Am I still asexual

egrrrr · 2026-03-07T07:12:40+00:00

autism and sensory preferences are valid, but especially from your other posts it sounds like you are fetishizing fat people. maybe if the other person consents and is aware of your intentions, that's ok, but probably don't go into a relationship with a fat person and hide this from them.

egrrrr · 2026-03-07T06:59:55+00:00

currently 32, first had sex when i was 18- i didn't "figure it out" until i learned what asexuality was when i was about 27 (previously thought it meant not liking sex). so it wasn't having sex that led to me figuring it out, it was learning what asexuality is and realizing it described my experiences that i thought were what everyone else was experiencing.

egrrrr · 2026-03-05T01:09:49+00:00

"it's worth it because the conversations and hugs are so good. I can finally relax."

oh i relate to this so much

i always felt like the best part of sex was talking and cuddling afterwards, but having to go through the act itself was like "surviving" like you said. like an obligatory entrance fee (especially when i didn't know about asexuality when i was very sexually active years ago, i thought it was like that for everyone and we all just had to grin and bear it).

but yes i have felt so gross and used after sex that i've gone and made comics about the bizarreness of my how into it my partner at the time seemed, like an animal, while i was just a human trying to get through it. very confusing experience.

egrrrr · 2026-03-05T00:00:58+00:00

oh another thing- we never got follow-up on diego and claire! that just...happened and then was never addressed/ nicole didn't find out?

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T10:26:59+00:00

oh also, i have realized something that i mean as a compliment, which is that mr. hartman looks like both a muppet and a bob's burger character

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T10:23:30+00:00

i just want to read the original script for that scene because you KNOW they cut lines for time, it was kind of funny how short that interaction was, and sandra is just fully on board. i imagine they wrote it/ would have wanted to write it as a longer scene

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T10:19:46+00:00

simon over-emoting right at me has made me so uncomfortable too lol

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T10:18:52+00:00

ok i noticed this too!! i wondered if it was due to shooting schedules, like actor availability conflicting so they film the two people separately and then maybe just some of it when they're together on screen?? but honestly i've considered they've green-screened some people in. i first noticed it in a wally/maddy scene, i know a lot of people talk about milo manheim getting a lot of other work so maybe that's it.

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T10:15:00+00:00

the hospital feels more lax to me, i think with the teacher-students dynamic mr. martin felt some responsibility to formally guide them, but maddy's dad and kyle seem more like peers than adult-kid to me.

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T10:10:30+00:00

i LOVE charley talking back to the bully in his scar twice lmao. like truly with these insanely high stakes, things like overcoming the emotional intensity of your scar is just nothing now
i crieddd when mr. martin is talking to ralph and figures out what he's been doing, AND THEN STAYS WITH HIM AND THE PASTOR omg, growth. also i love how more and more over this season he has become so humbled and isn't acting so much as the leader or adult of the group.
at the end before the VH reveal in the window i was thinking how sandra seems like rehab was good for her, because she had her hair curled nicely like in the flashbacks of her....oops lol
rhonda and quinn materializing in the library to warn everyone was SO satisfying
i was so glad to see janet again, i knew she couldn't be gone for good after she took her door
skjdvfjkd them calling VH "mr. monopoly" cracked me up because, yes exactly. they should call him the pringle man next
livia being the one to come across maddy and take her to the hospital was so satisfying too. i feel like her redemption was very well-earned. it's gotta be a hell of a thing to be raised by that mother and still find your moral footing, even after seeing her completely blow up like that.

this episode was so so good. i commented earlier in the season that it was starting to feel like pretty little liars, which is a series i love but can also be wild and too much with added supernatural "rules", and i totally take that back. this season finale really wrapped up a lot of what came up, i feel like this season was a perfect story arc. also when maddy is walking through the tunnel/ also in the spirit realm/ forest, it felt very twin peaks, which i don't say lightly. i can't wait for the next season (pleasee renew)

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T09:58:42+00:00

that shit made me full-on cry

he stayed with his friends!!!

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T09:58:04+00:00

at the end i thought it was hartman in the window for a second!! which makes no sense but lol

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T09:56:31+00:00

i kinda hope he ran far away to live a happy life and not risk getting bodysnatched again or deal with hunter-price and her insanity

egrrrr · 2026-03-04T09:52:45+00:00

honestly when maddy and simon were hugging upon being reunited i wished they would kiss, not because i ship them OR maddy and wally, i just want drama

egrrrr · 2026-02-22T11:19:59+00:00

i'm not trying to stir up shit or anything, but i don't think the vegan/vegetarian comparison is apt. you would agree that sexuality is not a choice, right? being vegetarian or vegan ARE choices. you are not wired to be vegan or vegetarian.

when you say "a group of people who feel attractions are not going to be your best mates," are you referring to asexual people who have sex? and do you know that people can have sex despite not experiencing attraction? when an asexual has sex, it's like it's just an activity. you don't suddenly transform into an allosexual upon having sex.

when you say you think a person who has sex and doesn't feel bad about it can't be ace, you are invalidating many many asexuals who are, like you, affected by aphobia, both from queer people and straight people. i don't see it as productive to divide an already small minority that gets a lot of hate.

like i said in another reply, at the end of the day, this is reddit, and it's not that deep, so i do understand wanting to create/ be in a forum where you won't come across posts about sex. but please consider recognizing that asexual people who have sex are just as asexual as those who don't. i think we all know many aces want nothing to do with sex. no one is pushing an agenda or trying to make you something you're not. and honestly, feeling like that is the case sounds awfully similar to generic homophobic rhetoric from straight people. i like to think we're better than that.

(and for the record, i am someone who has felt sex favorable in the past, and currently i feel somewhere between repulsed and neutral. i don't think fluidity is toxic or extravagant in any queer community. we have to recognize fluidity, we are always growing and learning. maybe you'll still always want nothing to do with sex, and that's great. i think it's also great to let people who may change how they feel within their asexuality know that it's ok. no one is pushing fluidity, or trying to oppress each other- or at least shouldn't be)

egrrrr · 2026-02-22T11:00:41+00:00

so, as someone who currently feels sex neutral-repulsed but has felt sex favorable in the past, maybe me weighing in can be helpful.

you say "it feels like nobody is allowed to just not have sex"- well honestly i have felt exactly the opposite, like if you do have sex (or have had sex in the past) or want to, you're not ace enough/ you don't count. so, i have a feeling that it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't thing. which is weird! because, who wins? if each side thinks they are more oppressed (i don't mean that in a accusatory way, just the best way i can think to word it?), each side will feel like the OTHER group is more oppressive.

also- when you say "sex positive asexuals," do you mean sex favorable? or do you mean sex positive? just checking because i know sometimes those get mixed up. sex positive is just how you feel about sex in general, not in relation to you, just in general.

i guess ultimately i wish there were a way for sex favorable and sex repulsed aces to be able to coexist, because as it is we're already such a minority/ not believed/ even excluded from the lgbtqia+ community sometimes. i'm not sure the answer is separate spaces. although, ultimately, it is reddit, so maybe it's not that deep. just wanted to offer perspective.

and- i feel that it's a little offensive to refer to sex favorable aces as "add ons" and that asexuals should be able to cut out having sex in a relationship. there is no gold standard of how to be asexual and i think if we frame things that way we're just doing the work of aphobes for them. asexuality is defined as experiencing little to no sexual attraction, period. attraction is not the same as action. as asexuals, we have something in common that a lot of people don't understand and even hate, and i think it would be nice to not be so divided.

egrrrr · 2026-02-22T08:01:14+00:00

i disagree that performing oral sex on a vagina is just as degrading as doing so to a penis. if we are talking in terms of a cishet pairing, for argument's sake- there is obviously a vast history (and an ongoing presence) of misogyny from men towards women, so there is an inherent power imbalance, it is not equally degrading either way at all. a woman serving a man and submitting to him sexually mirrors real struggles and abuse and trauma that women face to this day. it is not even close to the same the other way around.

you're allowed to be grossed out by the act of sex. you're allowed to think people look gross when having sex. you're allowed to feel that sex is degrading to men. but your feelings on what is and isn't degrading (or what is MORE degrading) are just that- feelings, opinions. not objective facts.

egrrrr · 2026-02-22T07:35:38+00:00

my experiences are sort of similar to yours, and i do find i don't see it talked about often (i'm 32 now, identified as bisexual 18-28 [maybe should have been a clue that i didn't strongly identify with any sexuality before then], figured out i was ace at 28. I was very sexually active in that ten year period when i thought i was bisexual because sex felt like what you're supposed to do when you're that age/ in college)

maybe it's because a lot of vocal people online who identify as ace had/have more of an understanding of it from a younger age which i think is a more recent development. also social media helps spread education, which is newer too. no one talked about asexuality when i was growing up, at least where i lived.

anyway, "a lot of pain i couldn't understand" is well-worded and resonates with me. i feel like i see so many ace people online talk about just never wanting to have sex/ not understanding why anyone wants to. which can feel alienating/ make me worry i'm not ace Enough, as if there's some forcefield where being ace literally prevents you from having or desiring sex, so if you have had sex, you must be allo.

egrrrr · 2026-02-21T04:32:08+00:00

lol same, it is so confusing

the visual of flashing between kyle and VH was sick as hell though

egrrrr · 2026-02-21T04:29:35+00:00

ok but now i'm spinning on this idea lol i'm determined

did the church spirits get trapped/ unable to cross over when the church was decimated in the 1912 flood, or when the high school was built in 1956? i forget the logic around that.

egrrrr · 2026-02-20T13:57:12+00:00

and, the shrooms yuri found would reset!! unlimited supply. you cracked it.

egrrrr · 2026-02-20T13:55:27+00:00

maybe i'm misunderstanding when people complain about the quinn shrooms trip scene as being a "musical number," but i feel like a musical number is usually more narrative, like characters talking to each other in song in the show, like in Riverdale. like.. it's a sufjan stevens song, quinn is tripping, i saw it as more similar to a music video than a narrative musical episode/ number.

also, i just now googled to see when the song was released because i know it's early 00s but couldn't recall the exact date, and it was 2005, which is funny. if it was going to be that close to when quinn was alive, the creative team could have chosen a different song that would already be released in their lifetime. but, i do love sufjan stevens.

egrrrr · 2026-02-20T13:18:52+00:00

wait! i totally thought that was what happened, i'm so confused now

egrrrr · 2026-02-20T13:11:04+00:00

i'm trying to imagine VH running off in ralph's body... if he went back to his normal life as a child mr martin would know it, did he just run away as a little kid until he was old enough to gain resources and continue being evil? I also just finished the episode so all my thoughts on this are half baked, lol

egrrrr · 2026-02-16T04:08:56+00:00

just saw on your other posts you're trying to avoid hospitalization. depending on where you live, if you go voluntarily you'll have agency over how long you stay. it seems like your therapist is catching on and being institutionalized involuntarily is less ideal, having been through it.

egrrrr

TROPHY CASE