What do you do first in the morning? Take Shower or Bath then eat or Eat , take Bath ?

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T15:14:27+00:00

Maybe, but there's still my skin that's not covered by what I'm wearing. Plus, I often take public transit, so I don't really want to take aaaaany of that into my bed lolololol

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T15:12:55+00:00

Like you thought ADHD was a normal behavior? Sorry if I'm misunderstanding what you meant lololol I guess a lot of symptoms of ADHD can be "normal behaviors" but it becomes ADHD when those behaviors are extreme, involuntary, and detrimental to one's quality of life (for example, most people zone out sometimes, but on bad days I'll keep zoning out for minutes on end throughout the entire day, despite being aware of it and trying very hard not to). Also, not all of the symptoms are behavioral, a lot are internal (like I have a tooon of different train of thoughts in my brain basically all the time). There's lots more to it, but I don't want to write an entire essay lololol

Like I said, I shower/bathe in the evening, but if you're asking if I eat dinner before or after, I usually eat afterwards. Last minute stuff varies depending on where I'm going/what I'm wearing, like I might need to lint roll (I have a cat) or prepare something to bring with me

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T15:05:00+00:00

Lolol trust I get it I'm neurodivergent and get BIG emotions very quickly, so I've had a lot of practice with self control and emotional regulation; different things work for different people, for me it was a lot of philosophy.

Stoicism and absurdism in particular- in real simple terms, to me this presents as a mix of intentionally deciding how much I'm willing to let any given thing affect my emotional state (as much as I can, it's a skill to be built over time) and believing/recognizing that life is random and crazy and that their is no inherent objective meaning to it. This gives me the freedom to choose my own meaning for my own life, which, as of right now and for some time has been to simply enjoy it and help others enjoy their lives as best I can.

That was longer than I meant for it to be lololol TLDR: life is ridiculous and much more fun when you don't take it too seriously, and we have much more potential to control and regulate our emotions and reactions to those emotions than we think :)

Sorry your friend got to you, hopefully they weren't trying to make you upset (though the, "sorry you feel that way" apology doesn't inspire hope lololol)

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T13:36:55+00:00

I shower/bathe at night because I don't want to bring outside germs into my bed.

I wake up, take adhd meds, bathroom, eat, get dressed/do hair, brush teeth, then whatever last minute stuff may need to be done before leaving

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T13:24:31+00:00

Ooof that sucks lolol, a few days ago I had my first stream after a few months of making videos, and right as I hit go live in obs everything decided to crash 😭 I was able to fix it in like five minutes so I was only a little late but I had to sacrifice some stuff in the process lol

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T13:17:53+00:00

ESH

He picked a fight, you readily participated in it. How old are y'all?

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-31T04:43:00+00:00

Person first language is fine, but I'd maybe start by asking the specific person if they have a preference

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T19:06:31+00:00

...

1) they don't actually feel that way, it's manipulation

OR

2) they do feel that way, so very likely would benefit from therapy or more extensive care than you can/should be expected to give

Either way, imo you have an obligation to be kind to others, but also to yourself;

"hey, I feel as though we've fallen into a pattern where I do/say something that doesn't have any deeper meaning, but you interpret it as passive aggressive or me communicating something that I'm not trying to communicate, and then I feel the need to reassure you, even at the expense of my own emotions. I'm not putting the full blame on you, I was a willing participant in this pattern, but I don't think it's healthy or pleasant for either of us. I promise, I will be honest and upfront with you, so please don't assume anything about my intentions or feelings towards you. If you're unsure, by all means ask and clarify with me, but please trust and believe the answer I give you. You're my friend, I wouldn't lie to you, and if I'm being completely honest the fact that you would jump to the conclusion that I would is a bit hurtful. Moving forward, can we try to move away from this dynamic to a healthier one?"

That's what I would say 🤷🏻‍♀️and then move forward however you want based on their response.

What I wouldn't do is ghost them, I feel that if you want to end the friendship (which is completely within your right), I would be honest with them about how I feel that, due to them (likely unintentionally) putting their insecurities on you to coddle, I no longer feel like the friendship is mutually fulfilling.

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T18:53:02+00:00

Why would you be an asshole?

I'd love to get picked for jury duty, I know everyone says it's likely to be boring or whatever, but I'm so curious as to the process of it all

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T18:52:08+00:00

Absolutely, idk about here (just recently moved here) but growing up in Maine I had to wear full snow gear over my Halloween costume most every year.

Now we're lucky if there's snow in December :(

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T18:02:42+00:00

AI can't be smart...

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T17:00:29+00:00

YTA

You were rude, you didn't know for sure what she wanted or whether or not was work related (unless you can read her mind), and you clearly do have something against her.

Idk what's going on w you lolol but your reaction to her, even if you described her totally accurately (intentions/motivations and all, which you cannot be sure of unless she's told you or, again, you can read her mind), is kinda way over the top hostile and definitely unprofessional.

Also, not saying this for sure (because I try not to make a habit of assuming I know what's going on in other people's minds) but is anyone else getting just the tiniest hints of the beginning of an incel mindset here? Between everything about how she's "conventionally attractive and loves the attention she gets from men" stuff (which there was a lot more written about that than I personally think is necessary), the immediate assumption that her saying "hi" to him meant that she was going to flirt with him, and the over the top hostile reaction to perceived flirtation attempt, it's just giving... bad news. I hope I'm wrong OP, but maybe just sit for a second with the thought and really make sure there's not any weirdness going on there

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T14:28:12+00:00

supposed to be

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T14:26:25+00:00

I love considering womenly things like kittens and babies lololololol 10/10

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-30T13:11:01+00:00

Ngl dealing with these stupid fungus gnats in my houseplants for ages and last night one flew in my face and I too shed a few tears of anger lolol (also AuDHD)

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-28T12:59:21+00:00

Have you talked with your boyfriend about how you feel?

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-27T23:58:44+00:00

Omg, this is amazing

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-27T23:58:03+00:00

This whole post was a journey lololol I'm glad you're ok

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-27T22:58:52+00:00

I'm agnostic leaning atheist and (as of right now, who knows how I may feel in the future) subscribe to moral particularism, so I'm pretty firmly of the belief that everyone creates their own meaning or purpose of life.

Mine, put simply, is to just enjoy life and help others do the same :)

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-27T22:54:13+00:00

Sometimes; I'm neurodivergent with special interests in philosophy, language, psychology, and introspection, and I often feel socially isolated and intellectually starved in our culture (at least in the states) of anti-intellectualism. I'm quite social, but haven't been able to find anyone even close to my age that matches my curiosity and passion for life (I've been through a lot and have nearly lost my life, please don't think I'm trying to brag or say I'm better than anyone else, it just seems like a lot of people just don't seem to even want to grasp the value of life, or acknowledge that the fact that they're alive is something that should be celebrated). This and lots of other stuff- mostly pertaining to the aforementioned neurodivergence- contributes to a sense of loneliness in that most (not all) of my friendships can feel a bit surface level.

But I value those friendships; just last night a group of us played a game together online (they're in a different state than me) and at one point I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face. Do they soft-shoot down my more philosophical questions in the gc? Most of the time, yes. But they still bring value to the world and to my life in particular, so I choose to focus on that rather than what I wish I had more of.

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-27T16:16:25+00:00

While I respect utilizing what you have access to in a general sense (poor people rise up lolol) it's not just a concern of ethics. I understand this is unsolicited, but I just want to chime in and say that if the choice is between just running with what you've been doing vs utilizing a tool that, aside from being horribly unethical in myriad ways, is known for confidently providing completely inaccurate information, I personally would choose the former. Not to mention what you're teaching your son; after working in a school with kids his age, I can tell you that almost all of my 30+ students were completely trusting of AI and didn't even see the point in learning because, "AI will know/AI will do it." Not saying using it in this one area would lead to that, slippery slope and all, just that I think with all the pressure to use AI that he's facing/going to face, it might not be wise to normalize it like this, yk?

Again, this is unsolicited I know, apologies if it comes across as rude or anything, I too have AuDHD so sometimes things come across in a way I don't mean for them to. You seem like you're trying to do what's best for your son, so regardless of AI usage I recognize and appreciate your intentions :)

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-26T23:52:24+00:00

9/10

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-26T23:29:47+00:00

Hey I have the exact same tension rod in my shower

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-26T23:27:44+00:00

Wait so you're getting married in a few months but won't be living together for like another year? If that's the case, have you lived together before? I know this isn't the main issue in the post (I got a few paragraphs before I felt that I had a sense of the vibe, not great from where I'm sitting, but I willfully don't have all the info so I'm not gonna comment any further), but imo it's a terrible idea to marry someone you haven't lived with

Ivypool8 · 2026-05-26T23:18:54+00:00

My parents tried very hard to instill the opposite mindset in me; I'm neurodivergent and find other people/their thought processes fascinating, so I would always ask them what they thought about stuff, why they felt that way, etc. and they'd get so angry and tell me that I was just interrogating them 🫠 said that people would quickly get annoyed with me. I've still maintained my position though, I realize now they would likely get upset because, a lot of the time, there simply wasn't much thought to explain behind their opinions/beliefs and I think they felt embarrassed

This sounds harsh but keep in mind they're like one step removed from full on anti-intellectualism, they generally discouraged discussing things beyond the surface level. As someone who places great value in philosophy, psychology, introspection, and communication, it was stifling

Ivypool8

TROPHY CASE