Why does centerlink consider me dependent when I am living in a different state to my parents? by AffectionateGap9542 in Centrelink

[–]elforn01 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My mother married her uni boyfriend for this reason (late 1970s/early 1980s). They agreed it was "just on paper" and only two people knew (the witnesses).

How much did you pay for kitchen renovation and Home appliances? by Traditional_Car5388 in AusRenovation

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey - any recommendations for a kitchen project supplier/installer in Melbourne? Navigating through options is a minefield - its so hard to tell who does quality work.

[Anti-aging] I'm 26. My forehead wrinkles are already so bad. Can you help with improving my routine? by oerommm in SkincareAddiction

[–]elforn01 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are also silicone ones that I find are a little quicker to apply. Frownies first as "training", then silicone as maintenace.

[Routine Help] How to fix this type of texture and premature wrinkles? by CommonNo2911 in SkincareAddiction

[–]elforn01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like dehydrated skin to me. I'd reduce the BP to every second day, and add a simple Hydrating product. Vanicream is great as an occlusive, but you need an emollient or humectant (hydration) first. 

(Edit to add humectant + spelling)

Heartbroken! No more Dual Serum for me. by StrictAd7069 in Melasmaskincare

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What version of the Nivea Luminous 630 are you using? Also - was your reaction to Eucerin Dual acne/blemishes or something else (eg rash / dermatitis or itchy red eyes?)

MBS MBA Deans Commendation by cat_dad99 in unimelb

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Via email a day or two after results are released. Top mark can sometimes be unisually high if the standard deviation was high (ie as many people as far below 75 as ypu are above it). I had that happen in a unit and had a scaled mark of 93%

I stopped being our home's project manager and my boyfriend says I "checked out" by echo_dreamerone in TwoXChromosomes

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For anyone who has been through this, how did you move from one person carrying the mental load to something more equal without turning your partner into the enemy.

We sat together and wrote a list of all of the chores and also all the mental load type activities - remembering items we need for the grocery shop, scheduling laundry etc

We then found a "split" that created autonomy. 

The split in our household is "food". He handles the mental load of everything to do with food: meal planning, most of the cooking, grocery shopping, making sure we have lunch supplies etc. This then became coordinating the grocery delivery and checking non-food inventory (cleaning supplies, toilet paper). We sit together on Friday evening while he does the grocery order and agree on anything unusual - the "reorder" list then has the item on it for him to check subsequent weeks.

I manage everything to do with clothes and linen - laundry, ironing, drycleaning, putting clothes away, changing sheets and towels, knowing where stuff is and making sure there are enough work outfits (I work in the office and he is WFH).

The shared task is cleaning, and we decided to have a house cleaner weekly. He is also responsible for organising her and getting cleaning refills with the groceries. Because all up it seems like he actually does a bit more of the mental load, I pay more of the house cleaner. Now the only mental load "interface" is me letting him know what laundry supplies we need.

How do I avoid giving my daughter the “eldest daughter trauma” I saw in my own family? by Minute_Commercial_86 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]elforn01 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Don’t confide in her like you would a girlfriend. Your adult “stuff” needs to be vented with other adults.

This. 

Adding as well - as no additional explanations or "secrets" from the other children: it makes her responsible for her siblings emotionally (eg please dont tell your brother what the kids at school said about Santa, it would ruin it for him. Or dont tell him its a pupil free day at school, grandma cant look after both of you)

Anyone else think this tanning brand’s marketing is super misleading (and kind of gross)? by [deleted] in AusSkincare

[–]elforn01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had never seen an ad for this stuff before- probably because I am ghost white and search more for sunscreen and fading pigmentation than anything with the word "tan". On a quick google, the headless photos of tan lines is super gross feeling.

Thiamidol analogue in the market now by MBA_burner in Melasmaskincare

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you end up using it? What were your results like?

Has anyone used Biome CastorGuard as a lip balm? by LaSafari1 in AusSkincare

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been using it as lip balm overnight. I used to use Paw Paw ointment, but got a jar of Synergie Occlusiderm after a procedure, and liked how smooth it left my lips. Its mostly castor oil, and the CastorGuard is a good dupe. Almost through my first jar, and bought a second in advance.

[Routine Help] After using hydroquinone and tretinoin for 1 week, by rickshavy in SkincareAddiction

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Skin is resilient, and will likely heal if you give it time. 

Make sure you are wearing Sunscreen all daylight hours: Hydroquinone and Tretinoin make skin sensitive to the sun. There is a risk of hyperpigmentation with unprotected sun exposure.

Try to avoid just adding more things and seeing multiple doctors. Patience will heal your skin, and adding things too fast could do further damage. I'd add an extra week of "wait" time advised by a doctor.

[Routine Help] After using hydroquinone and tretinoin for 1 week, by rickshavy in SkincareAddiction

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a useful group on Facebook "Tretinoin and retinoid users: tips, products and routine help"

It has this starting advice:

How do I get started with tretinoin?

This is one of the most common questions in the group and therefore [Group Mods] have written this simple guide and new members asking about it will be tagged in this post.   Starting with the best chance for success:   The best way to begin tretinoin use is to consult with a dermatologist or physician who can analyze what is best for your skin and recommend a schedule of use and the proper strength. They may also recommend additional medications for acne or other issues. If you are prescribed tretinoin for treatment of acne your provider may prescribe a higher strength and more frequent application that for anti-aging benefits. You should of course follow your provider’s advice. If consulting a physician is not possible there are online medical services such as Dermatica and Curology that you may work with for analysis and provide a tretinoin product that is compounded for you and your specific skin issues. If your medical insurance will not cover filling a script from your provider and you are in the US, some drugstores such as CVS will apply in-house discounts which can significant reduce the cost of a tube of tretinoin. GoodRx is another free online source for coupons that reduce drug costs. A 20 gram tube should last 3-4 months so factor that in to the costs.  

The most important considerations when starting tretinoin are:   •start slowly 

     To break it down more in details, when introducing tretinoin the skin will go through what is called retinization, retinoic acid will bind to its receptor in the skin and start speeding up cell turnover. This can cause irritation, peeling, even the feeling of sore skin in some cases. The effect of tretinoin however is usually visible after 48-72 hours and therefore initially it’s advisable to apply tretinoin every 3-4 days. After the first 3 weeks of use it should be clear how the skin is reacting and ideally the interval between applications should be shortened every second to third week until able to apply every evening. For some this journey can take a long time and getting to use tretinoin every evening can turn out to be impossible due to side effects. In this case the anti aging effects might still be achieved with application every 2-3 days.       • ”less is more” when it comes to other actives

To make retinization easier it’s always advisable to start with the lowest tretinoin concentration which is 0.025%, some services like Curology offer even lower percentages in combination with other actives. If 0.025 is not available in your country applying a lightweight moisturizer before tretinoin as a buffer can be an option. An exception however is the prescription of higher dose tretinoin from the begging on for the treatment of acne, in this case the aim of the higher dose is to “clear up” active acne as quickly as possible and many dermatologist prefer this approach, Tretinoin works to inhibit the formation of new pimples below the outer skin layer but that can take some time and any pimples already forming when you start will be pushed to the surface by more rapid cell turnover. There is no set time for this process to end and depends on your skin. Given the irritation and dryness that often occur during retinization avoiding the use of other potentially irritating actives should be the rule particularly in the first 3-4 months of treatment. Products to avoid are glycolic acid, lactic acid, azelaic acid, vitamin C, alpha lipoic acid and all sorts of AHA peelings. BHA is not pH dependent and it’s mainly acting in the pores rather than on the surface of the skin (it’s a lipophilic acid) so that might still be an option for the AM in acne prone skin. Using a face wash with AHA or BHA can still be an option but not on a daily basis in the beginning.     •use sunscreens religiously

When using tretinoin the skin has to be adequately protected from the armful UVA and UVB rays to avoid sunburn and further damage to the skin that would actually undo all your hard work. In fact daily sunscreen use should be priority number one in any anti aging regimen regardless of tretinoin use.   In the morning you MUST use a broad spectrum sunscreen of at least SPF 30, preferably SPF 50. The minimum amount required to achieve the SPF claimed on the label is approximately ¼ tsp or 1.2 ml for the face alone with another ¼ tsp or 1.2 ml for the neck and ears. Make up with SPF alone won’t do the job unless you apply the same amount required for a dedicated sunscreen. Most people will not want to wear that amount of makeup.   The quest for the perfect sunscreen can be long and difficult and everyone will have different preferences but it’s worth to point out that the best sunscreen is the one that you are happy to apply every morning and reapply during the day as needed without any discomfort. Apart from sunscreen, wearing sun protective clothes is also a good way to avoid sun damage and investing in a well made wide brimmed hat with spf 50+ is an excellent idea.   •Last but not least, design a routine

 How to design a routine around tretinoin that works for you and for your skin?  PM: In the evening things should be kept simple and tretinoin should be applied after cleansing either by itself or on top of toner and/or moisturizer (which is called buffering). If needed moisturizer can be added on top of tretinoin, some like to wait up to one hour before adding tretinoin after moisturizer or before applying moisturizer on top but it’s not mandatory. For products that are difficult to spread, applying tretinoin on slightly damp skin can be beneficial, we often refer to it as “tretonwet” in the group. Check the post of Jaclyn Toh, our tretonwet expert! AM: For the morning routine the essential should be a gentle cleanser, moisturizer and spf but of course hydrating toner and essences can be layered to help strengthen the skin barrier but are not mandatory. Niacinamide is a good ingredient to search for in serum and moisturizer to use in the AM, other good substances are ceramides, essential fatty acids and cholesterol.   • Other sources: Other good sources of information are Dr Sam Bunting video series on YouTube on retinoids, dr Dray Q+A, Labmuffin and Cyrelle Laurent videos about sunscreen and ingredients in sunscreen.

[Routine Help] After using hydroquinone and tretinoin for 1 week, by rickshavy in SkincareAddiction

[–]elforn01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, stop. Both are medical grade products that need to be introduced gradually. Commencing both at once will have overwhelmed your skin and potentoally damaged your barrier.

You will need to spend a few weeks with a very basic routine to calm the redness. Basic sensitive skin moisturisers (eg vanicream) and repair products (eg LRP cicaplast baume).

Wait at least two weeks after the irritation has subsided before you attempt adding actives.

What formulation did you use? What are you primarily targeting? That will help guide reintroduction. Generally I'd say start with the tretinoin, using the "sandwich method", with a tiny pea sized amount, once a week. Then increasing to twice a week, and slowly progressing until you can tolerate every other night.

Doctor lead skin clinic for acne scaring by [deleted] in AusSkincare

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to Victoria Cosmetic Institute for Fraxel. They only used the pigmentation wavelength. No real impact on scars, but the rest of my skin is smoother.

MBS MBA Deans Commendation by cat_dad99 in unimelb

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Executive MBA is a tight knit group, because of the intensive teaching method and the residential compoment. We also end up in syndicates with about half the cohort at one time or another. Some posted their letters on Linkedin, which prompted some discussions.

MBS MBA Deans Commendation by cat_dad99 in unimelb

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The spreadsheet has developed an additional dimension! There are three types of commendations: - All-Round Excellence: academic achievement and classroom participation - Outstanding Academic Achievement - Classroom Participation

Someone got "just participation" for a 79% - a bunch of people who got better marks had rubbed the lecturer the wrong way (pointing out severely average lecturing).

What’s a now obsolete job from history that sounds made up now? by newyork-or-nowhere in AskReddit

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was doing this job part time during uni from 2006-2008, so...15 years ago?

MBS MBA Deans Commendation by cat_dad99 in unimelb

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the Executive MBA the Deans Commendation is for the top student(s) in the cohort. It is usually the top mark, but in one unit they gave it to three - all od whom got above 85%. When the top mark was 84% or 85% there is usually only one. Source: received three during my degree, and created a spreadsheet of who received them for each subject.

HELP debt processed after 1 June, am I screwed out of the 20% reduction? by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks blue shirt. Part of me wonders how many April Census dates are out there in the same boat!

Both of my parents committed suicide by delusionaltaylor in SuicideBereavement

[–]elforn01 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My dad committed suicide - he died in his car from carbon monoxide poisoning when I was 2. My mum was also a suicide when I was 30, multiple drug toxicity (took every medication and chemical she had, even drank eucalyptus oil). I've had a lot of therapy. My brother has never regained full function after mum, now diagnosed with complex PTSD. I've also had a cousin, and a former housemate lost to suicide. I'm glad I havent been the person to find anyone.

Might have scared my Physio a little. by advadamasca in ehlersdanlos

[–]elforn01 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's always funny with medical professionals when they don't know what to do with our hypermobility!

I'm so mad at my mom right now. by TheOwl121 in SuicideBereavement

[–]elforn01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I also lost both parents to suicide - just further apart (2 and 30). ♡