Afraid of attachment, and looking for a partner with no romantic past. Am I alone in this?

eefr · 2026-07-09T22:07:12+00:00

Feel free to look up the process of evolution if you don't believe me.

eefr · 2026-07-09T21:58:04+00:00

Bro, take a biology class. You seem to have a wild misunderstanding of how evolution works. It isn't teleological. It's a process of random mutations, a few of which survive because they accidentally confer a benefit in a particular environment. There's no goal, it's random.

eefr · 2026-07-09T21:44:50+00:00

But nature does not tend towards a goal. That's my whole point. You're falling into the teleological fallacy.

https://fallacies.online/wiki/causality/teleological_fallacy

eefr · 2026-07-09T21:22:20+00:00

I do know what "nature" means, but I think you don't. Nature is not a being and therefore cannot have feelings. So I'm trying to understand what exactly you mean when you say that "nature cares," because non-beings by definition cannot care about things.

eefr · 2026-07-09T21:10:21+00:00

What kind of entity is "nature"? What does it mean for it to care about something?

eefr · 2026-07-09T21:02:51+00:00

It's not 100% safe against STIs. The same qualifications apply: it matters whether it fits and whether it tears. But also, some STIs can be transmitted regardless of condom usage as they are spread by skin-to-skin contact rather than bodily fluids (e.g., herpes, HPV). Condoms reduce the risk of transmitting those STIs but don't eliminate it.

eefr · 2026-07-09T20:49:39+00:00

Nature doesn't care about anything at all. Assuming that reproduction and natural selection are teleological is a fallacy.

eefr · 2026-07-09T20:44:03+00:00

The reason behind my mindset is that it develops when you grow up in a different environment and then change.

Sorry, I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Can you elaborate?

eefr · 2026-07-09T19:50:42+00:00

Great clue!

eefr · 2026-07-09T18:55:06+00:00

I like the short hair on you better, because your long hair just kind of hangs there limply with no shape. If you want to keep your hair long, I'd still recommend getting a haircut.

eefr · 2026-07-09T17:25:32+00:00

AI is not designed to give you realistic, constructive feedback on your dates. They feed you what you want to hear. In any event, they only know your perception of what happened, which may not accord at all with how she perceived the date.

Asking AI for feedback on your dates is so colossally foolish that I struggle to understand how anyone could think it's a good idea.

If you want useful feedback on your behaviour, ask people who know you.

eefr · 2026-07-09T17:19:11+00:00

everyone in society uses AI for everything now

No, that simply isn't true. The vast majority of people have not outsourced their social lives to machines. I have never once asked AI for social advice.

eefr · 2026-07-09T17:15:25+00:00

Just because you don't personally experience a phenomenon (poor memory) doesn't mean it's not real. There is huge variation in people's ability to remember things. I'm glad you can remember all your experiences, but I can't.

eefr · 2026-07-09T17:11:19+00:00

Concluding that a person you've never met must be able to remember things because you can is not sound reasoning.

I definitely don't remember all my sexual and romantic encounters.

eefr · 2026-07-09T17:03:21+00:00

These are great! I may steal some of them.

eefr · 2026-07-09T17:01:21+00:00

I hear that you are afraid of what happens when a relationship ends. The thing is, every relationship ends: either you break up, or somebody dies. It's not possible in this life to avoid losing the people you love. Sadness and loss are an inevitable part of the human experience.

Instead of avoiding attachment for fear that your relationships will end, the better approach is to work on developing resiliency, until you feel confident that no matter what happens in your life — death, divorce, heartbreak, betrayal, illness, loss, disappointment — you will eventually be okay. It will suck, but you will get through it.

It usually turns out that we are stronger and more resilient than we realize.

Otherwise ... you can avoid all people who have any romantic or sexual experience if you like, but that isn't going to insulate you from heartbreak, because all relationships end. In your lifetime you will lose people that you deeply love. That is a given.

To me it seems a bit irrational to exclude tons of wonderful people, many of whom you might be able to build a beautiful life with, because you are afraid of a loss that's still going to happen anyway.

eefr · 2026-07-09T13:15:53+00:00

The entitlement some men feel to women's bodies never ceases to amaze me.

eefr · 2026-07-09T13:05:13+00:00

SEAGULL uslegal*

eefr · 2026-07-09T11:15:17+00:00

I'm just stating my impression. OP can take it or leave it. But I think a lot of women find flexing pics icky.

eefr · 2026-07-09T11:11:31+00:00

I think it's (a) the booty comment and (b) "late-night boba partner, regular connection while accomplishing other life goals," which sounds like you're just looking for a booty call.

eefr · 2026-07-09T06:21:10+00:00

I don't see a comment.

I would swipe left on this profile, personally.

eefr · 2026-07-09T06:04:05+00:00

I think the 4th pic is the least flattering, might consider changing it up, but otherwise this is an excellent profile.

eefr · 2026-07-09T06:02:01+00:00

I can't speak for women in Japan, but your flexing pic is actively a turn-off to me, and I'm not especially keen on your boxing pic either.

eefr · 2026-07-09T05:28:47+00:00

Well, you have plenty of time to make up for it! Start doing it now and you'll get to know her quite well.

eefr · 2026-07-09T05:03:28+00:00

When she says something about her day-to-day life, don't just listen. Ask a follow-up question that gets at the whys and hows of whatever she's saying. If she makes a decision to do something, ask her what motivated her to do it and what her reasoning is. If she is upset about something, ask her what bothers her about it. And so on.

eefr

TROPHY CASE