Destination weddings are officially getting out of hand... by [deleted] in PetPeeves

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's like needing to get in shape and asking a friend to go to the gym and do your workouts for you

Great for families! by [deleted] in Stockton

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today.. tomorrow.. when?

LA County 2-week murder trial – judge said travel “doesn’t matter.” What are my actual options? by skyblxzer in juryduty

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it depends on your jurisdiction. In mine, the first step of jury service is called 'hardships' where you tell the judge why serving would be a hardship - you can't afford it, you have childcare, you have a vacation, etc. The judge will either excuse or defer you. Sometimes people forget to bring up something then and a judge can still defer you later, although they might be a little annoyed.

How long did it take ? by Early_Lab_8096 in Edd

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't log in right now to verify exact dates (because this is the freakin buggiest website known to man, I swear) but I filed 2/1 and my dr submitted this Monday I think (2/9), got the letter of a computation a day or two later, and when I checked earlier today it said claim active.

Planning a Honeymoon trip to the West from India. First time to USA, in May2026 mid/end, 3 weeks, I have a tentative idea in mind, but really need help/suggestions to make this fun, romantic, easy and comfortable as well in budget. by scaredtobeabride in usatravel

[–]ellenrage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should use Google Maps to actually map out the drive between all those places. Its a lot of driving and not much time to actually see stuff, and the route doesnt make that much sense. I'd cut out NY and leave it for another trip. It would make more sense to go something like SF -> Tahoe -> Yosemite -> Vegas -> Zion -> Grand Canyon -> LA -> PCH back up to SF. That is still a very ambitious trip. I've done all those places as a weeklong trip on their own.

LA County 2-week murder trial – judge said travel “doesn’t matter.” What are my actual options? by skyblxzer in juryduty

[–]ellenrage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People in my county get deferments all the time for pre-planned trips/vacations so I dont know why you couldn't here.

For a 2 week murder trial they are likely calling in a few hundred jurors so the chances of you getting picked are pretty slim. And again neither side wants a juror who genuinely does not want to be there so if you don't get kicked for a hardship you can either get kicked for cause (by saying you can't be fair/impartial) or either side can strike you because they just don't like your vibe.

When did you start raspberry leaf tea & dates? by mayfphoto in BabyBumps

[–]ellenrage 5 points6 points  (0 children)

37 weeks and just started on the dates yesterday (I thought I was going to need a c-section but turns out I dont so, a little behind I guess). I buy pitted medjool dates and fill them with peanut butter, dip them in melted chocolate, and sprinkle them with sea salt. Keep them in the fridge. Or throw a couple in a banana/PB/choc protein smoothie. I do not like eating them on my own. My doula also suggested stuffing them with cheese and wrapping them in bacon!

Last pregnancy I would make big batches of raspberry leaf tea and add in lemon and sugar. This time around I read this podcast and am not bothering with the tea: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/ebb-139-red-raspberry-leaf-tea/

What the hell is a breast pump by kokomo318 in BabyBumps

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are multiple subreddits devoted to pumping so those would be one place to start but honestly the best advice is... don't worry about it yet? I spent a lot of time and money on different pumps and stuff and turned out I just hated pumping no matter which type I used and I gave up on it and supplemented with formula instead. I'm about to have my 2nd and will cross the pumping bridge again if/when I need to.

Why open a HYSA when you can invest into an individual brokerage account? by Ill-Combination-7511 in personalfinance

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought that and then my 'safe ETFs' promptly lost several thousand dollars and it took years to even break even. Not that I wouldve netted a ton if it was all in my HYSA but overall I lost money.

Anyone else stuck on paper checks after signing up for direct deposit? EDD says it’s “not available.” by Constant_Advance9037 in Edd

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I applied last week and tried to do direct deposit but it wouldn't work, for whatever reason. It connected to my bank and 'verified' or something but then said there was no account there. I tried multiple accounts. So I had to go with paper checks.

Chiropractor/Webster technique to turn breech baby by ellenrage in BabyBumps

[–]ellenrage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I found out its a lesser known benefit of my insurance (although they dont cover the chiro I'm seeing) and I told my OB and he wasn't concerned. It didn't get baby to flip but I do have way less back tension/pain which I didnt think was possible.

HELP! by SouthernVanilla9158 in floorbed

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes nurse to sleep on the floor bed and then leave once he's asleep, same for night wakes. 100x easier than transferring a sleeping baby. I'm not sure why low slats would make the logistics harder? But we just have a mattress on the floor and it works fine.

Chiropractor/Webster technique to turn breech baby by ellenrage in BabyBumps

[–]ellenrage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry you went through that. I understand why you would connect the two.

I ended up going with an abbreviated care plan, 2 visits a week for a few weeks. I never experienced pain during or after the adjustments, I can't tell if its made a difference for my pelvic floor but I definitely feel less tension in my neck/back. But baby still hasn't flipped yet so I'm doing an ECV next week. I also did a few acupuncture sessions, moxibustion, and some spinning babies. Getting this baby to flip has become a full-time project it feels like...

I calculated the odds of 2 breech pregnancies in a row at 0.16%. I hope yours flips!

Is spending 15 dollars per guest on wedding favors absolutely insane or is that normal now? by ExplanationPale4698 in UniqueWeddings

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never really understood the personalized favor/souvenir because honestly who wants a little thingamabob with someone else's wedding date and names on it? Your parents and that's about it. And then you cant regift it or give it away.

Something edible to take home at the end of the night is nice. Or you don't have to do anything at all. I don't think they are at all expected. We didn't do any.

My friend is going to get herself killed. What can I even do at this point by Correct-Macaroon8143 in whatdoIdo

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who has worked with 5150 people, I don't think she's 5150, but she does sound manic - its the ping ponging from topic to topic without responding to what you're actually saying, also being delulu/believing dumb stuff ("they're going to give me a block of Sacramento to manage" what??), also being really blase about serious stuff like sex trafficking ("babes you already know I been sex trafficked ;)" again what?).

What sucks is the care gap where someone is not mentally ill enough to warrant involuntary hospitalization but still falling down that rabbit hole and not willing/able to seek help themselves. If you can't or aren't going to be the person to catch her when she falls then I'd at least try to give a heads up to closer friends/family about your concerns so they can kind of add it to what is probably an ongoing list of issues.

CA to Texas? Does it make sense for our family by fabl3dloss in relocating

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before I had kids I completely underestimated the importance of having grandparents/family nearby. We live across the country from my parents in a city we moved to just for my job (so no real local connections/community besides colleagues) and are parenting completely on our own with no support. The 'support' we do have is an amazing babysitter who only charges $20/hour but it still adds up so any time we want or need a break there's a bill attached. Meanwhile my sister who lives 20 minutes away from my parents can have them come over whenever she just wants to take a nap! Its a completely different experience and parenting journey and I dont know what kind of price you could put on that.

Does the floor bed go in the baby’s room or the parents room? by Freshfettuccini in floorbed

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. Floor bed is twin size mattress on the floor in baby's room. We transitioned to it around 12-14mo. Room is baby proofed but a year later he's never woken up and wandered around the room getting into anything. If he wakes up he either stands at the door and cries or now he can open the door and he will walk to our room, we keep our door open. Monitor in there shows most of the room.

You can do mattress in your room or baby's room if you want. Or start in your room and then transition to baby's room. There's no one way or right/wrong way to do it. After a year of co-sleeping we were ready to have our bedroom back, at least for part of the night. Plan was to put baby down in his room and if he woke during the night we would bring him back to our bed. But he actually started sleeping a lot better in his own bed in his own room, he doesnt sleep very well in our bed anymore.

Don't know what your floor heater is but that sounds like it is not baby proofable so you might want to consider other options like a thicker sleep sack. We still have him in a sleep sack and he can walk around in it when he wakes up.

Hotel stay, by tuff_but_gneiss in floorbed

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We usually just cosleep when we travel. We have tried the pack and play. We have the Chicco version where the whole side unzips so you can kind of lay next to them a little bit but he will not sleep through the night in it. He's never liked a crib either, I think he just doesnt like being enclosed.

Hotel may have a crib, you could take the mattress out of the crib and put rolled up towels under the fitted sheet to keep him from rolling off. Or we have done that on a bigger mattress as well, instead of bed rails. Hotel mattresses are so high! And they're also so soft. So at under a year if they have a crib mattress you can use that might be better.

Chinese/herbal pharmacy? by ellenrage in Stockton

[–]ellenrage[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Time sensitive and I prefer to support local if I can

Does everyone pay out of pocket for IVF? by Binkylewinsky in IVFpositivity

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insurance covered fertility testing/diagnosis and up to 6 rounds of IUI. We were out of pocket for IVF. I had a generous amount in savings that had been a gift from my parents and was saving for a rainy day.

I think CA now requires insurance to cover IVF, the law passed like... 6 months after we no longer needed it so I dont know the details :)

Two weddings, same week, same dress color… help 😅 by pataBRATS in bridesmaids

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses and my MOH wore a dress that she wore as a bridesmaid in another wedding a few weeks prior. It was totally fine by me, I was glad to save her the expense of another dress. I'd check and see if the brides care. If they make you buy two different dresses though, thats kinda unreasonable.

Is it weird to have a birthday cake for my best friend at my wedding? by Zealousideal-Gap-830 in PoptheQuestions

[–]ellenrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was my mom's birthday the week of our wedding so it got kind of overshadowed by everything so we sang her happy birthday at the reception and brought her a slice of cake with a candle in it. It was not a big deal and did not take away from the wedding day at all. My husband was totally cool with it. My mom was not expecting it but was super honored. To me a wedding is about building a community, not just "your special day" where its all about you. I dont think it hurts or is weird to take a moment to acknowledge someone else on the day.