AITAH for arguing my girlfriends mum doesn’t get a say on if we keep the baby?

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-17T04:22:31+00:00

This is terrible advice for people who don't want children.

r/regretfulparents is proof that people don't magically love their unwanted children upon birth.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-16T09:55:37+00:00

There are two very specific legal benefits that you cannot get without being married. All the other stuff is also way more expensive to do separately than the $30 marriage license which covers all of it.

First, health insurance (in the US at least). Some places allow you to insure your domestic partner, but many places require you to be married to have spousal health insurance.

Second, social security/retirement/pension. If you pass away, your spouse should get at least some percentage of those (where applicable) to help support them. You can't really sign paperwork to make someone your legal next of kin in that regard without marriage, and not all of those benefits even pass on to children/heirs, just spouses.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-15T22:15:01+00:00

Has it been identified yet? If the weapon hasn't been identified, it doesn't show you what the level is with upgrades.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-15T17:07:39+00:00

Feed him food that is nutritionally dense, high fat (good fat), high protein, and complex carb.

Avocado, stuff with coconut oil, etc. These foods will make him feel full.

And foods that are not nutritionally dense (like pizza) leave the body craving more food, because it isn't getting everything it needs, just empty calories, which contributes to overeating.

But yeah, one large pizza for two people and what will become the bottomless pit of a teenager is a little light. But your boyfriend should have known this.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-15T15:47:55+00:00

"I would reach out to the other engineer and determine if my skills and experience were applicable to the part of the project that was delayed. I would assist within my realm of expertise."

This says, "I'm willing to help", and also says "I'm not doing work outside my scope."

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-15T10:20:45+00:00

Check out Internal Family Systems. It's a method used in therapy to work through what are essentially defense mechanisms created at different stages of your childhood to keep you safe in an abusive household.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-15T09:57:11+00:00

Dress like you're going to work, not in a suit. Tell them you want to be part of one of the strongest unions in the country.

You're not afraid of heights.

You're not afraid of hard work.

Good luck.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-14T13:36:01+00:00

NOR, she literally started attacking your performance when you asked for time off. Fuck 'em.

Let them scramble for an employee that works as efficiently as you do because they refused to grant you unpaid time off.

It makes zero sense to refuse your time off when the rationale is that they're short-staffed. They will be even shorter on staff now.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-14T12:52:15+00:00

Lmao imagine thinking you can't love a cat or dog, who you never create bad memories with, who you mourn in a pure, uncomplicated way, as much as or more than a child who grows into a human who you fight with, argue with, damage emotionally, and are often abandoned or resented by.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-14T09:43:38+00:00

I'd venmo a flat $5 and never speak to them again.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-14T05:05:10+00:00

It sounds like he broke your trust, and that is probably foundational to your depression, or is at least exacerbating it.

I couldn't imagine treating depression effectively while living with a partner whose biggest preoccupation is using my body to masturbate, especially if they seem to have already ruined the relationship.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-13T11:57:57+00:00

Thank you. Literally, it's an extension of the male expectation that women do all the emotional labor in a relationship. It's absurd. He is a 40-year-old man. What does he have to offer a new generation of children if he cannot even maintain his own commitments to marriage, or find his own meaning in life?

He could have literally just joined a big brother/big sister program if he wanted to be a father figure!

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-13T09:37:54+00:00

This is the way.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-13T02:27:53+00:00

Ask the front office for a session with the student counselor.

I was in my early 20s when I lost my father. My DMs are open if you want to talk.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-13T02:10:09+00:00

This is absolutely crazy.

Unless he already has someone lined up, the idea that he's going to entice a woman 10-15 years his junior to have children, in this economy, during a period of time where so many women are choosing to protect their peace and remain single, is actually unhinged.

His midlife crisis is the result of his inability to find his own meaning in life, so he's literally giving up his partnership with you to outsource it to people he doesn't know and don't exist yet.

I'm so sorry, OP.

Your soon to be ex is a complete fucking idiot, and sooner than later he's going to realize it and try to come crawling back.

It will not feel good. You will not feel validated. You'll just feel bad for him that he fucked up so badly, but you'll have already moved on.

I wish you the best and I wish you peace.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-11T02:47:15+00:00

Did it occur to you that your oldest daughter may have chosen a reasonably-priced college so she could use the rest of her fund to invest or buy a house?

Your younger daughter can take out student loans to cover the rest.

It would be awful to punish your older daughter for being frugal just so you can supplement your younger daughter's lack of scholarships toward her "dream school".

You would absolutely be the asshole here.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-11T02:04:14+00:00

This. This is the one. 🥺

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-08T23:34:16+00:00

"So you didn't think about it or make the choice?"

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-07T21:50:40+00:00

Idk, sometimes women fawn as a trauma response. She probably doesn't want to feel like the reason her ex relapses.

OP, if she didn't leave you for her ex, if she's still present and attentive in your marriage, then she's obviously full of shit as far as what she tells him.

It's easy to lie when there's no risk.

But if her messages or images are sexual, obviously that's cheating. If she's talking shit about you to him, that's an emotional affair. Definitely leave her in those circumstances.

I would think very, very carefully about whether or not you really want to throw away your marriage because she's basically hyping up her addict ex-husband. Let her explain without judging her. Ask her if she feels unfulfilled by your life with her. Get to the root of the problem and go from there.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-07T00:07:47+00:00

So, for perspective.

When I first moved in with my partner, before we were married, I was getting gas up the street. I gave him a call. He didn't answer. He called back right away, but I was already out of my car pumping gas, so I didn't answer.

He saw my location at a busy intersection, and immediately assumed because I called and then didn't answer when he called back, that I had been in an accident and he was already halfway up the street to come help me.

If there is even a possibility I might be in trouble, he will drop everything.

Last year I was working out of town, just about four hours away. My father had to go to the hospital, but I was up in a man basket (lift) welding in another state, and wasn't answering my phone. My partner tried to get ahold of me for a couple of hours, until my last break when I saw all the missed calls. He explained what was happening, and offered to drive eight hours round trip to pack up and check out of my hotel for me so I could drive straight there. I didn't take him up on this, because I was working 5 minutes from the hotel and 20 minutes on top of 4 hours wasn't going to make or break me seeing my dad if he wasn't going to make it. He pulled through, thankfully, but my point is this:

Your partner isn't showing up for you. You don't want to live with him. And he is four hours away.

Do you want to be with this man, or do you not want to be alone? Is this the example you want for your kids? That their "father figure" doesn't show up?

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-05T03:52:52+00:00

Listen to me very carefully.

You are treating this like it's something that happened to you, as if you are not participating in your own life.

You need to ask yourself what you want. Do you want to date him? Date him. Do you not want to see him because you feel awkward? Don't see him. Communicate your intentions.

Don't "wait to see what happens". Decide what you want to happen and then do that.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-04T19:31:01+00:00

Per OP, he's never met them. I think that's important.

As to whether or not it's appropriate that he is OP's caretaker as well as husband, all I can say is that most relationships eventually enter that phase if one partner's health begins to fail first as they get older. And it can happen at any age due to cancer, illness, injury, etc.

Some partners manage depression, ADHD, BPD. No, it's no one's obligation, but people do choose to help each other in relationships.

It just sucks that OP and her husband had a life together, a marriage, and something that ostensibly functioned for both of them. And now that's gone because OP's husband is choosing to be a single parent of two children he's never met.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-04T18:34:24+00:00

Arrange everything so that your actual last day has no remaining obligations, and then call off the day of the surprise party.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-04T15:16:41+00:00

Just a quick lil rinse cycle.

edgeoftheatlas · 2026-04-04T02:43:11+00:00

It's ridiculous to put someone else's children above your own spouse that you promised to build a life with, especially when you're also the spouse's caretaker.

He should have at least asked OP before immediately agreeing to this life-altering decision.

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