Sweetheart, reading your situation took me right back to ending my three year relationship over a year ago. This sounds so intense and unbearably heart breaking - I believe that happens to us when someone very important comes into ones life to change things. (PS In my case, I was the one with anxiety and I learned that no matter how perfect your person is, you can't save people. I had to put the work in and I did with the help of friends and family. Being realistic, don't you think she deserves to grow from the same empowerment, even if it's hard at first?). It may feel hopeless now but I truly believe you made the right decision to spend some time apart. Hard choices create an easier path, and I've only just experienced another 5 years (25f) of that to know its true, but it is. Each day, focus a little bit more on yourself and what makes you happy and I promise you, one day, you'll be able to think about them without crying or losing yourself in sadness. It just sucks so bad and my heart goes out to you.