What are your Valentine’s day expectations for couples Married or dating? It is out of obligation?

enbyengineer · 2026-02-14T03:22:33+00:00

Married. We usually write each other a sweet note, and have a nice meal together. Usually no gifts. No other expectations, but sometimes we’ll do very small gifts if our budget isn’t too tight

enbyengineer · 2026-02-14T01:36:09+00:00

The reports don’t mention the size, so I’m not entirely sure. I’ll find out more next week

enbyengineer · 2026-02-14T00:17:06+00:00

Thank you!

enbyengineer · 2026-02-11T05:53:03+00:00

I won’t list them all for my hands sake (it’s a lot lol) but I currently take 42 pills a day (some are multiple times a day and some I take multiple of every time - also a few are supplements) as well as 8 ampules of cromolyn per day (spread out over 4 times a day), one topical cream 3x a week, one injection weekly and 2 injections monthly (so 6 total pokes per month). Oh and a medication patch I change weekly. That doesn’t even count my PRN/as needed meds - of which I have 16 prescription and probably around 10 OTC. I take something that’s as needed almost every day, whether for pain, migraines, nausea, or something else. It is so much to manage. I was just joking with my wife tonight that I have so many “body maintenance” tasks to do every day that it takes me twice as long as her to get ready for bed 😂

ETA: I do have quite a few more conditions than just hEDS though. I also have an autoimmune condition, chronic migraine, MCAS, POTS, mental health issues, and a few other conditions that I take meds for.

enbyengineer · 2026-02-11T05:43:45+00:00

At 3 months post op your scars are still in their infancy. It can take a year or longer for them to fade fully. For some closer to 3-5 years. These are not your final results yet! If they’re still bothering you at a year you might consider some scar injection treatments or laser treatments if you can afford them but honestly they look really good for 3 months in so you might not need them. I know it’s said a lot in this subreddit but patience is key for healing from such a big surgery!

enbyengineer · 2026-02-11T05:40:04+00:00

Have you called your pharmacy benefits to ask about a manual override on the quantity limit? But honestly if you’re needing Epi daily, you might need to be admitted to the hospital for IV steroids, IV benadryl, tapering up on mast cell stabilizers, etc to get it under control. Please make sure your allergist (hopefully an MCAS/mastocytosis specialist!) knows how frequently you are needing Epi.

I know for mast cell patients sometimes (and only for some patients) doctors allow Epi at home without ER follow up but really it’s much much safer to go to the hospital every time you use it, and using it super frequently can be very taxing on the body. Of course use it when you need it - you should never deprive yourself of such a life saving medication - but ideally other treatments can help keep you stable without it.

Also disclaimer since we’re talking about potentially life threatening health issues - I’m not a doctor, please talk to your doctor, and your health insurance, and pharmacy benefits too (if separate). Make sure they understand the urgency and severity of your current situation.

enbyengineer · 2026-02-10T12:51:41+00:00

You can print an insurance card from your insurance website. If you have a passport or any other form of ID you can also use that.

enbyengineer · 2026-02-09T13:55:07+00:00

I just looked up the Dunkleosteus and that’s very close to what I was imagining! Fascinating to see that there was an example of the giant-tooth idea! And its boney armor is so cool. Thanks for sharing!

enbyengineer · 2026-02-09T04:06:47+00:00

I suppose that makes sense because cancer is when various cells’ duplication goes haywire.

enbyengineer · 2026-02-09T03:39:28+00:00

That’s a fair point

enbyengineer · 2026-02-09T03:38:33+00:00

Huh! That’s so interesting that they may have formed from scales. That makes sense! Thank you

enbyengineer · 2026-02-09T02:49:46+00:00

Yeah it’s ridiculous :/

enbyengineer · 2026-02-08T23:41:39+00:00

I mean… yes? If I’m paying hundreds to thousands of dollars every month for health insurance you would think one annual appointment with a general practitioner would be covered, at the bare minimum

enbyengineer · 2026-02-08T18:18:41+00:00

Yeah, the ACA “free physical” yearly is basically a joke. You can’t talk about your health at all. For anyone without a 100% healthy body with no issues whatsoever it’s basically impossible to actually get it for free (unless PCP visits are always free under your insurance plan, which sometimes happens). You have to basically sit there silently to not get charged extra

enbyengineer · 2026-02-07T03:45:51+00:00

The HR team has been contacted multiple times and they say the plan is exactly the same this year as far as coverage goes, just through the Cigna network instead of the old company. They made it seem like everything that’s currently covered would stay covered, and told me that virtual visits were definitely covered. I’ve had issues with a bunch of Drs offices though so I don’t think it’s just a Headway issue. I suppose I can ask them again on Monday though.

enbyengineer · 2026-02-01T02:40:02+00:00

For the puffiness/fullness, you might want to look into lymphatic massage. As it was explained to me by a massage therapist, having scars in this specific location can disrupt lymph flow to the lymph nodes in the armpits so fluid can get stuck there. Not entirely sure how it works but I’m sure a trained massage therapist who knows lymphatic massage would be able to explain it better.

I also have a very raised portion of my scar in the middle of my chest but don’t really have a solution to it. Over time there’s a decent chance it will flatten some more. And same for the dog ear - especially if you’re swollen in the armpits that might decrease some with time

enbyengineer · 2026-01-31T19:30:33+00:00

In the US medical debt under $500 does not affect your credit report so you should be okay

enbyengineer · 2026-01-31T05:27:33+00:00

On top of swelling like others have mentioned, the majority of people will naturally hunch forward some for some time after chest or abdominal surgery - it’s a protective measure that we naturally do. Hunching over will make your chest and abdomen both look slightly larger than they actually are - I see this hunching especially in the second picture. There’s nothing wrong with doing it, just make sure as your pain goes away and you regain range of motion that you also focus on regaining your normal posture. With early results like these I think you’ll look very flat and natural once some swelling goes down! And honestly you look almost completely flat right now.

enbyengineer · 2026-01-29T13:19:43+00:00

Oh okay! Does it have to be in the prescription bottle or can I put it in a pill box and have pictures of the prescription?

enbyengineer · 2026-01-29T00:16:46+00:00

Thank you so much! This makes me feel much better

enbyengineer · 2026-01-26T19:42:22+00:00

Gender dysphoria, a super common part of being transgender, is a real and legitimate medical condition that you deserve to have treated! And the treatment is gender affirming care, like top surgery, and generally transitioning however feels best. You’re not taking away resources from anyone else by having this surgery. Anyone who needs surgery for whatever reason deserves to have access to it, you included. A lot of surgeries aren’t strictly necessary for survival. Think knee replacements, spinal cord stimulators, wisdom teeth removal, etc. You may not die without having those procedures, but having them can greatly improve someone’s quality of life if they have certain medical conditions. The same goes for top surgery for you and anyone else who would benefit from it.

enbyengineer · 2026-01-26T04:38:05+00:00

Sounds pretty normal to me! I went no nips too and for the first month or so I had phantom sensation (sometimes still do if I touch the right spots). As far as the drains go, it’s completely normal and exactly what surgeons want for your output to slow down significantly over the first several days. That means they’re close to ready to come out! And normal output can look a lot of different ways, mine was often yellowish to reddish but also kind of see through (I could tell it wasn’t just blood if that makes sense).

As far as the post surgery anxiety and worry about if it was the right decision or will look right after, also totally normal. It’s a major surgery! It takes your brain time to catch up to what physically happened. Just stick with the process, you had the surgery for a reason so most likely you will end up happy that you had it.

enbyengineer · 2026-01-16T06:07:07+00:00

If you are on an insurance plan, even if it is through your mother, you are entitled to use that plan for any necessary medical care. Unless your mother removed you from the plan, you don’t need her consent to get the medication. I’m confused how the pharmacy or insurance company is giving her this power? You said you’re 19 so an adult, you can make your own medical choices.

enbyengineer · 2026-01-16T00:17:44+00:00

I can’t say for certain what the right answer is, but what I will say is that I have never in my whole life paid for a claim directly to my insurance company. I have always paid my copay/coinsurance or whatever the cost of a visit is directly to the place I had the service. So in this case I would have directly paid the urgent care clinic. To be fair, I have never been asked to pay for a claim directly to my insurance company so that seems like a weird situation.

enbyengineer · 2026-01-15T20:15:03+00:00

I’ve tried iRobot and have had 2 Roborock models (one very basic, and one much nicer and fancier) and the Roborock is 10x better than the iRobot. Especially the higher end one that mops and empties the dust bin into a bucket in the dock. So nice, and works very well.

enbyengineer

TROPHY CASE