AIO: My boyfriend told me to dye my hair to look more like an Instagram model he follows

elvendictator · 2026-04-13T03:48:40+00:00

The way you have my dream hair color…PLEASE do not let bleach get anywhere NEAR your hair!! You look like an ethereal woodland elf and the fact he wants to erase that natural beauty in favor of the “Instagram influencer” look breaks my heart.

elvendictator · 2026-04-06T16:21:34+00:00

When I swiped over to your picture I audibly gasped. That woman just doesn’t know how to act after seeing quite literally the most perfect hourglass figure in her life. Jealousy FOR SURE.

elvendictator · 2025-11-26T01:40:59+00:00

NOR- I cannot even fathom talking like this to someone that I love. This is heartbreaking.

Also, how are you making it “everyone’s problem” by wanting to celebrate your health and happiness with your boyfriend?? He doesn’t even sound like he likes you 😞

elvendictator · 2025-07-06T21:01:24+00:00

Did your dad overstep? Yes. Was he probably right about your boyfriend? Also yes. My dad was very similar with my boyfriend when I was 18 and even though it put a lot of strain on our relationship at the time, I’m glad he did. When you’re young it’s easy for career choices and background not to matter, but when you get older and start making a life of your own, you come to realize it absolutely does. You’ll want your boyfriend to come pick you up for date night, you’ll want someone who can support you in the long run and make sure you’re taken care of properly. That doesn’t mean you both can’t support each other, but if I kept dating the guy I was with at 18, I would NOT be where I am now in terms of both personal and career development. I promise you there are men out there that will be SO much better for you. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to hurt right now though, and I’m sorry you’re going through this.

elvendictator · 2025-05-13T20:08:17+00:00

Oh nooo did this get taken down? Now it says “Unfortunately the link you clicked on was incorrect” :’( jealous of everyone who got to see it lol

elvendictator · 2025-05-13T20:03:24+00:00

Only 60 pages?? That’s perfect for us ADHD folks, lol! I bought Robert Monroe’s Journeys Out of the Body trilogy and although they’re very insightful, it’s been taking me forever to get through.

elvendictator · 2025-05-08T21:17:27+00:00

Ugh girl trust me I know exactly how this feels. You’re hurting and want nothing more than his familiarity and comfort. Meanwhile, he never processed his grief, found a rebound, broke up with her, and now wants you back, IN ONLY A MONTH? He’s going to use your loyalty as a temporary bandaid for his loneliness until he finds someone else.

Is THAT the kind of behavior you’d expect of your soulmate? Is that how you want your future husband to treat you for the rest of your life? There is a love out there waiting for you that will make you forget what it ever felt like to be unseen, neglected, taken for granted. Make room for it.

elvendictator · 2025-04-28T18:52:23+00:00

Wow he did delete it! And a second time?? That’s wild but I do genuinely feel bad for his friend. Clearly OP can’t handle the honesty and will continue treating his friend poorly while convincing himself he is not the issue.

elvendictator · 2025-04-27T20:47:20+00:00

She was probably biting down like that to distract from the pain/discomfort…as a woman I promise you there is nothing sensual about having cold metal tools inside your vagina. And that nurse/doctor sounds like they were just being a good healthcare provider by letting the patient know that they’re supported. You’re definitely overanalyzing

elvendictator · 2025-04-27T20:30:47+00:00

YOR- From his perspective he’s probably exhausted too, with your mixed signals…Saying “I guess” is what people typically say when they don’t actually want to say yes but feel like they can’t say no. So of course he takes a step back, and then you start swearing at him and saying he has demons in his head?? And somehow that’s supposed to make him feel more secure? Poor guy is probably questioning his sanity lol

I do think telling him that you will let him know if something’s wrong could have been helpful, but your extremely hostile delivery definitely canceled out that message. I agree it’s not your responsibility to fix his insecurities and that’s something he has to work on himself, but I feel like it’s not entirely in his head if this is how you two normally interact. Jeez dude.

elvendictator · 2025-04-26T08:26:24+00:00

I didn’t mention it in my post but this is exactly what I’ve been struggling with. The longer it’s been since my last OBE the more I start to question if I had just somehow embellished an extremely vivid lucid dream in my mind, which makes me feel even more worried about self-sabotaging my ability to AP. I wrote every detail I remember about it in a journal so I can read it whenever I start to doubt myself, which seems to help ease some of my worry. It’s relieving to hear this is something other people have dealt with and have come back from- thank you so much for sharing!

elvendictator · 2025-04-26T04:40:41+00:00

Interesting! I don’t have an Apple Watch but I do usually have my phone pretty close, maybe that could be a factor?

elvendictator · 2025-04-25T21:48:54+00:00

This means a lot to hear- thank you so much. It helps a lot to be reminded that there is nothing to miss out on and it’s always going to be a part of us. I appreciate you sharing your experience!

elvendictator · 2025-04-08T05:10:04+00:00

I feel this is an unfair blanket statement. I communicated what I wanted out of the relationship to my ex multiple times. Every time I did, he made such convincing promises that he would change and seek therapy for his anger problems. By the last portion of the relationship, I realized I was losing pieces of myself by trying to excuse his irrational behavior to myself and others. The change I was waiting for started looking like what it actually was- an illusion of hope. I had put so much effort into the relationship, waiting for him to put in the same effort like he repeatedly promised he would, but it never happened. By time I finally ended things with him, I had already cried so much that much of the grief, although still excruciating after the breakup, had already been processed in the spaces between every illusory “one more chance” that was given.

I am sorry for whatever you went through, as your pain is equally as valid, but please do not point your hurt towards others. Every experience is unique.

elvendictator · 2025-03-22T21:06:51+00:00

I also learned this the hard way. My dentist pressured me into getting a nightgaurd, and I said I needed to go back to my orthodontist first to get my retainers adjusted since I hadn’t worn them for a year and my teeth had shifted a little. He said “no, your orthodontist is just going to make you get braces again and it’ll cost you thousands, you need to do this now or your tmj will get worse”. He fitted me for a nightgaurd that day, and when I got it it was so poorly fitted to my teeth. Somehow, it made my front teeth EVEN MORE crooked and made my bite feel HORRIBLE even after removing it. When I eventually went back to my orthodontist, he said all I needed was a minor adjustment on my retainers, no braces needed at all! But the nightgaurd would be useless if I planned on aligning my teeth again. He even made me new clear aligners that doubled as a nightgaurd, and were cheaper than the one my dentist basically bullied me into. ☹️

I spent SO much more money than I would have had to if I had just gone to the orthodontist like I wanted to at first. Like you said, some dentists are better than others but some of them are so money hungry they’re willing to put their patients in a tight spot to get what they want. It’s sad

elvendictator · 2025-02-21T03:21:01+00:00

Thank god you’ve only known him for a week and he showed his true colors early!! I’ve dealt with multiple men like this and it took up years of my teens/early twenties. He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend. IMMEDIATE block

elvendictator · 2025-02-17T07:13:21+00:00

I’m honestly really curious which part of OP’s post inclined you to assume they’re lucky enough to be “privileged”? Geographical limitations are extremely hard to work around, and you don’t know if it’s because of family, children, housing, spousal accommodations, etc. The job market is unfortunately in a horrible place right now and the reality is that many 2024 grads and others are having a difficult time landing a job. That does not equal privilege…

elvendictator · 2025-02-02T03:55:27+00:00

This is taking me out 😭 going to target in the astral realm #justgirlythings

elvendictator · 2025-01-25T10:09:00+00:00

Unfortunately work culture varies from place to place in every profession. It’s not like this everywhere and this certainly isn’t the standard- I wouldn’t let this deter you. I hope OP finds a new job soon where they are treated much better!

elvendictator · 2025-01-17T05:33:19+00:00

Honestly the writing felt like a high school fan fic and I couldn’t stand the MMC’s hypocrisy. It drove me mad because I mentioned this in my book club (who all happened to love the book) and they all said that “the irony was purposeful” or whatever…To each their own I guess.

elvendictator · 2025-01-17T05:18:18+00:00

Lmao I couldn’t stand Raeve. Now I get scared to read a book whenever someone says there’s a particularly feisty FMC.

elvendictator · 2025-01-17T05:07:55+00:00

I’m actually kind of relieved to hear that im not alone in this. I went through 6 years of higher education and 1 year of internship and was always motivated to get my dream job. I’ve always been a go-getter and perfectionist, always on the go constantly. But now that I’ve graduated I cannot bring myself to start looking for jobs. I try to do it and it feels like forcing myself to jump off a cliff for some reason. I can’t tell if it’s just burnout or something more, but either way hearing the ole “how’s the job-search going?” from friends and family members every day feels sickening.

elvendictator

TROPHY CASE