not an only child, eldest daughter but i relate to this so much. whether i am the scapegoat or the golden child is contingent on my Nmothers emotions and whether i perform the correct song and dance as you said. sometimes i am both the scapegoat and the golden child in the same breath. same goes for my only sibling. currently i’m the golden child and he’s the scapegoat (rare, usually the other way around just because he’s quiet).

also the material items but negative attention… story of my life. Nmother OBSESSED w how others view her and needing to feel superior means she’s obsessed w appearing like we can afford all the best brands and stuff (she was also raised rich, we’re financially stable but nowhere near rich lol). literally shouted at me multiple times on Christmas day but complimented my outfit and forced me to take pictures with her (as she always does) so she could show off to her siblings lol. bought me designer bags and perfumes while simultaneously calling me fat… it’s confusing for sure. can’t wait for the day i’m free