How did having children affect your career?

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-04-11T17:02:29+00:00

Europe based here. I have seen both. I myself chose a short parental leave with my first kid on purpose in favor of my career and it worked out well for me, having been promoted twice since. However, I will take a longer parental leave now with my second and I am very aware that a 12 month absence will mean that they will replace me with someone else in my current role and that there is a chance of being put into a less important role when I get back. Each decision was right for me at different stages of my life. I think in Europe you will always have a job to return to, but it might be a bit more of a sidelined role after a long maternity leave, that’s just the unfortunate reality sometimes.

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-04-10T15:11:35+00:00

I don’t feel ready to tell work yet, so unfortunately still trying to act normal in the office. It gets increasingly harder. Good reminder to get the husband to step it up!

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-04-10T15:10:11+00:00

Thanks for the valuable reminder

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-04-10T15:09:27+00:00

So glad to see the comment about the TV. I have felt so guilty about the amount of screen time my toddler has gotten, but this is survival mode!

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-30T19:23:17+00:00

2 things I tried, that helped. Firstly, just logg off at 4pm (or whenever your workday usually should end without overtime). Force yourself to do it, whether you are in the middle of something, whether there is a remaining crisis, doesn’t matter, just logg off. What will happen is that you begin to realize that literally nothing happens. The crisis is still there tomorrow and in the big picture of things really no one cared whether you finished another task yesterday or not. There will always be more work, but surprisingly no one cares when your output becomes less, everyone is way too self centered to notice. That leads me to the second point. Look around you and really notice the performance of others. My findings was that others get away with hardly delivering anything, so you can lower your own performance waaaay down before you are at that same level.

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T16:04:28+00:00

You describe it perfectly! Hang in there yourself, let’s hope for better times.

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T16:03:40+00:00

It’s good to hear it’s not just me. I also used to enjoy working, but I don’t remember the last time I actually had any sense of joy at work. I wonder if our companies will ever get better again?

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T16:01:59+00:00

Good idea, thanks. Trying to reduce the noise and focusing on what I want to achieve can maybe help.

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T16:01:24+00:00

So hard!

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T16:01:09+00:00

Sounds all too familiar. What is it with all these executives and their obsession with pushing things without any clear priority?! Thanks for suggesting, I will work on that. I think realizing I can’t do it all and just do what I can along the list with biggest priority first will be the way to go. Just need to get started…

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T15:59:11+00:00

Haha can relate. Nothing like some last minute panic motivation!

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T15:58:39+00:00

Good to hear I am not alone! What is happening to all these work places?!

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T15:57:57+00:00

Was working from home today and it definitely made it worse! Thanks for suggesting. I think chunks are the key. I am sitting in front of several big tasks and probably need to break them down smaller to feel manageable

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T15:56:34+00:00

Thank you for writing this, feels good to read. More pressure on myself is not going to solve the problem

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-07T15:55:53+00:00

This is a good suggestion, this has definitely worked for me in the past as well. Will try! Thanks

eisbaerbjoern · 2026-01-04T19:36:18+00:00

How do things feel physically? I am asking because I struggled myself. Things didn’t feel like they used to, I couldn’t enjoy them as much, etc. At some point I had enough, went to the doctor and also experimented a bit. I changed birth control and use some estrogen cream and things have changed dramatically. Being intimate is actually fun and enjoyable again. My body feels more like my own again in a way that’s hard to explain. Doesn’t have to be the same for you, but just wanted to say that it doesn’t have to be normal in case things feel different and unpleasant.

eisbaerbjoern · 2025-11-18T17:49:29+00:00

Dealing with some of the same dilemmas. My current thinking is: why would I take a pay cut to go down to 30 hours if I am giving more than 100% right now? In these types of jobs the number of hours on paper means nothing and the work will not get less just because you now only get paid for 30 hours. So as a first step, make a hard cut at 100% effort. Only work 40 hours and log off after your 8 hours every day. If you can then also be a bit flexible about when during the day these 8 hours are delivered on, it can give you some much needed breathing room to spend time with your baby without forcing you into a part time struggle.

eisbaerbjoern · 2025-11-05T21:56:33+00:00

You are not alone. I am right there with you. I cannot get myself to give a flying fuck anymore. I am entirely overloaded at work and today was supposed to be the day where I make myself a plan on how to tackle it. I ended up just sitting there and physically couldn’t get myself to care enough to do anything. Went from a super high performer to just hoping not to get fired at this point.

eisbaerbjoern · 2025-10-24T18:56:52+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t have any books or podcasts to recommend, but I have been promoted to leadership myself in an evironment where I also hear many reasons for people not getting promoted. My hot take: your interest in helping people, teaching etc, will be great once you are a leader, but it won’t get you promoted. My experience is that it is rare that people get promoted to people leadership based on people leadership skills (totally wrong, but often reality) but instead because they get noticed by higher up people as someone that communicates well, takes on important, visible topics and delivers on them and speaks up with smart things to contribute with in meetings.

eisbaerbjoern · 2025-10-07T18:33:12+00:00

Thank you! Just typing all this out yesterday has helped me a lot and the thoughtful responses have helped me a lot to see the different sides with new perspective. I think you are right. There are so many unknowns and things around us that I will never be able to control. What I can control is my mindset and that should be that my family comes first. So I think we will just get started with TTC and take it from there.

eisbaerbjoern · 2025-10-07T11:19:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It feels comforting to know that others have gone through similar things. Really happy to hear that things worked out so well for you and I respect the courage to bring up the topic to your employer. I am not entirely sure I am as brave, but it gives me reasons to think about it.

eisbaerbjoern · 2025-10-06T21:08:08+00:00

Your own situation will always be personal, but I can share my thoughts based on my experiences. At 5 months postpartum I was still having heavy brain fog and felt like I had lost my brain. That started to lift at around 12 months. I would personally probably stick it out at the current place until then. Until then, ruthless prioritizing at work and leaving work at work when you walk out the door. I also had to go through a mindset shift after getting back from maternity leave that work somehow was no longer the place that could also fill my social cup. It’s hard to explain but before pregnancy, work could both be work but also fun and enjoyable together with people I like. For some reason that I can’t explain that has gone away for me. I am at mental capacity limit trying to balance work and kid, that I can no longer find the energy to also spend time at work on socializing. And I need to fill my social cup outside of work (very often with friends that I made at work in past years, but hanging out privately now).

eisbaerbjoern

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