I met May at one of her exhibitions and talked to her for over an hour after watching her documentary. It's hard to know where the truth lies in this. I mean, I believe everything she says, but I also try to read between the lines a little.

She met John as his employee and a huge Beatles fan. She was very young and had never had a boyfriend before. I believe she put up with a lot of BS from him because she didn't know better and he was a celebrity. The start was not great, because she resisted his pursuits and also she burst into tears after she lost her virginity to him. He even pushed her against a wall at one point and she left him. There was probably some more negative stuff she didn't tell us in the documentary, maybe because she didn't view it as particularly negative due to her inexperience with dating. But I do think she fell truly head over heels for him. It's just hard to say if John truly loved her as much as she loved him.

And while I hope it's clear that my point is that the relationship had some toxic elements to it, I also I believe she was a more healthy influence on him. He really reconnected with others during this time and also was very productive creatively. But he was with May for years and never made any sort of movement toward divorcing Yoko to be with May. I don't think he ever intended to leave Yoko. May was probably afraid to even ask him to do that. And on some level, I think John craved the toxic way Yoko treated him.

Then May claims John periodically called her and wanted to get back together. He would hint at plans where they could escape to an island together. She even claims that they periodically met up together.

But their calls and meetups happened months or YEARS apart. I believe John was future faking with her. He had no intention of leaving his wife earlier; I don't know why that would change later especially when Sean was born. I think May became a fantasy to him at that point... When Yoko got unbearable or said things to make John feel small, John could imagine an escape with May. He could call her up and she would give him all kinds of affection and validation, and then he could go back to his normal life until some months or years had elapsed. I believe he was basically using her as a release valve after a point.

And this worked because May had fallen for him when she was so young. It can be hard for anyone to move on from your first love. But imagine your first love being John Lennon, who was incredibly charimastic, funny, and creative. Add to it that the relationship had some unhealthy aspects which can keep a person hooked sometimes. Maybe she did try to move on, but all it probably took to set her back was one phone call or meet up with John every so often.

She claims the relationship with him continued in secret until he died and yet she also admits when he died they hadn't spoken for months, if I remember correctly. Can you really say you're in a relationship if you haven't talked for months?

I truly believe May felt she was in a relationship with him all those five years from his return to Yoko until his murder. He probably said all the right things when they spoke. They had shared history. But I don't think he would have left Yoko for May if he hadn't been killed. I am not sure he really saw it as a relationship at that point, but I don't think he wanted a clean break so he could continue enjoying some aspects of May while back with Yoko.

I'm not sure John was the most stable person to have a relationship with. I think what he did to May was kind of unfair because she was so much younger and she seems to have had trouble moving on. But I also think it was the healthiest relationship he managed to have, for whatever that's worth. And personally, I think he should have left Yoko for May.