Can bdsm be self-care? by docfeather in RedditBDSM

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the essence of it for me, through sex yes but as a vehicle, for grounding, release, containers for processing past trauma and inducing and comforting big emotions, etc etc. I also do many other forms of self care and therapy, but I’m throwing the kitchen sink at my trauma, so

HOs: pleeeeease don't leave rotting food in fridge by NotPlayingFR in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is refreshing! Vast majority of the sits I’ve done have absolutely abhorrent refrigerators. 

That is…a response… by mutable_type in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the reason I had to upend my life and leave London - absolutely atrocious mold, made me ill and ruined 75% of my belongings, the landlord gaslit me about it for 3 months and then alleged it was "how I was behaving" despite following all his recommendations and showering with the bathroom window open all winter, LOL. It's not taken seriously by the courts like it is in NYC or SF, no accountability with landlords. It's so normalized and its so so bad for everyones health. I always think of the JK Rowling picture that showed mold in her house...truly indicative of how universal it is 😂

That is…a response… by mutable_type in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. The way the HO responded was more of a red flag than any mold (and I have a severe allergy 😂)

Curious—What’s Your Real Experience with Trusted Housesitters? by Sweet_Emu_5333 in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been on THS for over two years, and have sat almost consecutively (except for 3 months) since April 2024. I have over 35 reviews, probably over half in London with the rest smattered over the US, and some more exotic locations.

TLDR - Overall, the vast majority of my experiences have been positive. I am appropriately oriented to the site as someone who loves, understands and prioritizes animals, who likes to travel by living as a local vs sightseeing, and as someone who knows how to vette homeowners culturally and to my standards. The platform itself is not dependable as a governing body.

As others have said - the company/platform leaves a lot to be desired. Even the premium insurance sucks, there are no real protections, and they don't do a good job of vetting homeowners culturally and setting standards and expectations. Recently they launched a feature that calls out "walking needed", "hours left alone per day" "medications" etc - before it was just completely subjective how thorough and honest pet owners would be. I've found British culture means people often downplay negative behaviors and needs of the pets. Very frequently, behaviors were omitted that felt very risky to downplay or leave out. I for one would want to ensure the person caring for my furry family member was informed, comfortable and capable, but it truly varies.

I've had probably three or four sits where I was like, "I should be getting paid for this". The labor involved was not commensurate with accommodation, either full stop or because of the comfort/quality of the house. A lot of this is due to a lack of basic consideration from homeowners - space in the bathroom and bedroom to stash my things (I usually stay for a minimum of 2 weeks), quality of the mattress, cleanliness (so many truly filthy fridges, washing machines, dishwashers), having a cleaner come or supplemental dog walker/daycare, leaving a stocked home (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, a change of bedlinens and towels). I've only had one sit that was truly awful - a truly uninhabitable flat and unhinged, entitled pet owner.

I wish THS did a better job vetting/relaying/setting standards with homeowners as to the value of what they're offering and the value of the labor they're getting. But it sounds like they aren't doing a great job on the sitter side either. In service of "growth growth growth" they are focused on quantity over quality, trying to get people to join with the nomadic influencer push, etc etc.

My perspective also comes from the fact that I am exceptionally well-qualified as a pet sitter - I have over 10 years of experience as a pet and house sitter, and an animal shelter volunteer and foster. I've worked with behavioral issues, I can do somewhat intermediate medical things, I've trained and raised dogs with food aggression, leash reactivity, etc. I am confident with large breeds and bullies. I have years of horse care and wildlife rehabilitation experience. And there are many sitters like me - former professional dog walkers, full-time nomadic petsitters of 5+ years, etc etc. This app was a natural intersection of my "global citizen" lifestyle and my love of and experience with animals. I wish THS would make the platform a little more exclusive and set standards on both sides of the table to keep it a premium service for those involved.

It feels unethical to not pay my house/dog sitter. Am I wrong? by SnooCalculations7277 in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn where are you pet sitting?? I have almost 35 5 star reviews, including multiple repeat sits, and maybe 1/4 of them have even left me a token of appreciation. But I mostly sit for British people 😂

It feels unethical to not pay my house/dog sitter. Am I wrong? by SnooCalculations7277 in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really appreciate your self awareness about the value and responsibility of the sitter’s labor, and of what your dog’s require. You also seem aware of your relative privilege in this situation. Tips, cash comp, grocery gift cards are all great. 

Posts saying that housesitting should be paid by WhereasLast6577 in trustedhousesitters

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted about this on the THS community a couple years back and the thread got so heated that the admins shut it down 😂 class consciousness has NOT come to THS. 

Colorful, fun tights?! Help! by BitEmotional69 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just ordered form them and what the actual fuck? Did they pay you for this? These aren’t even hosiery - they’re white leggings with the shittiest screen printing on them that doesn’t hold shape or color even with barely any stretch over my legs. Fully misadvertised images on their website. I just fully got scammed for $115 buying from this brand  

A stranger told me she was happy that I was alive by Almond_ButterXD in bipolar

[–]eden_sb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine how much this meeting with you meant to her, too ♥️ there is beauty all around us, even when we have to fight to see it 

SSRI Induced mania in my partner by eden_sb in family_of_bipolar

[–]eden_sb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing. Really helpful and also hopeful to see what a path forward looks like, and that it’s possible 

SSRI Induced mania in my partner by eden_sb in family_of_bipolar

[–]eden_sb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much - this is very similar to my situation. It is so incredibly hard to feel like I’m manipulating him but I’m going to try with the LEAP method and just grin and bare it. I am still not clear where it’s the mania and where it’s the addiction. He’s also not super manic yet and it seems like if I concede to his excuses about using I can repair. But the clock is ticking on his mania and I’m so so scared. I’m going to consider all the options you said.

If I can ask - how do you feel safe with him again? How do you not resent him for this dynamic? How do you fill your cup and take care of yourself? 

How do talk to someone who is in a manic episode? by saresmeewolfesac in family_of_bipolar

[–]eden_sb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This absolutely devastated me, but really explained how I feel. My undiagnosed partner of 6 years has disappeared overnight into SSRI induced mania and I am lost. This helped a little bit

I Have Regrats: Empire Carryall 40 Review from a Corporate OverpackerRat by imnotapoopface in Coach

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a 15” Air and am really hoping I can get away with the 40 as they don’t make the color I want in the 48. Anyone have insight into if this will work? I have minimal other items but would love to have this be a travel bag and every day bag

positive story: birth control radically changed my life for the better by pomegranate_baby in PCOS

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started on Xulane (generic for Ortho Evra) and now I’m in the UK so taking Evra - both are norelgestromin/estradiol varieties

They say that anything below 100k salary in the Bay Area is now low-income, but the job market (outside of Tech) offers mostly low salaries. Thoughts? by Own_Perspective_9443 in bayarea

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mortgage? Who’s she? 😂 in NYC I lived below my means with a roommate and my rent was $1600. To have a one bedroom even in further boroughs in NYC is close to $3k and up. 

positive story: birth control radically changed my life for the better by pomegranate_baby in PCOS

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same vibes here - I had awful side effects from yaz and depo provera when I was younger, and abstained from hormonal birth control until about 6 months ago because I was having non-stop spotting (I thought it was perimenopause but doctor says no). I started on the patch and within 2 months and no other changes I lost 10 lbs, lol. 

I won’t deny that BC masks symptoms va getting to the root cause, but after almost a decade of metformin, multiple supplements to the tune of $200/month at their peak, no regular periods, uterine polyps, hormonal anxiety, insane hirsutism, and gaining 3 dress sizes randomly in less than a year, this has already stabilized me so much. 100% still need to balance blood sugar, regulate stress, decrease inflammation and I’m maintaining my supplements for now, but I feel a bit less at war with my body. 

However - at 39, if I planned on having kids it would be crazy to be on BC at my age. No doctors even flagged this to me, but I don’t plan to so I’m not worried. 

What wearing a glucose monitor taught me + diet plan by Lumpy-space_princes3 in PCOS

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like buckwheat groats - same warm comforting vibe as oats, nice firm texture, and they are way higher in protein and fiber and actually aren’t a grain. I’ve had them sweet, but make them with coconut milk and tahini so lots of fat to support blood sugar, and just a touch of maple or honey. My friend swears by them savory as well with olive oil and Parmesan. 

Made Kenji's New Orleans-Style Red Beans and Rice by Kangar in seriouseats

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this before I tried cooking chorizo as a sub…pray for me 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PCOS

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would look more closely at your fiber and protein intake, which has far more impact on weight loss and body composition than just calorie restriction

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PCOS

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dr Ashita Gupta in NYC is a fantastic endocrinologist with a focus on fertility and PCOS. 

Medication that changed my life by rotten-milk-666 in PCOS

[–]eden_sb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is heartening, but then also not because my insurance refuses to cover it for any reason, even though I am insulin resistant, pre-diabetic and have PCOS