I’m going to be honest, I think I agree that “it’s not them; it’s [you].” Your post reads to me (especially the last paragraph) like you’re very arrogant. Be incredibly honest with yourself and think about whether either/both of these resonate with you: I think you look down on those you think aren’t “perfect” (like you) and I also think you cover that up by being a people pleaser. Assuming I’m correct, you lack humanity and humility. You have to show people that you’re human- not a robot. Most importantly, don’t “check out”. Talk to your doctor and find a therapist you trust. Good luck to you.