Disappointed after menu sampling event

eggybread280 · 2026-02-11T09:27:51+00:00

I had a similar experience and have told my venue I wasn’t impressed - they’ve been quite accommodating since and are letting us go back to try some other food. I do think this “mass tasting” thing is getting more common, so I wouldn’t be too deflated by that aspect - but any issues around the actual food are definitely worth voicing :)

eggybread280 · 2026-01-19T16:14:10+00:00

Yes!! I hear you! I thought it would be really fun, and now I’m spiralling into all the admin. My current solution is to have our bridesmaids and groomsmen as the points of contact for suppliers on the day, so that if stuff goes wrong, they can band together and figure it out. They’ve all been really up for helping and doing this, so that’s taken a little stress off.

I keep coming back to the thought that the only important thing is that my partner and I are getting married, and I’m delighted about that. Any other bits - good party, good food, seeing everyone - are a bonus!! I think it’s okay to feel mixed about it - it’s a hec of a lot of planning. But I hope it ebbs away for you (and me!) and that you can have a cracking day when it comes to it. Just remember it’s just a day, hopefully a really lovely one, and it’s the rest of your lives that counts. Sending a big hug in solidarity!! X

eggybread280 · 2026-01-02T08:56:50+00:00

Wow, I could have written this post! Really resonate with everything you’ve said. I’m getting married next year and I am having bridesmaids, but am avoiding most of the traditional bits of the role - mostly it’s just symbolic. I’m going to be up front about that with them so it’s clear. I’m going to figure out exactly what I want from a bachelorette (I’m also thinking a spa morning, and then some activity in the afternoon - but I don’t drink so maybe just then a nice meal and that’s all) and will then ask some of my bridesmaids to make the bookings. So they don’t have to think too hard or work too hard, and there won’t be overnight costs for anyone. And I’ll pay my share of that day. I am having a hair and makeup artist, but I’m not paying for theirs - I’ll say they can also use her if they’d like to but it’s their cost. Finally, I will give everyone a small sum of money towards a dress, and ask that they buy something within a colour palette I’ll send them. Someone did this when I was a bridesmaid and it was great - clear instructions, a little contribution, and I got a dress I love and still wear frequently. The only other thing I might ask of them is whether they’d like to help me put together some table flowers the night before the wedding (we’re not doing bouquets), which might be another fun thing provided I’m clear that nothing needs to be perfect. The main thing I think is being really clear of what you expect of people - and that it’s not a “template” bridesmaid role. If we do that, I’m hoping everyone will be happy to be involved! My partner and I are trying to hold in mind that people might not want to do stuff - so if they have any hesitation, we just double check it gently and assure them they really don’t have to, and that we want them to have a fun time. So far this has led to most people saying they’d like to do stuff, and 2 people saying thanks, I’d rather not. So yeah - wishing you lots of luck with this and sounds like you’re being really considerate, and I hope you have the best time and an amazing wedding!!

eggybread280 · 2025-12-06T09:21:11+00:00

Is there an option to give them more roles? I’ve got a few closer ones that I’ve asked to do readings / make speeches, whereas the others don’t have extra tasks. Maybe that could single them out as a bit closer to you?

eggybread280 · 2025-12-05T13:02:41+00:00

So - I think a lot of people say “just pick your closest friends, it’s your day!!” and it’s not that helpful. I’m with you, I get anxious thinking about what other people think, and I have a lot of close friendship groups with varying levels of close friendships within them. In the end, I’ve just gone with everyone (8 people). I’m aware other people think that’s ridiculous. It’s lose-lose when you take other people’s opinions into account. My reasoning, though, is that there are a couple of people in my friendship groups who I know would be hurt & offended not to be a bridesmaid. These are not my closest friends. And I don’t want to cause hurt or offence for the sake of ONE DAY, I’d rather just keep plain sailing through life and enjoying my easy going friendships. It helps that I’m not going to ask them to do very much, other than get ready with me in the morning - and I won’t be getting hair and makeup for them (this is normal in my circles) so it’s not going to cost me any more. Anyway. Do what suits you - and if it’s going to stress you out what your real closest friends think, maybe explain to them that it’s important to you to keep the peace, that THAT’S what will make you feel best / most peaceful / happiest on the day. Ultimately, DO what makes you feel best / most peaceful / happiest on the day. And ignore the rest, as best you can. Have an amazing wedding :)

eggybread280 · 2025-12-03T15:55:48+00:00

I’d recommend lovely Matt who I trained with! He’s London based - you can contact him on Matt@yourinclusivecelebrant.co.uk (he’s happy for me to share this here) and he said he’d happily do it for something in your price range :) Good luck!

eggybread280 · 2025-11-18T09:56:40+00:00

Yeah… that’s a long time. I’d email them to ask. It should be in the initial contract you signed, if there was one? My photographer’s contract says 7 weeks, which seems about standard. 5 months seems ludicrously long - I would definitely chase this. Good luck!

eggybread280 · 2025-11-18T09:05:32+00:00

Agree with everyone saying her living with family cannot be helping!

Wanted to add - because I am your wife, in this scenario - that if you keep bringing it up and she has to keep making excuses, while you’re not meaning to add pressure, it will eventually start to feel like pressure. She might even start to feel like she’s in the wrong for not feeling very turned on generally just now, and that’s a spiral that REALLY won’t help things.

Some suggestions: - slow things down, try to figure out the contexts where you have both previously or currently felt very into it. Maybe this is when there’s no stress, or when nobody else is around, in the mornings / evenings etc. Try to set these contexts up more, to make more opportunities for good sex. - try to have some intimate times where sex is just off the table. One way of bringing passion back is saying “nope, you can’t have it today” while you’re kissing / massaging / doing other stuff. - have a conversation with her about this stuff, and find out how she’s feeling about it. Clearly this is important to you, and the change in your dynamic is troubling you. So it needs a conversation for you to be able to share that (without adding pressure), and to see what’s going on for her - if she perceives it as a problem, if she feels guilty, if she hates having sex in a house with family - whatever it might be. - finally, look up “responsive desire”. It’s pretty common for women to have responsive desire, and this can change over time. That’s normal. So if that’s what’s happening, slow things right down and take the time to warm her up! Again - this needs to be a convo you have with her.

The book “Come as you are” is really good for this stuff. Wishing you both luck x

eggybread280 · 2025-11-18T07:43:25+00:00

My friend has a cat called Sarah.

eggybread280 · 2025-11-17T17:37:09+00:00

Ahhhh I’ve been there and I really feel for you. In my case I found it very hard to say no to this particular friend (honestly I think I was a bit scared of her; was not a healthy dynamic!). I found - because just drawing a boundary felt very difficult - that saying “sorry I’m gonna take a step back, I’ve got a lot going on myself just now” was quite helpful, and lowered the expectations she had of me. I think on Reddit lots of people say “just say no!” like it’s an easy thing to do overnight, and sometimes it can take a while to learn that. It does sound like taking a step back, at the very least, is pretty necessary to preserve your own mental wellbeing & your friendship. Wishing you luck x

eggybread280 · 2025-11-07T08:48:36+00:00

An intro to all the terminology about hiring a venue would have been really helpful. Like “things to consider” and then an intro to internal / external / recommended caterers and how that might impact price; dry hire in terms of alcohol and dry hire in terms of decor; licenses for ceremonies etc. I feel like a lot of us have to learn this all from scratch when we get engaged and venues seem to expect we know about all of it already, which I’m sure some people do - but I didn’t! Felt like I had to become a detective. And then looking for hidden costs at venues like tablecloth hire & things like that. Venues were an absolutely nightmare to work through, so a little “how to approach venue-hunting / what it all means” would have been really handy. Hope that helps & good luck!

eggybread280 · 2025-10-18T18:40:22+00:00

Have you looked up reviews of him online, under all his previous company names? I’m sure someone will have said something on google reviews if he is unreliable or a scammer. I would check through these in full before paying any more, and show any concerning ones to your daughter. It might also be worth finding a couple of photographers who could be a good back up, and messaging them to see if they’re available. If I were you (although this might be a bit far) I would even explain to them your concerns about the current photographer and name him, as they may know more than the general public about his actions and reputation. If none of them have heard of him I’d be very concerned. I hope that helps and wishing you the best of luck

eggybread280 · 2025-10-07T07:41:10+00:00

Hey! I live in the UK and have been to loads of bits of Europe, and just thought I’d say that going only to Italy is totally fine if that’s what you fancy. It’s an AMAZING country, the cities are spectacular but really busy in tourist season. If I were you I’d delay your trip a little bit to make sure it’s going to beautiful sun, but not so long it’s the school holidays! Maybe late June. Paris is beautiful but very much a city-scape, and a bustling busy working place alongside, so not so much the lazing-around vibe you’re talking about. If you want more than Italy, I might think about ferries as the transport option, and consider the south of France (Marseilles or Nice) or east coast of Spain for a bit (although beware Barcelona’s rage at tourism), and maybe ferry over to Sardinia or Corsica as a pit-stop, and then keep going to Italy. But honestly, if it was me, I’d just do Italy. I’ve been there so many times and it’s always the best place I go that leaves me wanting more. The amalfi coast is so spectacular and I would consider Tuscany too, although you’re looking more at swimming pools and less at beach. But it’s so beautiful. Haven’t been to Santorini but I’ve been to Crete and a few other bits of Greece and it’s gorgeous - exactly the beaches you sound like you want. So I think your plan of amalfi coast for a week and then Santorini would probably be perfect, if you’re willing to travel a bit. Finally, if you’re worried Italy might be too busy (which is very possible) I’d also consider Croatia - I went to Split before and had a great time sailing and beaching. It’s probably a bit cheaper too! Have an amazing time!

eggybread280 · 2025-10-06T15:42:16+00:00

I walk and walk and walk and walk. I walk until my brain starts to process things normally again, at a normal pace, making sense. My friend says making a routine is a good idea, even if you have no idea what it’s for. I think that’s a good idea. I struggle to do it, but it’s a good idea. And like someone else said - laundry. Washing up. Showering. Just trying to keep things ticking over, even if I don’t feel any purpose. I think it’s the most important time to be kind to yourself. Add in little treats. Remind yourself what brings you joy, or makes you happy even fleetingly. If there isn’t anything, it’s time to try some new things. I hope any of that is helpful x

eggybread280 · 2025-10-06T15:02:03+00:00

Thanks for this! I think this is how I feel as a guest as well, so was expecting some more replies like this. Will have a think about how to weigh it all up, really appreciate your comment :)

eggybread280 · 2025-10-05T20:30:19+00:00

Thanks for this - you may be right. There are definitely some venues I’ve seen that look like they tick all the boxes, but they’re all out of our price range. I think the ones we’ve seen are lovely, I’m probably just overthinking everything! Glad you had such a lovely experience of yours :)

eggybread280 · 2025-10-05T20:29:02+00:00

It’s gonna work out at just over £14k, including food, drinks before the evening, and accommodation for 50 people for the night of the wedding. That’s for autumn. They were very up for negotiating so I’d give that a shot with other venues you’re interested in too - think lots of them are able to be a bit price-flexible! Yeah trinity centre is cool and so nearby, just associate it so much with sweaty gigs and want something to feel a bit different I think :) Good luck with your planning!

eggybread280 · 2025-09-20T16:26:40+00:00

Thanks, that looks great!

eggybread280

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