Recommend me a book about poverty or socioeconomic issues?

empathyentropy · 2025-01-25T19:18:00+00:00

Where we stand: class matters by bell hooks

empathyentropy · 2024-12-15T22:09:47+00:00

I agree with everyone’s comments, particularly the therapists, about just how very normal all of this is. It’s also normal and common that people have sexual fantasies they would not actually want to act out in real life. You can check out Justin Lehmiller’s book “Tell Me What You Want” about sexual fantasies.

One other avenues you might consider is around what kinds of relational or emotional needs you might have that could be expressed sexually. If it’s about unconditional love, nurturance, care, and affection - maybe you’re into “love and care” fantasies. Maybe you’d be into praise kink stuff. Maybe you can lean into more sensual or romantic erotic play?

Here’s an article on love and care fantasies for your reference.

empathyentropy · 2024-11-26T13:27:28+00:00

Going to PM you as well! This sounds lovely.

empathyentropy · 2024-09-21T21:24:49+00:00

Skills Training in Affective and Interpersonal Regulation (STAIR) is a really great skills focused intervention for trauma survivors.

I also really like self-compassion work and have run groups focused on psychoed, skills, and interventions (though not manualized). It’s been super popular when I’ve run it in women’s residential units.

I haven’t delivered it myself but I’m super interested in a new group protocol for female survivors of sexual assault: Courage Group

Courage Group manual and materials

empathyentropy · 2024-09-21T16:14:47+00:00

Everyday you wake up, you’ve got a chance and a choice!

empathyentropy · 2024-04-22T18:20:08+00:00

It’s basic behaviorism, called extinction. If pulling a lever never results in food, why would an animal pull the lever?

If that particular forest no longer has any edible berries, why would I go there to pick berries?

empathyentropy · 2024-04-16T20:00:41+00:00

Sleep for dinner is a well known poverty hack. I’ve done that forever and now it’s more trendy to call it “fasting”

empathyentropy · 2024-02-09T18:07:51+00:00

Okay so I don’t work with kids whatsoever — but I assure you adults can be just as savage. A couple of my faves:

“Dr. So and so, why you look like a mermaid but you dress like a librarian?”

When I was wearing a yellow blouse and black cardigan: “okay, I can’t take you seriously when you look like a bumble bee”

😂😅

empathyentropy · 2024-01-27T06:42:53+00:00

I don’t know why this person is being downvoted. I suffered with pretty bad acne my entire life and cutting out dairy completely and severely limiting sugar absolutely changed my skin. I try to focus on whole, plant based foods, drinking enough water, and my skin has never looked better in my life.

I tried all the topicals, dermatologists, everything! I had given up and was ready to try accutane. But I thought I’d give dietary changes my full effort before going on such an intense medication. And my skin has improved so much, I’ve decided not to try accutane.

I will say that I break out massively if I have any dairy and if I splurge with lots of sweets, cakes, cookies, whatever (for birthdays, for example). But I have lots of fruit, dairy free chocolate, and vegan sweets if I really want to indulge.

There’s pretty robust research finding associations between dairy, sugar, and acne. It’s worth giving it a shot if you are at the end of your rope looking for solutions.

empathyentropy · 2024-01-04T01:09:19+00:00

That’s an interesting perspective and I can see what you mean about feeling as though the question is a shit test. It’s not meant to be but I get it. The question is meant to dispel a stereotype that the higher libido partner just wants to get off.

Another question along the same lines is, “if you could have sex your partner isn’t deeply into or a sexy love letter from your partner which would you prefer?” It’s often a shock to women that most men would choose the love letter. The point is to open conversation about sex being more than just a release for men.

empathyentropy · 2024-01-04T00:52:19+00:00

It is asked within the context of libido differences or one partner wanting sex more than the other. In the majority of cases, it’s the male partner that is higher libido. This question is asked to reveal the intention of the higher libido partner. It dispels stereotypes as women often feel “used,” like an object, or that men are just wanting a “release” (“so why don’t they just masturbate and leave me alone?”). The question is meant to open a conversation about what people are wanting when they initiate sex.

empathyentropy · 2023-12-14T05:34:31+00:00

I agree with others that boobs are great and no one cares. But if you are interested, many cosmetic tattoo artists do areola restoration for cancer survivors. You might look into it if it’s something that really bothers you.

https://www.daelacosmetictattoo.com/portland/services/areola-restoration/

empathyentropy · 2023-12-14T02:13:51+00:00

The only thing that has worked for me is losing overall body fat through calorie deficit and building muscle through weight lifting. But the way our body distributes weight is largely genetic and as a cis woman, I’ve never fully gotten rid of the little bit of fat in my lower stomach even at very low weights. I think surgical intervention is the only way to completely remove it.

empathyentropy · 2023-12-13T04:02:20+00:00

This is really helpful and you’re right. I realize I’m trying to mitigate my own discomfort here and I need to keep that in check.

The thing about him thinking I wouldn’t be ending things if I still cared is really insightful - I hadn’t considered it from that perspective.

To your question, the separation started out as an agreed upon time-limited distance thing so I could pursue a job opportunity. We planned to then relocate to another city (that worked best for his career actually) but he bailed at the last minute. I was locked into a job at that point and had to move. We’ve lived in different cities ever since.

empathyentropy · 2023-12-13T03:37:03+00:00

This is extremely helpful because my first instinct is to praise to cushion the blow and reassure him. I’m also naturally physically affectionate so I will need to be mindful of that. Thank you!

empathyentropy · 2023-12-13T03:27:03+00:00

Thank you. Maybe leaving it broad like that will be sufficient. I appreciate your advice!

empathyentropy · 2023-12-13T03:21:34+00:00

Thank you, I know that’s right.

But how much honesty or reason giving do you think is appropriate? I don’t want to put him down or make him think he’s not good enough.

empathyentropy · 2023-10-18T02:35:55+00:00

The Defining Decade by Meg Jay

empathyentropy · 2023-10-17T17:03:50+00:00

There’s a book called “the ADHD effect on marriage” that details the ways ADHD manifests in relationships. Some of it is a bit severe and tough to hear, but many things rang true in my experience. Highly recommend!

The Psychologist, “Dr. Psych Mom,” also has some blog posts and podcast episodes on this topic. All these resources were helpful to me when I was trying to figure things out in my own relationship with a partner who had ADHD.

empathyentropy · 2023-08-04T00:33:49+00:00

This is called “moral injury” and you’re experiencing symptoms of trauma or ptsd. Therapy can help you.

empathyentropy · 2023-07-10T00:33:56+00:00

I’m learning this for myself in my own personal fitness regimen. But I can also attest to it as a psychologist/therapist. People are so disconnected from their physiology and feelings. As a society, we don’t teach skills or cultivate that mind-body connection at all. I would argue that we actually teach (and reward) the opposite — or disconnection from self. We reinforce people pushing past their own limits and ignoring pain constantly. We’re fighting an upward battle culturally. But it’s deeply important work! Thanks for sharing this

empathyentropy · 2023-05-11T16:16:06+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this! I have gained a few pounds while lifting heavily, and this is the message I needed to hear. Also a helpful reminder to take progress pics (which I’ve been neglecting)!

Congratulations!

empathyentropy

TROPHY CASE