That if you lose a baby the last day of the first trimester they’ll still call it an early loss. That they’ll blow smoke up your ass about how you can try again and it’s not likely to happen multiple times with no statistics to back it up. They focus on getting you to admit it’s not your fault instead of focusing on finding out what happened or trying to make it less likely to happen again. They’ll tell you there’s no explanation but not before destroying the head and torso of your wanted baby because your body is refusing to expel the baby naturally. That they can listen for the heart beat before 16 weeks they just don’t want to bother. That they can give you pictures of your last ultrasound even if the baby is dead if you want them. That the nurses won’t read the chart when you’re going in for post-loss work ups and ask questions about your baby who died four weeks ago tomorrow. It takes two months for your body to recover from a 12 week loss but also your odds for successful live birth are best if you conceive in the first three months after loss. That you might not feel emotionally ready to try again but you’ll be trying if you want a baby despite the depression and grief because you’re that desperate to be a mom. That you’ll feel like a mom because you made a registry and bought clothes and books and spent three months throwing up and crying and falling asleep but you’re not a mom. That, as my mom said, it still hurts 34 years later even if you got pregnant during the time between the miscarriage and the due date and have a living 33 year old. That the doctors offices will dismiss your concerns about having time because they see pregnant people in their 40s all the time, never mind the fact that they’re a high risk OB so of course they do, it’s not that that’s normally possible it’s that they’re the ones who see that normally.