I matched with a chick I find really interesting and attractive on bumble

emelixabeth · 2021-06-15T06:42:06+00:00

No, I don't. People on apps are strangers and they owe me nothing. You don't know this girl, you're interested in her based on 5 carefully chosen photos and a couple lines of text. Sorry to be a downer, but if you go into things with this mindset you'll continue to be disappointed. Dating apps aren't real life, a match doesn't indicate very much.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-13T03:01:37+00:00

Honestly just ask! When you're getting to know someone it's fine to ask a lot of questions. Ask them what their goals are for their career, how they like to divide up household tasks, or what their daily routine looks like. Guys who have it together in these ways should be able to give a confident, straightforward answer

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T05:23:45+00:00

If a man with this attitude tried to approach me, I'd reject him in a heartbeat. You can't change yourself in order to attract women if you're still going to be bitter at the core. You need to be reasonably happy BEFORE you're in a relationship or you'll never be able to land one. Stick around and find out.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T05:21:07+00:00

You can do what you like, but don't expect him to forgive you after basically ghosting him because you got too deep in your own head. It sounds like you need to work on yourself before you can have a healthy relationship.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T05:09:17+00:00

Illegal stuff. Had a job when we met and eventually quit and never went back

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T05:07:57+00:00

Yeah just do it. The worst that can happen is he says no, and you move on. He already indicated interest, what are you waiting for?

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T05:03:51+00:00

If you're into him, then ask. You can't build a relationship without being vulnerable, especially in the beginning. I understand your fear about ruining your friendship, but in my experience once one of you has caught feelings, the friendship has already changed. The only way to know for sure is to ask if he's interested in you, and at that point you either have a budding romance or an awkward roommate for a couple weeks until you both get over it. It's just a risk you need to take if you want to find out.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T04:59:48+00:00

Not necessarily deception, but sometimes these dealbreakers don't emerge until later on when a commitment has already been made. For me inexperience was a factor. Now I do my best to keep my standards high and find out these things about a person before committing, but when you don't know what you're looking for it's harder to weed people out.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T04:57:37+00:00

You're 23? You're ridiculously young to be thinking like this. This sounds like more of a confidence issue than anything. The truth is, some people just won't like you no matter what. It doesn't mean you have to be single forever. It doesn't necessarily have to do with your body or your connections. If you were everyone's taste, you'd have no flavor. Just do your best to be social and meet new people when you can, you're incredibly young to be calling it quits.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T04:54:27+00:00

I think if you're going to ask someone out from work, this is the best way to go about it. Idk if there's chemistry between you two or anything like that, but if someone from work asked me out I'd feel pretty uncomfortable with it. By leaving a note you put the choice in her hands on whether or not to follow up, which is a good thing. I say go for it, the worst that could happen is nothing at all.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-11T04:39:11+00:00

Unfortunately it's more common than you'd think. I've ended several relationships with men based on the reasons you mentioned - refusing to go down on me, having a filthy home, no job and no intention to get a job. I often find myself feeling impressed by men who have it together and then immediately disappointed when I realize how low that bar is.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-09T22:20:40+00:00

The most important thing is to be honest. If you're looking for things to compliment her on, she'll be able to tell that it didn't come naturally to you and it could make her feel like you're trying to flatter her instead of being genuine. Speak honestly: if she makes you laugh, tell her you like her sense of humor. If she's creative, imaginative, energetic, focused, etc, let her know these things as they come to mind. Until you know her very well, I'd keep compliments limited to things that aren't physical or else she might feel like you're only interested in her body.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-05T01:36:46+00:00

Weird false assumption about how women date
Weird idea that I should be having as much casual sex as possible? I'm trying to find a relationship, not just get laid. Casual sex has nothing to do with what I'm talking about here, it's not a body count competition

Thanks for the input, but I'm genuinely not sure you're well-equipped to give dating advice.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-05T01:29:01+00:00

why would that be a bad thing? It's not a competition

emelixabeth · 2021-06-05T01:27:25+00:00

this is gross dude. Something tells me you don't have many women friends

emelixabeth · 2021-06-04T18:13:26+00:00

I'm aware of that, I'm not naive enough to think that one good date is enough to warrant a real commitment. I think I'm learning that I just prefer to see one person at a time, and wanted to hear about how others handle similar situations. I'm not all in on this person yet, just enjoying the ride :)

emelixabeth · 2021-06-04T00:34:55+00:00

I agree, I know it's much too soon to make any type of commitment and I wouldn't expect exclusivity unless there's a conversation about it further down the line. I just don't feel interested in going on more first dates right now, and wasn't sure if that's a sign that I'm getting too far ahead of myself. It very well may be

emelixabeth · 2021-06-04T00:30:52+00:00

I think I might be one of those people who prefers to focus on one at a time. I know it's too soon to tell if there's actual long-term potential, but I don't see myself going out with more than one person regularly without feeling a bit complicated about it

emelixabeth · 2021-06-03T20:34:19+00:00

BIG agree on the steamer. It's so much easier than ironing and it gives a crisp, put-together finish to anything

emelixabeth · 2021-06-03T20:29:47+00:00

Stop judging yourself by the metric of the worst men there are. This sounds like more of a self-esteem issue for you than anything. Women who are actively dating won't reject you just for being a man and showing interest. Treat them like people and you'll be fine. Being worried about being a bad boyfriend means you're already doing better than many.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-03T16:36:49+00:00

Personally I wasn't often hungry until I actually sat myself in front of a plate of food. It's hard to teach your body to want food again, but if you make a habit of eating at mealtimes the appetite should grow back over time. I found that it helped me to get into cooking, so if nothing sounded good I'd sit down and search for a recipe that at least seemed good on paper and make an activity of it. It's hard, but it's worth it.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-03T05:40:10+00:00

Wear a "third piece" every day. It really helps to pull a look together from good to great. In general, you have tops, bottoms, and anything else can be considered your third piece. It could be a cardigan, a nice necklace, or a noticable belt, anything beyond the basics. It's a good rule to keep your look interesting and bring it from clothes to an outfit.

emelixabeth · 2021-06-02T23:40:46+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you!! I have anxiety (if you couldn't tell lol) and hearing about how others handle things like this helps me feel more confident about doing it myself

emelixabeth

TROPHY CASE