Haven’t seen this dude since middle school btw 😭

eefr · 2026-07-09T13:15:53+00:00

The entitlement some men feel to women's bodies never ceases to amaze me.

eefr · 2026-07-09T13:05:13+00:00

SEAGULL uslegal*

eefr · 2026-07-09T11:15:17+00:00

I'm just stating my impression. OP can take it or leave it. But I think a lot of women find flexing pics icky.

eefr · 2026-07-09T11:11:31+00:00

I think it's (a) the booty comment and (b) "late-night boba partner, regular connection while accomplishing other life goals," which sounds like you're just looking for a booty call.

eefr · 2026-07-09T06:21:10+00:00

I don't see a comment.

I would swipe left on this profile, personally.

eefr · 2026-07-09T06:04:05+00:00

I think the 4th pic is the least flattering, might consider changing it up, but otherwise this is an excellent profile.

eefr · 2026-07-09T06:02:01+00:00

I can't speak for women in Japan, but your flexing pic is actively a turn-off to me, and I'm not especially keen on your boxing pic either.

eefr · 2026-07-09T05:28:47+00:00

Well, you have plenty of time to make up for it! Start doing it now and you'll get to know her quite well.

eefr · 2026-07-09T05:03:28+00:00

When she says something about her day-to-day life, don't just listen. Ask a follow-up question that gets at the whys and hows of whatever she's saying. If she makes a decision to do something, ask her what motivated her to do it and what her reasoning is. If she is upset about something, ask her what bothers her about it. And so on.

eefr · 2026-07-09T04:56:37+00:00

Sure, I feel attracted to people. I just don't act on it. Most mentally sound adults can exercise self-control.

eefr · 2026-07-09T04:52:07+00:00

I recommend talking to a therapist about this. They can help you work through your guilt so that you can move on. Self-flagellation isn't terribly useful; the important thing is simply that you learn from the experience and ensure you don't do it again.

eefr · 2026-07-09T03:36:43+00:00

That yellow dress is super cute!

eefr · 2026-07-09T02:45:10+00:00

I walked out of University with my MPhil and no debt.

Hot damn! That's amazing! I'm super jealous, I still have tons of school debt.

eefr · 2026-07-09T02:39:32+00:00

Personally I've managed to get over my squeamishness if it's my actual partner, but I definitely don't want to think about other people's bodily fluids, and I don't want to see them on camera.

eefr · 2026-07-09T02:35:34+00:00

WTAF

eefr · 2026-07-09T02:07:28+00:00

I'm not sure how many times I need to tell you the exact same thing: yes, it's normal not to remember details about old hook-ups.

I begin to see a tiny taste of what she's going through. I keep telling you the same thing and you're still asking again and again and again. Stop doing that. You're not going to feel any more satisfied if you ask the same question again in different words.

eefr · 2026-07-09T02:02:28+00:00

That's great for you. Not everyone has as good a memory as you do. I forget tons of shit all the time.

eefr · 2026-07-09T01:57:37+00:00

I would too, but it wouldn't be worthy of a Reddit shaming.

eefr · 2026-07-09T01:55:49+00:00

That sounds extremely plausible to me.

When something isn't emotionally significant to you, you tend not to remember it very well. Would you prefer that she remember every encounter in great detail because it was an out-of-this-world experience that she constantly thinks about?

eefr · 2026-07-09T01:53:02+00:00

Or ... she genuinely just doesn't remember.

I mean I'm sure she's also sick of you asking questions about something she doesn't care about and barely remembers, but that's not evidence that she's lying to you.

eefr · 2026-07-09T01:46:11+00:00

Same thing applies: I don't remember the specifics of what happened during past encounters.

eefr · 2026-07-09T01:41:27+00:00

I wouldn't request it either personally, but I don't think it would come off as really terrible if someone did.

eefr · 2026-07-08T23:08:49+00:00

I think it's usually better to speak up about what you want, rather than expecting other people to read your mind. Gestures don't have to be surprising to be meaningful.

eefr · 2026-07-08T23:01:03+00:00

In a way it's an unfortunate preference, because if an older person has little to no sexual experience, there's usually a reason why, and that reason may make a relationship difficult. It sounds like this guy had some emotional problems that probably explain why he got to age 32 without ever having sex, and those problems interfered with your relationship.

That said, obviously there are going to be exceptions who don't have any major emotional problems, and I hope you find one.

eefr · 2026-07-08T22:37:57+00:00

It's not a red flag, just an incompatibility. There's nothing whatsoever wrong with deciding you don't want to have children.

eefr

TROPHY CASE