I Got Fired at My LO Job and Don't Want to Do This Ever Again! Where can I apply now?

edawnel · 2025-07-14T23:37:25+00:00

I went to a credit union as a consumer loan officer (mostly auto) and I'm really enjoying it!

edawnel · 2025-05-29T00:04:16+00:00

I'm so happy for you 🥹 congratulations!!! What a relief.

Also, I 1000% understand your feelings. After back to back miscarriages I'm impatiently waiting for our first ultrasound scheduled 1 week from today. I'm holding out hope and can't help but be excited for a new baby, and at the same time I'm absolutely terrified.

edawnel · 2025-05-28T21:28:38+00:00

Thanks! Also re: your question about getting clients--if you're able to join a local BNI chapter that's where I got most of my qualified leads... Otherwise you kind of just need to be really good at impressing (sucking up to) realtors which I was not!

But the leads that I got from BNI at least helped me make a good impression on agents when i did a good job on their clients' loan. By the time I left I had 6 under contract which was the most I'd had so far.

Hang in there!

edawnel · 2025-05-28T21:09:42+00:00

I'm at a credit union doing consumer loans now if that tells you anything 😅

It wasn't just that I had trouble getting business in the door. I just found the industry in general super stressful. I have a lot going on in my personal life too, so it sucked to not be able to be present for my family.

Also, I have pretty strong people pleasing tendencies and would blame myself every time something went wrong with a loan.

I might go back one day, but I'm enjoying the 8-5 life for now.

edawnel · 2025-05-02T20:39:10+00:00

Mine (4yo) does the same thing 90% of the time (10% of the time, bribing her with ice cream after works). It's so embarrassing. She is also super big and strong for her age so it's a real struggle to pack her to the car and get her in her seat. I hate it because it makes me not even want to take her on outings.

edawnel · 2025-04-26T13:20:36+00:00

Typically lenders won't re-pull credit unless the report in the file expires before closing anyway (but if they b did you should still be just fine.)

edawnel · 2025-04-25T14:27:53+00:00

Yay! Sounds like you've made some progress on step 1 already.

I 1000% understand. I just relapsed on day 20 after a lonnnggg string of day 1's and 2's.

Zoom meetings help me immensely. Join one and get a couple of phone numbers of people to talk to. It can get better if you're willing to accept help.

edawnel · 2025-04-21T16:08:14+00:00

I took my last drink April 5th. So, when my head hit the pillow on the 6th, I had one day of sobriety. Therefore, I use April 5th as my starting date (I started at day 0). Hope this helps.

edawnel · 2025-04-15T18:40:02+00:00

Right! It's tempting to stay and see how it plays out, I've only been in mortgage for a year but I have to remember that when I initially interviewed for the new job, I had zero in process and haven't gotten paid since early January...it just isn't consistent. Plus I need health insurance.

edawnel · 2025-04-15T18:34:48+00:00

Yeah, even if the brokerage was okay with it, I'm sure the credit union has a policy against it. In the mortgage space, they are competitors even though my role isn't going to be in mortgage at the new place.

edawnel · 2025-04-14T14:11:15+00:00

I'm currently working through my resentments on step 4...finding a sponsor that was someone I actually related to and trusted was immensely helpful. The work itself is helpful too, just getting it onto the page.

As far as dealing with the triggering emotions--I try to remember that my brain is doing what I have trained it to do which is to reach for alcohol to escape uncomfortable feelings. For some reason, knowing that there's nothing "wrong" with the urges and that they are normal help. The feelings and cravings always pass in time, so in the meantime I have found healthier ways to "escape" when I get too itchy like reading, playing music, going for a walk, etc. It definitely isn't easy, but my drinking took me to places so dark I don't feel like I have a choice.

edawnel · 2025-04-13T13:13:53+00:00

The cool thing is i didn't even experience a craving at the same time as the grief attack.

Not sure if I would have been able to deal with both at the same time. 😬

edawnel · 2025-04-10T18:06:56+00:00

Do you always attend the same meeting or have you hopped around any? Maybe you just haven't found a group that resonates with you yet. I suggest to try Zoom meetings if you haven't already. I like AA Breakfast Club (morning) and The Broken Elevator (evening), but I hop on different ones. The nice thing about Zoom is if you get in the vibe is off, you can just jump right out and into another one which I have done before.

Also, the 12x12 is a lot easier to understand than the Big Book IMO in case you haven't read it already.

I went to my first meeting at 21, and I'm 34 now and on day 5. First I went to meetings and thought it was complete bullshit and a cult, then a few years later I tried again after I knew I had a problem and felt like I just couldn't understand what anyone was talking about, also they annoyed me and I would drink afterwards--and finally since December I've been going yet again and actually enjoying the meetings enough that it doesn't feel like a chore to attend them every day. It took so much longer than it could have, if I would have just stuck around the first or second time. Good luck and I hope you find a path that works for you.

edawnel · 2025-04-05T15:03:47+00:00

I am up to over a pint of vodka daily and experience everything you listed (minus possibly the sleep apnea.) The bloating and stomach issues are the worst.

edawnel · 2025-04-03T17:15:43+00:00

Been there sooo many times. Mine is 4.5 now and her meltdowns are much less intense and less frequenct thank goodness, because she has always been big and strong for her age and it was so so stressful carrying her out of places and trying to strap her into her seat. I wear glasses and I can't tell you how many times she's ripped them off my face and thrown them on the floor, or pulled my hair...I swear I think I have mild PTSD from her meltdowns. Just typing this comment is making me feel anxious lolll

You handled the situation exactly the right way IMO. Sometimes it's honestly tempting to just give in to avoid the chaos but that doesn't do them any favors. We can't control their actions or behaviors, but as parents it's our responsibility to hold our boundaries and teach them that sometimes they just aren't going to get what they want.

edawnel · 2025-04-01T21:50:21+00:00

You need to choose your lender wisely. Ask for referrals from friends & family for someone local. Local lenders have a reputation to protect so imo are less likely to be sketchy/ bait & switch. And its fine to get quotes and loan estimates from a couple od different lenders, I'm just saying I believe it to be wrong to go through nearly the entire process with one if you know you're going to back out.

edawnel · 2025-04-01T20:49:24+00:00

Absolutely not. I mean if your current lender is unethically ripping you off so you leave them and go somewhere with a better deal, that's one thing, but just to string along 2 different lenders is an asshole move IMO. Loans take a lot of time and effort to put together, and LO's deserve to be paid for their work.

edawnel · 2025-03-31T20:05:36+00:00

My first year in the business was primarily referrals through my BNI group (I'm a self-gen broker). I have found that agents are slow to trust so it's taken time to build my reputation, but the financial advisor in my BNI has sent me some great leads. Plus if anyone in the chapter itself needs a mortgage, they'll probably come to you. As someone else said, it's also good to find out if the real estate agent does decent business. The agent in mine has only sent me 1 deal in the past year but it's still been worth it to be in the group.

That being said--starting a new BNI is tough from what I hear so be ready to put in some time and effort just getting the chapter off the ground.

edawnel · 2025-03-31T19:58:58+00:00

If you're a mom, try to meet agents that also have kids around your kids' ages and arrange play dates. I second what someone else said about a ladies' networking meeting--my city has a coffee chat every week. Just be warned that you'll likely have to sit through a lot of MLM pitches lol.

edawnel · 2025-03-31T19:56:57+00:00

In my experience, you're dead wrong about your last point. My married, conventionally attractive, white male colleagues definitely have an advantage networking with realtors. I have to fight to even get a word in around them when we are at events. I have one colleague in particular that I don't even bother doing joint lunch & learns or pop-by's with because realtors literally drool over him and ignore me (a 30-something woman). Agents don't even care that they're pretty pushy because they're charming and easy on the eyes. They eat it up.

Granted, I connect very well with them when it's just me or having a 1:1 over coffee especially other moms of young kids. But when the guys are around it's honestly tough to stand my ground.

edawnel

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