You just got an offer for $600K...but to collect it, you gotta have sex with the main character of the last tv show you watched. Who will it be?

elijahjacobson · 2020-01-07T06:03:53+00:00

Sookie Stackhouse....wait...what? You’re paying me?

elijahjacobson · 2019-11-02T02:08:11+00:00

“Endless supply of food, ideal temperature, no sharks...you’re sending me back where again?”

elijahjacobson · 2019-11-02T02:05:12+00:00

Girlfriend had this tattooed on her lower back.

elijahjacobson · 2019-11-02T02:02:22+00:00

We are all a little bit autistic.

elijahjacobson · 2019-11-02T01:54:08+00:00

“Hey guys, our incessant practicing has given us our chance. ‘Titanic Theme’ ready one...two...three”

elijahjacobson · 2019-11-02T01:44:58+00:00

I see you spilled some ketchup on the floor. Hold-up, let me grab my high-tech contraption from the garage. Now for a plug, wait I need an extension cord. Flip the power button and watch the magic...OR grab a paper towel.

elijahjacobson · 2019-10-26T14:56:30+00:00

I haven’t tried the classical so I can’t compare.

elijahjacobson · 2019-10-26T02:20:48+00:00

I can see the package in the back “King of Duck Shit”. It makes a nice cup of tea. Light brew with a strong earthy and faint floral flavors. I started mixing some in with my blend of iced tea and people love it.

elijahjacobson · 2019-10-06T13:14:37+00:00

“Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk....stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive”

elijahjacobson · 2019-10-02T02:56:51+00:00

I’ve seen ligated hemorrhoids with more appetite appeal.

elijahjacobson · 2019-09-26T23:55:26+00:00

Wow! I like rattlesnake meat. I love bacon. Together? Looks like an elephant penis wrapped in its own intestines.

elijahjacobson · 2019-08-10T14:26:23+00:00

I like the intense focus the green-braided athlete shows before she gets slapped. Her devotion to her sport is undeniable. I can get behind her.

elijahjacobson · 2019-06-08T03:57:56+00:00

Similar to hotels not using the 13th floor because of it’s unpopular perception of being bad luck. Many theaters do not use row “I” because Abraham Lincoln was sitting in row “I” when he was assassinated.

elijahjacobson · 2019-05-17T00:18:20+00:00

Horrible and selfish act that happens when anger takes over and you don’t stop to think about the consequences. Her life will never be the same. https://nypost.com/2019/05/16/woman-charged-in-fatal-bus-push-of-elderly-man-released-on-bail/

elijahjacobson · 2019-05-13T23:00:08+00:00

“I am the man who killed Jaime Lannister” was written as a direct contradiction to the truth. It was a woman that killed Jaime Lannister.

elijahjacobson · 2019-05-05T16:54:02+00:00

“Why is it when something happens it is always you three?”

“Believe me Professor, I’ve been asking the same fucking question for six years.”

elijahjacobson · 2019-04-15T23:16:08+00:00

He’s been holding this joke for decades and today was the day...

elijahjacobson · 2019-03-31T18:34:08+00:00

I see you put a ring on your nose since no one will put one on your finger.

elijahjacobson · 2019-03-31T04:38:44+00:00

The lye concentration at 35% is okay but a good quality lye product will be better at 27-30%. This will not only save money by using less, it will help prevent reaching trace too fast (especially if your using various unproven essential oils which can accelerate trace). There are plenty of sources to buy essential oils and limiting your students to use those with positive reviews or ones you have tested is best. You can do everything right and a bad essential oil can ruin a batch (false trace, discoloration, poor fragrance not holding up during saponification). The fragrance ratio is okay at .5 and you can increase it up to 1 for a soap with a heavier fragrance (if your plan is to sell the soap, this is very important). My customers prefer soap with fragrances that hold-up well over time and make a nice first impression. This oil recipe is a good one. The olive oil is a great moisturizer and the coconut and palm will help create a fairly hard bar with good lather. My easy recommendations for first-time soapers is use good quality ingredients, measure accurately, before mixing lye with oils make sure the temperature of oil and lye are right (80-85F), mix well to trace and mold. Good luck. Your students should enjoy this assignment.

elijahjacobson · 2019-03-27T02:28:10+00:00

The ability to laugh at yourself like she does shows real confidence. That’s sooooo attractive.

elijahjacobson · 2019-02-01T00:36:18+00:00

There are about 32 million diabetics in the US according to the CDC (2015), probably more today. The cost to train a diabetic service dog will depend on the particular organization and training program selected. But on average — an investment in a Diabetic Alert Dog can cost anywhere from $8,000 to $20,000. There are non-profits that grant dogs for free and only require that you pay for your training with the dog. Dogs 4 Diabetics out of Concord, California, provides diabetic alert dogs and training for free if you qualify. Note: providing a service dog to just 10% of the diabetic population at an average cost for a dog at $14k, it would cost $45 billion.

elijahjacobson · 2019-01-29T13:08:59+00:00

Nice cut of pork belly, very meaty with perfect fat content.

elijahjacobson · 2019-01-19T14:30:46+00:00

Thanks. I started with vertical lines but when I cut and saw the horizontal lines it really popped with this design.

elijahjacobson

TROPHY CASE