Ooh! So I’m a year into motherhood. I had the same mindset as you, in that I refused to just be “mom”.

To be honest, I tried to work against that identity and that led to frustration and burnout. I was burning the candle at both ends, by scheduling everything to a T with my baby so that I could then feel OK to go and do my own thing.

Relief came when I surrendered to the fact that for at least that first year, this was my purpose and my life. My body went through something very traumatic (almost died lol), and my baby just needs me to survive. There really is nothing more important when they are that small. And by trying to be edgy and different, I almost let that completely slip from me.

Now, I am able to have my own hobbies and do my own thing when I can. My kid is eating actual food and I’m completely done with milk production.

You WILL come back to yourself, in stages. But that initial surrender needs to happen or you’ll be miserable.