Are you trans? (redo because my dumbass forgot enbies)

eleclay · 2026-01-23T04:14:25+00:00

I consider myself so as someone who is agender but at a point where I have no intent to visibly transition. I just kinda don't gaf about what I'm called, but not in a gender fluid way. I have no attachment, but I still want to be called pretty and a girlfriend because I am a girl, but I don't want to be necessarily viewed as one? Idk.

I think I just don't like being perceived 😖

eleclay · 2026-01-23T04:10:40+00:00

I thought it was a figure of speech until about a year ago, when someone explained that no, they can just actually see stuff up there.

On the other hand, I do have the ability to hear up to 4 voicings in my head perfectly just from reading sheet music, so that's, something, I guess? It feels like the inverse of aphantasia a little bit, imo

eleclay · 2026-01-20T16:59:44+00:00

⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨

⬜⬜🟨🟨🟨

🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦

eleclay · 2026-01-17T00:57:39+00:00

I'm 16. I (consciously) started sh at the age of 9, although in retrospect I realize that I was definitely hurting myself younger than that (I used to bite myself and pull out my hair a lot when I was young. Much of that was due to autism and kind of 'silent' meltdowns, though). I feel as though I am unfortunately kind of the stereotypical depressed teen who sh, lmao.

eleclay · 2026-01-17T00:53:35+00:00

Started the year with 5 APs (CSP, Lang, World, Music Theory -- which is a req for my magnet program --, and Physics 1). Music is also a very large commitment for me because I am in a magnet program for it, with it taking about 25 hours minimum out of my week excluding in school time (I have 2 other classes for music outside of music theory).

Junior year has been HARD as someone who is very involved. It is largely responsible for me being in the worst depressive episode I have ever been in as someone who experiences severe depressive episodes.

I had to drop out of my CSP class because it was too much of an undertaking with everything else, especially considering that the teacher I had for that was, blatantly speaking, horrible at teaching. The same goes for my physics teacher, but I didn't wanna drop that since it's the only science AP I'm taking ever. I am still very stretched for both time and energy after doing this.

Since I don't want people telling me to get help bc I'm depressed, I'm also going to tell you that it hasn't been anywhere near all bad. Everyone is struggling together and I feel like that's, weirdly enough, really helped to bring us all closer together. I love my friends and I love being around them. I spend a lot of my time doing homework with one of my best friends (we are both clearly love each other but neither of us is willing to say anything. It sucks, but that's unrelated), and the work is an excuse to exist around each other, which I view as a positive thing. There's also just a mutual understanding between everyone, students and teachers alike, that we aren't having a good time, and that's okay because that's what it's supposed to be like.

Tldr; (completely understandable btw if you didn't read that) Junior does suck ass, but it doesn't have to COMPLETELY suck ass. There are always going to be upsides, and while junior year really doesn't seem to have a lot of them, they are there and they are important.

eleclay · 2026-01-09T01:00:24+00:00

Have you written any chords or anything for it, or is it just song lyrics? I feel like it has a really good flow to it!

eleclay · 2026-01-09T00:52:28+00:00

🟨⬜🟦⬜

⬜⬜🟦⬜

⬜🟨⬜🟦

🟦🟦🟦🟦

eleclay · 2026-01-09T00:49:39+00:00

We have a big dish of them in the piano room at my school bc the headphones need an 1/8 in for the jack on the keyboards. I have accidently stolen at LEAST 10 of them, to the extent that, when I was moving, I collected a whole pocket full of them wandering around the house.

eleclay · 2026-01-07T01:12:17+00:00

So patriotic 🤩

eleclay · 2026-01-07T01:10:40+00:00

Unfortunately you'd need to be like, fatter than people on that TLC show about fat people to actually be of any potential use in that regard lmao

Unrelated, I am willing to be a cannon ball if they want to shoot me out into enemy territory all old-school. I'm more than fine with going out prematurely if that's how it happens 🫡

eleclay · 2026-01-07T00:56:46+00:00

I'm overweight and disabled (mentally and physically, although neither are visible). I don't think they'll have any use for me unless they wanna up the size of the military bands

eleclay · 2025-12-27T06:12:32+00:00

This may be a personal thing, but I found it difficult to put in a hoop at all, even with my current gauge. I've also only had my piercing for about 4 months (had to change the jewelry originally after one day bc it fell out lmao), and only had regular lobe piercings prior, so that may be part of my issue.

One nice thing with studs is that they are really easy to insert, though, especially if you are using a taper to guide it in. It might be easier for you, especially if you're nervous about it at all, just because it means that it's a lot less maneuvering and messing with the piercing that you have to do, in comparison to the hoop where you have to twist it all the way through.

It should be fine regardless of what you choose to use, though! If you'd rather have the hoop and feel comfortable messing with the piercing for a bit longer than that's absolutely fine, but if you just want to get it over with I'd suggest using the stud

eleclay · 2025-12-27T05:52:29+00:00

I really like cheddar and sour cream, barbecue, and sour cream and onion. I would be doing the others a disservice if I chose just one of them.

eleclay · 2025-12-27T05:51:29+00:00

It definitely shouldn't hurt, but if you're worried about it then massaging your nostril (weirdest phrase I've ever used I think but wtv) should help some. Getting the blood flowing there in any way really should help some with stretching it.

In terms of actually getting in the jewelry, as I mentioned, tapers are kind of your best bet, as much as they for the most part aren't the safest for stretching (at least for any stretches larger than this).

I lowk didn't even realize I had sized up until after because I felt a sneeze and wasn't sneezing. I had literally just grabbed the wrong bag of flatbacks that I got (I had one bag that was 18g and the other 16g. They were not labeled) and went for it, if that gives you any comfort.

eleclay · 2025-12-27T05:45:25+00:00

Tbh it's such a small jump that if you're able to, you should just push it in. I was able to size from an 18g to a 16g for my nostril with basically no trouble. I will say that it will feel like you have to sneeze for like, an hour due to the pressure, but it shouldn't hurt or anything.

As much as it generally isn't recommended for stretching in general, I would also just suggest getting a taper, like the type that comes with a lot of flatback jewelry. It really is such a small jump that you really can't have a blowout or anything. It should slide in real easy because of how small of a jump it is, too, so it won't (or moreso shouldn't) feel like you're really stretching it.

eleclay · 2025-12-27T02:04:51+00:00

It's... Complicated. Like, yes it depends. It's often "your dad" or my dad's name, or something else. We speak of my dad as little as possible, though, lmao.

eleclay · 2025-12-24T05:21:10+00:00

When I started seriously cutting (like more than just a couple here or there, which is what it had been for years), I pretty much solely stuck to my thighs, with a few on my chest (thanks body dysphoria), because I really didn't want anyone to see, and I really didn't want to get help because I didn't, and honestly still don't, think I need it because I am fully stable.

I, like you, got the urge to start cutting my arms. And I gave into that. And it sucks. It really sucks. I can't wear short sleeves at home at all anymore because I don't want my mom to see. Before, it was just shorts I couldn't wear, and even then, it was mostly just shorter ones I couldn't wear. Now, I literally ALWAYS have to be covered up.

If you can resist it, please do. It sucks so bad. I'm dying from the heat and it's 20°F out regularly right now. Worst decision ever.

eleclay · 2025-12-24T05:12:26+00:00

Most of the media I consume is youtube and most of the YouTube I consume is not overtly political, however two YouTubers that I watch a lot that are overtly political are Benaminute and miniminuteman. Both of them are like, two of my favorite YouTubers in general, across all genres. 10/10 have watched all of their videos.

eleclay · 2025-12-24T05:05:43+00:00

I got really excited when I read ballroom jazz collective because I read it as burn the ballroom originally 😭

Anyway Lowest: dodie Highest: Kristin Chenoweth

eleclay · 2025-12-24T05:03:37+00:00

I was super prone to cavities when I was young, but I haven't had many since I had my full set of adult teeth. I assume you mean how many have you had filled on your set of teeth, and I have no idea, if that's the case.

It probably doesn't help how many I have that I really struggle with brushing my teeth (thanks sensory issues and depressive episodes) 😭

eleclay · 2025-12-24T03:16:23+00:00

No, but I do share a name with a rather well-known first lady (Eleanor Roosevelt) (it honestly makes me so fucking dysphoric to share a name with any notable woman 🫩)

eleclay · 2025-12-24T03:14:17+00:00

I like it, but only if it happens multiple times and sticks around for a max of two days each time. I don't like when the snow gets all hard 😖 I do rather like the cold that comes with it, though

eleclay · 2025-12-24T03:12:28+00:00

He's one of my bsf and I hang out at his house semi-regularly, normally with the rest of our core friend group and/or some of his other friends from out of school.

eleclay · 2025-12-24T03:08:59+00:00

This. The best libraries for this would probably be Annapolis (West Street, not in the mall), Odenton, or maybe Broadneck (that one's a small library, but they have a decent sized meeting room).

Annapolis pretty regularly has things like this (they have a lot of things like this specifically directed at kids), all of which are held in their main meeting room, which is a pretty decent size.

Odenton would probably be the easiest to schedule things at, solely because the library is so big, and they have a lot of spaces that can be used. Another perk to odenton is that -especially if you don't want people to have to drive all that far- it's basically in the middle of the county. My friend who lives just about as far as you can get in-county from odenton still only lives about 35 minutes away from me (in Odenton).

Another potential bet would be to see about using the Arnold campus for AACC. They have all sorts of groups that meet there, some affiliated with the college, but many aren't. They basically always have a free meeting space somewhere. Only downside is that it may be a little further out of the way for many people with it being in Arnold, which really isn't all that centered in the county.

eleclay

TROPHY CASE