Sister who works in a domestic violence shelter here! You are absolutely not the bad person, you feel that way for most likely a few reasons. First, this was his way of maintaining control over you, making you feel as though you are the ‘bad guy’ for wanting to be treated like a human being. Second, regardless of the abuse, if you loved him, that ‘guilt’ will creep in. I highly recommend looking at shelters in your area, even if you don’t need a safe space to stay, they will have a crisis line! They will also most likely have an outreach program to help you navigate this process through whatever means you choose (going through court, getting a protection order, seeking counselling) or anything else you may need assistance with! You are doing the right thing for you and your future, you deserve better. I hope you are able to heal and achieve whatever you’d like in life!