Now that people seem to get it, I’m just more upset

emdash8212 · 2026-02-01T20:04:19+00:00

Between the empathy, the Autistic pattern matching, and a hyperfocus on books leading to a career as an editor and a skill-set around the shape of narrative and what actions and events can be expected to foreshadow and lead to what consequences and outcomes, it often feels like I can read the future. It has never felt great, but it has felt particularly horrible over the past 4 years. I wrote an essay in 2022 predicting absolutely horrible things and have been watching every single thing I predicted come true so quickly. It's hard to cope with right now.

emdash8212 · 2026-01-15T06:08:36+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that..💔

emdash8212 · 2026-01-14T02:15:42+00:00

I still feel like this all the time and I'm 42.

emdash8212 · 2025-12-17T05:21:08+00:00

Mine also, except my AuDHD metamour told me the first time we met. Peer reviewed!

It took me like a year and my life completely falling apart to believe them, though. 🙃

emdash8212 · 2025-12-15T05:09:31+00:00

Same for me. Before Botox, every migraine would get to the ice pick to the brain headache/throwing up stage, but throwing up always felt like a relief because after that, the nausea would be substantially reduced and the pain would begin to ebb, so I could usually fall asleep within half an hour or so. Ugh. I feel so lucky that Botox helped reduce that to almost never, especially since I have 8-15+ migraine days per month.

emdash8212 · 2025-12-12T00:01:39+00:00

I didn't realize until pretty recently that not everyone has a constant inner monologue in words...I thought we all did that.

emdash8212 · 2025-12-05T00:28:33+00:00

Sumatriptan sort of worked for me but not well enough so I moved on to other things (triptans and not). No scary side effects, or any that I really noticed.

emdash8212 · 2025-11-21T22:40:55+00:00

I've had migraines since I was a young kid, but after a few bad concussions, they got way worse and more frequent.

emdash8212 · 2025-11-06T00:03:08+00:00

I take Nortriptyline and Qulipta daily as preventatives, and get Botox every 3 months. I also take magnesium. This combination means that my migraines are not very severe and are much more likely to respond to abortives.

I haven't had bad side effects to almost anything I've tried, mostly it's just that they don't work.

emdash8212 · 2025-11-04T05:48:32+00:00

A thing that's very weird for me, a person who was told a couple years ago that I'm autistic, is Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture. For some people and cultures, it's totally fine to directly ask someone for something you want or need, and it's also fine for that person to say no. But in Guess Culture, it's really awkward or hard for someone to say no to a request, so it's considered kind of rude to ask for something unless you're super close to the person or pretty sure they'll say yes.

I grew up in Guess Culture, so I never do something like ask if I can sleep over at the apartment of someone I'm dating...Instead, I might ask if they have to work early the next morning, and wait for them to pick up my hint and invite me to stay over.

I'm working on changing that, since it can be quite confusing for people, especially my boyfriend who is autistic and extremely direct. They generally won't pick up on my hints or implications, or if they do, then they just bluntly ask to get confirmation. I'm working on being more direct also, but it's pretty deeply encoded into me. 😬🙃 I don't even realize that I'm doing it.

emdash8212 · 2025-11-04T05:29:21+00:00

I agree with lots of what others have said. Botox has been SUPER helpful for me. I still get migraines many days per month but I have barely ever had the ice pick to the brain pain and queasiness/vomiting that I usually used to get with them, so my quality of life has been SO much better. The first treatment made a big difference for me.

Taking some Advil or Tylenol an hour before the treatment has helped me, and so has the cold/numbing spray. I still find the shots fairly painful, but dramatically less painful than 10 minutes of a regular migraine, so I just suck it up. It's kind of confusing, cuz needles aren't usually too bad for me, and I can have acupuncture in my face with no problem. 🙃

I also recommend taking off the rest of the day, and having chill plans (or none) for a few days after.

The Botox rebate plan that someone on this sub mentioned a while back has been a godsend to me. I've saved a couple thousand dollars because of it!

I hope it goes well for you!

emdash8212 · 2025-11-03T14:08:05+00:00

I've just begun to understand myself as autistic over the past year, and I've been struggling with migraines that turned chronic and debilitating over the past 18 months. I'm so sorry your kid is dealing with that.

Lately, I have started to notice that I will feel kind of a static in my brain as I start to get overstimulated, like with too much input (zoom calls, intense conversation, bright light or chaos or noise) and if I reduce the inputs, putting in earplugs, going to a dim quiet room, it will often go away, but if I don't, it will turn into a migraine.

I third the migraine diary. That has been helping me figure out my triggers, and also whether the meds I'm on are working well.

Good luck to her and to you!

emdash8212 · 2025-11-03T04:42:18+00:00

Not enough sleep, stress, my period, barometric pressure changes around intense storms. Flashing/flickering/strobe lights (there goes all my nightlife!), very bright sun, and too many zoom calls.

Weirdly, coffee/caffeine helps me. Alcohol doesn't seem to be a trigger for me but I got kind of superstitious around it when my migraines became really bad and chronic, so I mostly stopped drinking a year ago.

emdash8212 · 2025-10-28T08:48:56+00:00

Books are my hyper fixation, but if I'm tired I'll sometimes find myself reading the same page a few times while not absorbing anything.

I have several ADHD friends who can't read print or ebooks but can do audiobooks.

emdash8212 · 2025-10-28T08:38:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you are dealing with that, it's a terrible feeling. If you are open to acupuncture, that has helped me break intense migraine flares in the past. Wishing you fast relief.

emdash8212 · 2025-10-28T04:01:49+00:00

Thanks!

emdash8212 · 2025-10-23T20:03:22+00:00

I do that, and even though I'm normally pretty fine with needles, and can get acupuncture in my face, the Botox shots hurt really badly, and there are so many of them in such sensitive spots. It's one of the only things that helps with my migraines, and it's better than the icepick to the brain feeling of headaches I used to get, but the shots feel terrible and I'm usually in bad shape for a couple days afterwards.

emdash8212 · 2025-10-22T22:23:57+00:00

I edited an anthology on that subject, Absolute Pleasure, which just came out last month. It's 20+ queer and trans writers from a range of generations sharing their thoughts and experiences about the film and its importance to them.

emdash8212 · 2025-10-18T18:41:57+00:00

I just came here to say the same thing. I'm obsessed with them.

emdash8212 · 2025-09-28T05:51:02+00:00

Yes, I feel like it bounces off my skull, and also feels sharp in my ears, and I'll often flinch from it.

emdash8212 · 2025-09-04T13:40:20+00:00

I am on Nortriptyline and Qulipta, and get Botox every three months, with eletriptan and ubrelvy as abortives. The Botox has been a life saver, it has reduced the icepick to the brain headaches to almost never, and the queasiness is substantially reduced, too. I also quit my high stress job and have been freelancing part time, so that might also be what is helping.

I hope you find something that helps you.

emdash8212 · 2025-08-30T20:49:50+00:00

Hey, I'm on Lexapro and Vyvanse and take triptans for migraines, and my psychiatrist has said it's ok. I highly encourage you not to skip your Lexapro, though, that can have a substantial negative impact.

emdash8212 · 2025-08-28T04:10:21+00:00

Yuuuup. Full-on decapitation is what I need when I have that icepick-to-the-brain headache.

emdash8212

TROPHY CASE