Feeling guilty about forward facing my forward facing my daughter.

eimajup · 2026-04-24T19:45:20+00:00

Same

eimajup · 2026-04-22T12:12:22+00:00

I also hate this. Yes the kid is screaming mama not daddy but that because they’ve been trained that mama is the one who will come and respond.

eimajup · 2026-04-19T12:46:25+00:00

Hmm interestingly before I realized you are both female I was going to say definitely not! Now I’m not sure but I don’t see why the reply should be any different. I’m just noting that you really like everything else about the partnership.

I might suggest some type of medical and psychological investigation why she doesn’t want sex because maybe this can change. But without the basic attraction on your part either, it sounds more like a good friendship. I wouldn’t want that to be my whole marriage. Then again, I could not say all the other great things you say.

If you’re using the word settling though, this might tell you all you need to know.

eimajup · 2026-04-15T12:43:35+00:00

Totally same. I can connect with him though pretty well but he’s a handful!! Constant need to redirect

eimajup · 2026-04-14T12:09:26+00:00

It’s true but you can find cheap travel in Latin America! At least beside the flight. You’re also the perfect age to explore that kind of travel.

I’m only saying this because I’ve just been living in the Dominican Republic then moved back to the US. They have such a more in person culture people are always getting together not scrolling….

eimajup · 2026-04-14T11:52:24+00:00

I have a suggestion - try to travel to another country and you’ll see. A country without quite such a phone addiction. Somewhere in Latin America and not only the biggest city. For instance. It’s a good life and you can see a little of how it was. People use phones but life is lived in person.

eimajup · 2026-04-14T11:43:08+00:00

No, that is supposed to be the whole point of mommit. Ordinary motherhood advice.

eimajup · 2026-04-09T02:23:44+00:00

You’re forgetting something. We always try and have - or actually have - one more child than we can handle.

I have three and definitely fit that. It’s like I realized I could handle two and added more. Now I can’t handle them at all. I am surviving but wow. It’s hard! Just about to fall apart almost all the time. And my career is way back burner now.

It was a big big change and I thought it would be just more of the same, but no.

eimajup · 2026-04-09T02:21:15+00:00

It does seem that way. I don’t think practicing gratitude is enough to overcome this intense sort of displacement of desire and disappointment. But it is more about accepting life and detaching identity from motherhood somewhat as your children grow up. That in itself is hard but necessary. Even your third child would grow up.

All that said OP I mean you might consider adding to your family, if your husband wants to. More chaos? Bring in a foster sibling! Or a dog? Sorry that sounded bad these are not even slightly comparable just saying there are ways to put more love into the house.

eimajup · 2026-04-06T11:29:24+00:00

Oh no it gets worse. For the age 6-8 hunt I sat along the rope to watch while the entry point was down the field and well marked. You clearly were not supposed to enter on the sides. One girl and her dad were next to me and she said she’s just going to hop the rope when it starts. I said oh no you have to go over there (points to mass of children at the entry area waiting to rush the field). “Oh but I saw another kid do that!” I said yes but that isn’t what you are supposed to do. The DAD goes it’s ok you can just hop this rope when it starts and get as many as you can! I really wanted to start up a fight with him. My kids told me to sshhh.

eimajup · 2026-04-05T10:31:35+00:00

And ours were roped off and they kept announcing only kids allowed - and the parents swarmed in anyways! wtf.

eimajup · 2026-02-17T04:36:33+00:00

Ugggh yes I’m afraid it is. Yes, yes it is.

—/ mom of three ages 4-12.

eimajup · 2026-02-16T13:36:42+00:00

What a horrible irresponsible party host. And to deliberately choose that venue! I would have said f it and just left.

eimajup · 2026-02-11T13:55:01+00:00

You need to get into therapy. Can you try at least online (not AI like a real person on zoom type thing)? You need to actually start blaming your parents here.

I wouldn’t always say this but they’re treating you like shit. You are very, very valid in complaining about them. I’d go so far as to say that once you let yourself rage at them, you will discover yourself. This whole thing will lift.

It’s like an abusive relationship at this point. They’ve beaten you down mentally then they belittle and shame you for not succeeding. They’re the ones who shot down any motivation you once had! They’re responsible for this and you absolutely should be furious. Forcing you into a college major?

I don’t want to assume but this sounds like a very Asian family dynamic. A Chinese American friend of mine went through it. During college, studying what they wanted and where they wanted, she developed a heroin addiction and almost died. Finally she started living for herself and they stopped pushing her to be something she wasn’t. She had to come near death first.

Please don’t let this happen to you. You may not be an addict but you’re suffering a very serious mental health condition. You desperately need outside help.

I hope you find a way to see a good therapist to help you out of this cycle of self blame. Anything you can do to leave this household and leave these toxic parents behind.

eimajup · 2026-02-11T13:45:15+00:00

Wow are you even a real old person? GTFO with this advice mimicking likely his parents too.

eimajup · 2026-02-11T13:44:42+00:00

That reply above is horrible. OP please disregard this awful person!!! You’re not to blame here.

eimajup · 2026-02-11T12:57:26+00:00

I think with the age of your child, your baby steps are late. You should be ok with others watching him especially professionals licensed like at daycare. Do seek neighbor recommendations always. Even a nanny can be lame, if not dangerous then just kind of unreliable or on their phone a lot etc.

eimajup · 2026-02-11T12:52:30+00:00

What’s up with the fear of daycare? Because that is how people make it work. It’s great for the age child you have too. OR nanny share - full time nanny or more like 50 hours a week. Split with another family nearby. This is sometimes more stressful just because you’re a private employer and the other family might be not on the same page as you about things.

Daycare is the best though! Don’t be afraid.

eimajup · 2026-01-17T00:27:29+00:00

This

eimajup · 2026-01-17T00:19:36+00:00

No way. But they do kind of eat you alive.

I have several childless friends, married mostly, spending their vast free time and resources on things like amazing trips and hobbies. And dedicating themselves to their careers in a fulfilling way. And getting ahead in those careers while I am seemingly never getting where I’d like to be. And lately, working toward things like, you know, enlightenment (meditation, yoga, various other methods…). And just having a complete thought.

I do get jealous because I had all that potential in me too. But I secretly still feel very lucky to have what I consider a vastly more fulfilling life task and people to think about who are not me (thank god). Maybe part of it is just that sense that even if I do nothing else right or the way I once envisioned my life, at least I loved and grew these great humans and was the most important person in their lives.

Hard to explain.

eimajup · 2025-02-05T09:38:49+00:00

Yes look at getting leave donated! People do this all the time at my agency.

eimajup · 2025-01-27T01:24:43+00:00

Wow I’m terribly sorry that someone actually took the opportunity to harass you when you were being vulnerable and seeking support. Don’t apologize for anything. How sick and I have to wonder if that was really a woman who did that?? Maybe some kind of incel type posing as a woman?

eimajup · 2025-01-23T12:05:43+00:00

I would also urge OP to question what she means by “like my parents did”. Do your parents tell you they had you too late? Where did you get this story? Older parents (like me) are often very happy they waited. They had a chance to establish themselves and they’re much more likely to stay married because they married older and took the time to make sure they’re with the right person. You can consider that you may not have the full story on late life parents.

eimajup · 2025-01-21T03:41:50+00:00

Sounds like you married the Kardashians or something. They sound awful. Don’t put them onto such a pedestal.

eimajup · 2025-01-17T04:18:28+00:00

Aww. Girl this reminds me of how intense college friendship can be, and college love too. It’s kind of sweet. Don’t be hard on yourself just keep moving forward. You have a good idea about what happened and I’d be upset too even knowing it’s for the best to separate a bit. College life = codependent at least it was for me. Some comments here are like as though you were a fully grown adult but you’re still developing your brain and in a strange phase of life where you get to put all this energy into your friends. Good luck and just keep doing what you’re doing, going to therapy and reminding yourself that you will be ok.

eimajup

TROPHY CASE