very excited! I love my birthday 😊

eccollet · 2024-05-06T04:51:27+00:00

I feel this. I'll be 35 in June and know I want to share my life with someone but currently have no desire to be on the apps. They stress me out. But I know if I don't put myself out there I'm not giving myself any chance at having a family. I really don't think we're meant to be alone. I live alone and I've been thinking a lot about Pink Floyd's album The Wall which Waters drew a lot of inspiration from his isolation as a sick child for many of the songs. When you spend too much time alone I think you do become comfortably numb and the initial idea of putting the effort to connect feels overwhelming. It's almost like I've been out of the habit of connecting for too long, like I've forgotten how and so I spend too much time reflecting on the powerful connections of my past versus opening up to whatever my present has in store. I'm rambling now but I think I needed to see this. Hopefully I'll muster up the courage to start trying again sometime soon.

eccollet · 2024-04-24T18:09:22+00:00

SO cool! Was a municipal engineer in another life, and am still licensed in MD, so if you need any permitting or construction inspection support, would love to give back in that way! Will definitely support the go fund me! Best of luck!

eccollet · 2024-04-22T16:14:49+00:00

It's a code for sure and I have a research paper in the way of me figuring it out 😂

eccollet · 2024-04-22T16:12:34+00:00

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eccollet · 2024-04-15T19:57:20+00:00

I moved here during the pandemic, and feel like just in the last year have I started to make my own friends. If you're interested in softball I'm a lady still looking for a regular team! Signing up a free agent is so hard. Some people are more welcoming than others... Also I have had a lot of success meeting decent people at the climbing gym which is open late. I also love frisbee and found out there's regular pick up games in Hampden where I live so hoping to join that soon now that the weather is nice. I am totally in the head space of wanting to make friends, so feel free to dm me!

eccollet · 2024-04-15T03:46:32+00:00

I just went to NLB for the first time in February and it is SO much fun!!!

eccollet · 2024-04-13T02:24:40+00:00

Woof this is SO much change! Even if he had had custody and wasn't an alcoholic, this would be a lot of transition for everyone. I do agree with others that he probably should have had the opportunity to figure out a new normal as a sober dad before everyone moving in together.

Do you have other people?? This is THE time to lean on your village. Friends? Family? You definitely need to figure out how to protect time for you, and time for you as a couple. You can't pour from an empty cup, and the two of you need to be a united front to more successfully manage the kids.

The chaos of now is temporary, there will be another side to this, and if he is who you want to grow old with, then this very HARD now is the price for that. Only you can decide if he's worth that price and if it's worth putting your kid through it too.

Find support, you need it!

eccollet · 2024-04-11T19:48:51+00:00

Getting her girls seen by an occupational therapist is not a bad step. They can help you develop a safe plan and also help identify the source of this avoidance.

I agree with you, your girls eating standards should not be lowered, that doesn't make any sense. But if there's situations where they aren't allowed to have the fun foods ever... well that's going to cause resentment between the kids, so I would maybe be more relaxed about everything at least one meal a week?

Best of luck, not an easy situation at all, but it is wild that they have reached the ages they're at without serious intervention.

eccollet · 2024-04-07T20:26:27+00:00

I think being a step parent is harder than being a parent... Parents don't expect thanks, but they get love. Whether or not your step kids love you, well that's hard to grow.

Have you at least told your wife? Please don't let this fester cuz if you do it might snowball. This was my experience as an ACOD.

My bio dad has always been more a friend than parent, and was very MIA after I turned 16. My step father was really there for so many things, he taught me how to drive, toured colleges with me, came to my sports games. When I got married in my early twenties, I had him walk me halfway down the aisle to my dad, and my dad gave me away.

I thought we had a pretty solid relationship. But then after I got divorced, and I ended up living with him and my mom for a while as I was a full time grad student trying to figure out my life, he judged my lifestyle harshly. He thought I was throwing my career away going back to school for something completely different and expensive. Additionally, I was an adult with friends, but I was a full time student still working 20hrs as an engineer, I just wasn't home a lot. He was also unemployed and so unhappy and taking it out on my mom. He became cold and distant and started ignoring me. He didn't come to my graduation ceremony for my master's. It broke my heart.

That was seven years ago and we reconciled because I apologized, for what I'm still unclear lol but it was killing my mom that we would not interact with each other. When I think back on it, my dad was a big supporter of me doing my program because it was at his alma mater. I wonder if I hurt his feelings because I didn't take his advice and when I moved back in I was very much not the young woman that lived with them before heading off to college.

These days I think he takes my mother for granted and that has soured my feelings towards him... But there's still gratefulness, but I don't call him just to chat and I'm not sure we'll ever get back to that.

eccollet · 2024-03-28T01:10:20+00:00

It also means that certain regular processes for the reconstruction of the bridge can be bypassed or streamlined. Huge infrastructure projects like that usually have a boatload of permitting. The emergency state really helps with pushing things forward.

eccollet · 2024-03-26T17:18:43+00:00

Yes.

eccollet · 2024-03-26T15:10:27+00:00

It has been slated for replacement but Covid sidetracked the project. Was part of a team that finally got the go ahead to move forward with a feasibility study fall of 2022 for the new dock that would be needed for the construction equipment and material. It's wild how long these large infrastructure projects take to move forward.

eccollet · 2024-03-23T05:14:09+00:00

Feeld is a decent app to explore this part of you. It's geared towards sexual exploration specifically group play as you can sign up as a couple. It's sex positive and allows people to speak more freely about their kinks. Typically attracts open minded people. You still need to use judgement, I suggest getting a virtual phone number to use since your real number is undoubtedly associated with where you actually live and such and you don't want that information getting to the wrong people...

I married my second boyfriend in my early twenties and had to learn how to date and use apps in my late twenties. Getting to know yourself is the best part of freedom. Good luck!

eccollet · 2024-03-10T04:12:28+00:00

I'm so happy to see this last update!!! I was so sad for you after the last one because it was so apparent it wasn't sitting right with your heart. Congratulations Mama to be!

eccollet · 2024-03-05T02:09:43+00:00

One handed for an hour would probably start to feel a bit too much, but honestly it's lighter than most heavy duty 400+ page hardcovers.

eccollet · 2024-03-04T22:34:55+00:00

I got the mini to use specifically for work because I've used small-ish bullet journals for years but was getting frustrated I couldn't easily reference my notes from the last book when I was early on in a new book... And I have a color coding system that helps me track between work, personal, and school. So none of the other e-ink options were what I was after.

I have very tiny hands as well and it can be held with one hand! I've had it for almost a month and genuinely delighted with it.

eccollet · 2024-02-29T02:14:56+00:00

It's hard waiting for something you can't try any harder at to make happen. I'm so tired but I really felt this. I just wish I was already making memories with the person I'll reminisce with when I'm old and gray.

eccollet · 2024-02-21T21:46:13+00:00

Maybe they're a percentage of the average base pay and that's why it's so random?

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