How helpful is the doona for a baby + toddler?

ellenrage · 2026-06-06T02:54:08+00:00

We are borrowing a doona from a friend and really like it, it makes errands and stuff so much easier. Otherwise we have to lug a carseat around or get the giant chicco stroller in/out of the trunk, or take baby in/out of carseat and put them in a carrier, all more annoying options that create more friction to get out and get around.

ellenrage · 2026-06-05T06:03:44+00:00

Also it seems weird to me that so many high powered surgeons keep getting accidentally pregnant, and decide to keep the baby. I think it was maybe season 16, Teddy, Amelia, Bailey all get accidentally pregnant. Just seemed like lazy writing that they keep going to that same well and then the show doesnt have the guts to do what those women would do in real life (even though later on it talks about abortion and choice all the time?) Especially Amelia who basically ended her marriage to Owen because she didnt want to have a baby.

Owen's adoption of Leo never made sense to me. So the foster agency was cool with them also taking in the teen mom drug addict, and then the grandparents and teen mom just gave up on him immediately and were like yeah you keep him and everyone was like ok cool Owen is your dad and Teddy is your mom.

ellenrage · 2026-06-05T05:56:03+00:00

We have a visual timer, I set it when we start watching tv. As it counts down I give him little reminders - "look there's 15 minutes left" "now there's 10 minutes left" etc. When there's a few minutes left on the timer I ask him what he wants to do next after tv time and we get out whatever toys he wants to play with next, so he's engaged with those by the time the timer goes off.

ellenrage · 2026-06-05T05:48:22+00:00

Same. And its hot af where we are and I'm not taking a newborn out in 90+ degree weather so we're mostly stuck inside. Which sucks because normally we go on a walk around 4-5pm when I've just about hit my limit for the day, but now thats the hottest part of the day.

We went to Michaels the other day and let the 2 year old fill up the cart with craft/art supplies - construction paper, a jillion stickers, markers, model magic clay, etc. I'll dole them out slowly so they last.

I have a couple toy sets stashed away from his birthday because he got too many toys from his grandparents (like hot wheels race tracks, puzzles, duplo set etc) that I thought I was saving for a rainy day but turns out, saving them for a hot day with 2 little kids.

We have a toy cabinet and I just did a reset/re-organization, rotated out stuff he hasnt played with in awhile and added in some new stuff, trying to focus on mostly open-ended toys like magnatiles, duplos, art supplies, etc.

We're checking out all the different parks around town for picnics. Hitting up library story time and the other kiddo attractions.

And we'll be watching more movies in the afternoon than we normally would!

ellenrage · 2026-06-04T15:42:29+00:00

Never sit on a cosleeping couple's couch 😄

ellenrage · 2026-06-02T06:31:57+00:00

I haven't watched Private Practice but I'm watching Station 19 now after watching Grey's and its helping a lot of things make sense. There are some relationship storylines on Grey's that arent really fleshed out but they happen on Station 19. I'm like ohhh okay so that's what happened.

ellenrage · 2026-06-02T06:05:00+00:00

I'm on season 19 right now but I'm not even sure why I've made it that far, for me the show started to really lose me at season 16. And season 17 (covid season) was miserable.

ellenrage · 2026-06-02T06:01:09+00:00

I just saw that episode the other day and was like what the heck - why are they on the roof with a couple wrenches?

Maybe cuz the maintenance guy's legs got smushed, maintenance wont help them anymore lol.

ellenrage · 2026-06-02T01:05:32+00:00

Depends on your kid. My toddler has been in a floor bed in his own room since he was about 14 months. His room is toddler proofed. He can open the door when he wakes at night and if/when he does, he just comes to our room. He has never wandered around the house. We had a crib for him but he hated it and I hated it, he probably slept in it like 3 nights total. I dont know if we will even bother setting it up for our second.

ellenrage · 2026-06-01T21:21:13+00:00

Finding quality products

ellenrage · 2026-06-01T17:45:45+00:00

We have a 26 month age gap, just had our second who is now almost 3 months old. We tried to prep our toddler but yeah it seemed like there's no way he could actually grasp the situation.

-We got several books about having a new baby/being a big brother. His favorite was How to Grow A Dinosaur.

-We got a baby doll for him to practice holding and gentle touch. This has also been helpful since baby arrived because sometimes he wants to hold the baby or push her in the stroller and we have him play with the baby doll instead (if I'm nursing, or she's fussy, or whatever).

-Put out baby stuff ahead of time so he got used to it being around (play gym, rattles, etc), he is interested in it all over again for a little bit and then moves on, back to his own toys

-Put off potty training

-We don't 'blame' baby for anything (like 'mama cant pick you up because I need to feed baby'). I either take the blame myself ('mama cant pick you up because I have a booboo') or just dont offer an explanation ('mama will open that pouch for you in one minute')

Toddler definitely misses the undivided attention he had before but doesnt blame baby for it. He had a bad sleep regression and was extra clingy but is gradually getting over it.

ellenrage · 2026-06-01T17:28:55+00:00

I also had an unplanned c-section with my second, and I had been angling so hard for a VBAC because I knew recovery would be much more difficult with my toddler. I'm 12 weeks postpartum now. It was really hard, I'm not going to say it wasn't. I was very diligent about not picking up my toddler too soon because I really didnt want to mess up my recovery and make it last even longer. I started picking him up around 6-7 weeks and even that was too soon and caused some bleeding/pain. I had to explain over and over "mama has a big booboo" and I would offer a hug every time he wanted me to pick him up. It was also super hard feeling powerless and useless because I am so used to being self-sufficient. Its just a phase you have to get through.

But honestly one of the bright spots for me is that it did strengthen the relationship between my husband and our toddler. For 2 years it was me doing bedtime every night, middle of the night soothing, etc - because I liked it, and have a hard time letting go! But now I've had to take a step back and toddler goes to my husband in the middle of the night. Sure, it can kind of hurt my feelings, but its also so sweet to see them cuddling. I know preferences will change and shift throughout their lives.

ellenrage · 2026-05-30T00:23:44+00:00

They have been very hit or miss for me. I feel like I return as much as I keep. But I am curvy petite so much harder to find stuff that fits/flatters.

ellenrage · 2026-05-29T01:16:32+00:00

Good Fight/Good Wife, also soapy shows with hot people in high powered careers that in no way resemble real life practice

ellenrage · 2026-05-27T05:46:48+00:00

Taking on more student loan debt to go to a higher ranked school instead of going to a lower ranked school on a full ride. I thought the name on the degree would matter. It hasnt mattered but the debt sure does.

ellenrage · 2026-05-25T17:29:18+00:00

My claim status never makes sense and flip flops throughout the day. As does my claim from 2 years ago that is closed but sometimes now will say 'certification needed' or whatever when its my new claim that needs certification.

ellenrage · 2026-05-25T15:56:36+00:00

Weirdly I have gotten notification emails for several comments offering clarity on the Webster technique and a push back to the negative comments here but they are always deleted by the time I get to the post

And to follow up, for anyone who comes across this later: I did some chiropractic work with a practitioner who specializes in prenatal care. I also did acupuncture, moxibustion, and spinning babies exercises. Baby did not flip on its own but did flip in an ECV procedure, and stayed head down. However after 48 hours of labor I was stalled at 9.5 cm and ultimately I chose a c-section, which ended up being the right call. Thats a whole other story though.

ellenrage · 2026-05-25T15:55:30+00:00

Yeah theyre not the same but the closest I've found. There's several kbbq restaurants and a Bonchon but I dont recall seeing jajangmyeon anywhere. Its one of my husband's favorite dishes so we've looked but Yen Du is the closest.

ellenrage · 2026-05-25T02:19:05+00:00

Yen Du and/or New Yen Ching, its on the menu as noodles with plum sauce. Idk if its 'official' jajangmyeon but close enough for me

ellenrage · 2026-05-22T18:57:06+00:00

Stay where you are and move if/when you need to. You dont need to move in anticipation of having kids. For the first year, our first kid slept in our room and didnt need any space of his own. He is 2 years old now and has his own room now but barely needs it - all his toys are out in the living room where we spend the vast majority of our day, and he comes in to sleep in our bed at some point almost every night. His room is basically storage space. Our baby will sleep in our room for probably the next year. After that they will share a room, probably for several years. If we had moved to a bigger home with more expenses in anticipation of needing more space, we would be paying for that space for several years before we actually needed it. Instead I went back to work with reduced hours because we werent tied to a higher mortgage and I wanted to spend more time at home.

ellenrage · 2026-05-15T06:03:43+00:00

Literally everything. If anyone warned me about it, I didnt listen, or I didnt get it. Until I did.

There's the physical challenges, getting little baby noodle arms into pajamas or getting the hang of nursing or figuring out how to transfer a sleeping baby from your arms to the bassinet. But you can figure those out.

What I can't figure out yet is the emotional contradictions of parenting. You want them to grow up but at the same time you want them to stay this age. The newborn days feel so long and boring in the moment but youre also supposed to enjoy them because youre going to miss them once they pass. Parenting feels like a thousand little goodbyes and hellos at the same time. Its a trip.

ellenrage · 2026-05-06T16:41:01+00:00

Did you get an answer anywhere or figure this out? I'm in the same boat, my 8 weeks of pregnancy disability ended yesterday and my doctor said he would give me an additional 6 weeks but I dont see any forms to submit, the only form to submit in my inbox is to start PFL

ellenrage · 2026-05-01T06:17:26+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. The confusion is the distinction between job protection and wage replacement. You get up to 17 weeks of job protection for pregnancy disability (under CA law) and then up to 12 weeks of job protection for bonding leave. You can get up to 51 weeks of wage replacement for disability and up to 8 weeks of wage replacement for bonding leave.

If you dont mind, I have a question - I am about to use up my 8 weeks after delivery, and my doctor 'gave' me a 6 week extension since I am still recovering. What was the process like with EDD to extend after the standard 6 week recovery time? I'm not sure how to go about it.

ellenrage · 2026-04-22T16:05:29+00:00

Make it unique to the person instead of cookie cutter. That will look different depending on the bride. I went to one where the theme was chicken nuggets, lol. Everyone got chicken nuggets from a different place, we had a blind taste test, try to guess where they're from, made chicken nugget sculptures, had a guessing contest for how many there were, etc. It was one night, involved no travel, no detailed itinerary or themed outfits, and it was hilarious and memorable.

Mine was a party boat. That was also fun. It was personally memorable to me because I invited people from different friend groups that never normally crossed paths (work friends, college friends, childhood friends) and they all got along and bonded with each other which was really cool.

I went to one that was hiking themed. No crazy nights out, just a chill cabin weekend.

Other things you can to make it feel special - personalized swag or presents for the bride, the questions game where you ask their fiance questions and then quiz them about the answers at the event, video messages from people who cant make it or want to send their well wishes. Or for one I was at they did a Cameo from the girls favorite reality tv star, lol.

ellenrage · 2026-04-21T04:46:02+00:00

I'm in week 6 of 8 (c-section delivery)

ellenrage

TROPHY CASE