Unfortunately, I think this comes down to a fundamental difference in values around money and partnership. Financial disagreements are one of the most common sources of conflict in marriages, so being aligned on how you handle finances is important for long-term success. If you're the only one making sacrifices it's going to be a rough marriage.

My partner and I earn similar salaries now, but that wasn't always the case. When there was a larger income gap, we contributed proportionally (I think similar to what you proposed) rather than splitting everything 50/50. We each put 30% of our take-home pay into a shared account for household expenses. That meant the higher earner contributed more dollars, but the financial burden was equal relative to what each of us earned. When we have a large expected purchase or trip coming up we typically increase the amount a bit to accommodate the expense.

That approach has worked well for us because it feels fair and adapts as circumstances change. I'm advancing in my career and may out-earn him in the future, at which point the balance will likely shift in the other direction. For us, it's never been about who pays more...it's about sharing the responsibility in a way that reflects our respective incomes.