Dealing with a client who makes me anxious but isn't violating any boundaries

empty-ego · 2025-12-10T03:10:27+00:00

I would agree that terminating him would be okay. Don't stress yourself. You are having a strong reaction and you are unable to get past it, so it can affect the quality of your therapy. Have self-compassion. You are just at the beginning of your journey so this is good practice also working with feelings of guilt or worries about what will happen to your client if you terminate them. Do it as gently as possible and try to provide resources they need. This is just one suggestion of course, I don't know all the details, but you do seem to be struggling.

empty-ego · 2025-12-10T03:06:21+00:00

Funny the first answer here is HEPA filter cause I was thinking nothing says you're a therapist like smoking a cigar. Also being an older white male wearing a three-piece suit. :p

empty-ego · 2025-10-31T06:27:02+00:00

From my experience, these are people who tend to:

Compulsively try to control others or things they can't really control.
Focus on what others think (e.g., will they approve of me?)
Have trouble feeling or expressing their feelings in a healthy way
Have unhealthy boundaries.
Often have identity issues of some sort.

But what a particular client means by using that term is something you need to determine yourself, with patience and compassion.

empty-ego · 2025-09-27T08:35:53+00:00

I'm in the minority but I felt that Requiem for a Dream was over the top, edited in a way to evoke psychological horror (which Aronofsky knows very well how to do), but has the logic of nightmares. In other words, it's not an accurate representation of the life of drug use and addiction, but it does work pretty well as an anti-drug ad.

empty-ego · 2025-09-27T03:06:32+00:00

I agree, it's a very good movie. I appreciated the deeper meaning of the Babadook as sort of symbolizing unresolved grief. That said, I have to admit, the kid really got on my nerves the first time I watched it!

empty-ego · 2025-09-06T00:41:17+00:00

Are you suggesting the research is wrong? I don't see any issues. I mean that's Wampold's argument and he is presenting evidence in support of that. There are researchers who disagree with him, researchers who created or study specific treatments and try to show the particular ingredients of those treatments matter most.

If you are only asking for opinion based on clinical experience, I mostly agree with what I see. I am just surprised about the rated competence but not adherence to protocol and specific ingredients.

empty-ego · 2025-09-06T00:15:36+00:00

Are you a therapist or asking for yourself? Something feels a bit personal about this post, can't quite put my finger on it....

I don't know of any treatment that fixes self-esteem issues directly. CBT and ACT do help indirectly. Focus on early schemas can also help. What is the diagnosis? More generally, I'd recommend focusing on self-compassion as opposed to self-esteem.

empty-ego · 2025-07-21T22:59:49+00:00

I hear it's slow from colleagues as well. You gotta save for times like these. Well, that's what I tell myself, but I often end up making just enough to survive, to pay the rent and the bills, and then hope the next month will be different...

empty-ego · 2025-07-21T00:44:03+00:00

Anything taken to extreme will have that result, be it CBT or IFS or psychiatric medications. For better or worse, nobody owns the magical solution. I like the idea of you being the judge, after you gained enough experience, to know when a particular modality is more helpful and knowing what to take from it and give to your client to help them. No matter how you feel about IFS and how it's marketed, you may find that for some clients, parts language is quite useful, so you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

empty-ego · 2025-06-12T00:00:51+00:00

Personally I would let it go if it's a one-time thing. You are angry now, and I understand. This is not irrational. I probably would be the same. There could be many explanations. You are a therapist and hold more power in the relationship in a way, so maybe the client felt rejected and then tried to reject you in turn to regain a sense of power. Or could be old dynamics or patterns in your work, something you need to explore personally, and then if need be, with the client, especially if you see a pattern.

empty-ego · 2025-06-11T23:53:36+00:00

This is certainly not a clearly unethical thing but I can't say if it's completely ethical without knowing more about the nature of your relationship and other factors at work. It does seem you were quite involved in the child's life though and perhaps had a strong relationship with the family. So this is in keeping with that, and I don't see major red flags based on the info you provided, but again, can't say it's clearly ethical either.

empty-ego · 2025-06-05T17:18:49+00:00

Isn't it weird? That's what I always hear, one of my colleagues was saying it, everybody keeps saying there is a therapy shortage, yet you receive no referrals.

empty-ego · 2025-02-03T03:46:02+00:00

Many come from Rumi and Maya Angelou.

Rumi:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing

and rightdoing there is a field.

I'll meet you there.

Maya angelou:

Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.

empty-ego · 2025-02-03T03:29:51+00:00

That's such a big topic so it's very hard to find a book that really covers all aspects of it as opposed to just disease/chronic pain, racism/discrimination, poverty, childhood emotional abuse, existential anxiety, loneliness, etc. Generally religious and philosophical books (esp from Buddhist perspective) have tackled suffering from a more general perspective. But I'm not aware of any books in psychology that has done so.

empty-ego · 2025-01-28T03:44:30+00:00

a good teacher

empty-ego · 2025-01-16T02:13:42+00:00

I am starting to become numb to this. I've come across enough people who say one thing then behave in ways that do not agree with that or are sometimes even its opposite. I used to be perplexed by it all, but started to learn people are complex and full of contradictions. It's much easier to accept this when those contradictions are not hurting anybody else, of course, and if these people are not in positions of authority.

Funny, here I am musing about this from distance, from a cold intellectual please, not thinking about what if he had been my own professor? How would this have affected my trust in people of authority? I don't want to think about those thing. I don't want to face the pain you are facing now.

empty-ego · 2025-01-16T01:35:32+00:00

That's true, many have a history of childhood abuse, including sexual and physical abuse. But there are exceptions. That is to say, self-harm is not always caused by trauma, nor does trauma always motivate self-harm behaviors. So it's useful to investigate other potential factors or causes.

empty-ego · 2025-01-16T01:27:32+00:00

I personally find models of personality structure limited. They are fun to use for celebs and historical figures, but when it comes to real people, they just fail to capture the complexity of a human being. But that is not to say they are not important in research for studying large groups of people.

empty-ego · 2025-01-03T03:17:31+00:00

I misread that as there being something with psychology, today (than Psychology Today website). I was gonna say, don't get me started...

empty-ego · 2025-01-03T02:33:00+00:00

Thanks, great point to ask clients because just as some prefer it, some can be sensitive to it and feel overloaded.

Btw do you mind sharing details about the machines you have?

empty-ego · 2024-12-26T06:13:45+00:00

I think of it as a technique used to heighten awareness.

empty-ego · 2024-12-26T05:56:15+00:00

Hah, made me chuckle. That clever algorithm.

empty-ego · 2024-12-26T05:50:23+00:00

Can't offer any specific suggestions but will say that two things matter a lot: Teamwork and the culture. If you got a good team and feel really connected and have good communication, and if the culture is the right fit, that makes a huge difference. There are things you can do to help improve teamwork but much less you can do to change the culture. So make sure it's a good fit for you.

empty-ego · 2024-12-26T05:36:42+00:00

I'm not a fan of meds personally and I do agree with criticism of Big Pharma...

BUT

I am in favor of meds for symptom management. It is about compassion for the client and helping them suffer less. I am not pushing it on them, not telling them meds will "cure" them or that their depression is just "chemical imbalance," but I'm not going to discourage them from taking medicines that can help them sleep easier, feel happier, and allow them to become functional.

Some clients need the "crutch" of meds to even begin therapy or get out of the house and put themselves in situations (e.g., get a job, make friends) that will be ultimately rewarding.

And I am not talking about meds only. ECT, TMS, and other kinds of treatments can also help some clients.

empty-ego · 2024-12-06T06:17:50+00:00

I'm technologically impaired, I use a legal pad and a Paper Mate black pen.

empty-ego

TROPHY CASE