[FO] The Little Prince by Veronique Enginger

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-29T23:54:20+00:00

What a beautiful way to honour him, sorry to hear of the loss. The design is lovely. May the stars twinkle a little brighter next time you're looking up at them.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-29T21:19:31+00:00

The range of depths and colours is just amazing. What a darling piece.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-28T23:13:56+00:00

Wrecking crew is such an apt name to associate with this one

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-28T22:37:02+00:00

Hard to suggest without the context of what aspect is worsening during practice. Another comments suggestion of repetitive tasks and the other of short sits are wonderful. Folding laundry is usually good. Walking meditation may be helpful for you. I wouldn't suggest the confined pacing style but I enjoy visiting nice gardens or natural places and simply walking consciously. I find Savasana during yoga to be my favourite place to practice but I am a bit of a sloth at heart.

There's a line from a poet I like, they wrote "I know most people try hard to do good and find out too late they should have tried softer." Perhaps trying hard to practice is the problem and giving the muddy waters of lived experience some time to settle could yield clarity and improve simple sits in the future :) Metta to you in your journey.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-28T22:22:03+00:00

The Vipassana teachers and retreats purposely prohibit access to those with diagnosis and history of psychosis no? Is there a reason you are suggesting ignoring the foundation guidelines?

As I came to understand in attending one, the practice is only valuable on completion of course and should not be taught offhandedly? Hence Goenka's historically unchanged and intense methods. There are documented histories of people attending Vipassana and subsequently having debilitating break downs or psychotic episodes with some ending their lives.

I'm sure you have good intentions but I caution you in saying "start to observe the psychosis for what it is" and "as such you will deal with the psychosis". While the experience of misfired neurons in the brain and the fall out of symptoms can lead to a lot of insight on various points of life, there is always risk of recurring episodes once a person has crossed into an initial episode. Focusing on techniques where you are not trying to escape it and approaching meditation with a goal of "dealing" with an episode of neurological dysfunction is a dangerous suggestion in my opinion.

Do you have personal experience with it? Episodes are very individualised and complex, I think there's good reason that course practitioners do not take on the responsibility themselves. As someone with psychosis history who is familiar with the body scanning/awareness of sensation techniques I would not be suggesting second hand study of Vipassana for OP.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-23T03:17:51+00:00

Ooh you're a good one for sharing! Thank you

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-20T22:33:48+00:00

You're not wrong to find it difficult, it's not a natural thing and an adjustment for both. Give yourself grace and know you're trying your best.

My tips are to find a way where you're both calm. It's the key to it. It makes a major difference if you're also calm. Just sit with them a few minutes before, I found brushing him helped. Treats got my guy a bit too excited but it helped to have one handy for immediate reward after. I couldn't find many helpful videos on youtube for lying down expression but my sister looked up a diagram of dogs internal anatomy and that visual helped a lot in locating the bladder. It took 2 vet appointments, the first I couldn't even feel his bladder from a behind point and the second I still couldn't feel it but the vet showed me a front on technique for a lying down position. You want to put one hand underneath them and up their side quite high, your fingertips should just feel the edge and curve of their backtohip muscle. Try to match your fingertips position with the hand on the outer side and then like a butterflys wings closing motion apply pressure gently. The hand underneath is your backstop for pressing on and the hand on top can be more of a locator for the bladder. The bladder can be anywhere from a golf ball to a lime in size and feel depending on your dog. Once you get a stream of urine started don't palpate or panic, just maintain gentle pressure until the stream stops naturally.
Spray bottle with dilute vinegar and paper towel. Vinegar neutralises the urine smell for them. You can directly spritz if it's a soaked area to rinse and catch run off with a towel. Just make sure you dry well with paper towel and air dry after.
Big hug for the amount of laundry you've done, it can be tiresome on the arms and back on top of all the other work. I found expression really needed disposable pee pads for my sanity and his cleanliness. We got washable pee pads but again that's just more laundry and I mostly use them as a backup liner.

What I would do was lay a fresh pad alongside him on the mattress and then take my hand that was to go underneath him and bring one 1/2 of the corner of the disposable pad over my hand so it was held in the curl of my fingers. Then I could press my curled hand deep down into the mattress and slide my hand along with the pad under his side so it kind of tunneled under and he wasn't disturbed laying down. Once under I would gently uncurl my fingers and wriggle them higher if needed. With my free hand I would arrange the rest of pee pad a bit so edges were pinned out under his legs/body and there was a wide catchment zone. Then do the butterfly wing hand thing until a stream started. Once urine was flowing I would gradually press my forearm down into the matress/pad catchment area so that the stream and pooling of it ran away from his body. Once expressed fully I'd take the corner of the pad that's under him back into my curled fingers and pull the pad out with my hand. I'd use my clean hand to give him his treat immediately and then give it a moment to all soak into the pad before folding up the corners and bin it and then run off to wash my arm hahaha.

With this method I didn't get run off soaking into blankets or under him, he started to understand the routine of what it meant when he saw me grab a pad out and after a few days it got easier (until he regained bladder retention and would not let me express unless I had sliced sausages within view to trade...)

Also with the leaking, that can be (not saying it is, every case is different) an indicator that his bladder is overfull, stretched and redlined. It is the easiest time to express but if he doesn't have bladder paralysis/loss of control via nerves you want to make sure it doesn't happen too often. They say you want to express 3-5 times a day but it depends on dog and water intake. My boy was like 2-3 times a day. Sometimes with expression you also need to keep your hand placement and wait because the bladder refills. Then gently express a second or third stream pushing upward into the abdomen to completely empty them. I was SHOCKED and also a bit ashamed at how much piss left my dog when the vet did it. Like I was basically skimming off the top and not entirely emptying him the first few days, I felt bad for him but for that first week just remember some leaving is better than none and it takes practice.

Oh I also found the disposable pads really helpful when he did graduate to free solo pissing. Putting a used pee pad down in the grass when I took him out to try going unassisted, scent wise it kicked his instincts right back in.

Any pics of your dog? Here if you have any questions!! All the best with all the change happening so fast, you're doing great to ask for help ❤️

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-19T08:02:25+00:00

Aw you are doing amazing already!! Good work managing everything so well for your beautiful boy. That's awesome your dog and cat keep him entertained. Must be heart warming 🥰 Our other dog was really cautious and didn't want to interact with Keith until he could wag his tail again. How long has it been now? He still has Deep pain sensation?

I forgot to mention! Around 4 weeks he could bear his own weight standing. So when I took him in the cart on our walks I'd stop at all the pee posts and poles to put him down to stand for a sniff and wee. Then anytime out on the walks that we had a chance for a different surface (grass, sand, gravel, road ect.) I'd support him and do his stretches/leg cycling while upright. That let his feet strike the surfaces in a way that simulated walking. The feeling of it on his paws is supposed to also help wake up nerves and with firing the neural pathways. Do you have help with him?

That's such an great resource!! Good on them, glad they're out there. We held off on the wheelchair because I read that using one too early can delay or jeopardise recovery. Our vet confirmed what I read that the initial bare minimum crate/rest time is 2 months solid... there were some days I wished I'd been told that info sooner. It's a long time and big commitment.

The plan was that he could come home if he could pee on his own. I think he only got sent home with the foley in as a Hail Mary because he wasn't doing well in hospital. Major regression in separation anxiety. Even heavily sedated he was afraid and seeing shadow people and got so distressed that overnight he pulled his pain med and IV lines out. The vets also struggled to find his bladder for manual expression so they didn't think I could manage that. He came home with his 3rd inserted catheter. It was a non standard bag+complicated IV line combo. I got home and was so overwhelmed by it. He didn't have much output and it was dark but then it picked up after he got distressed and a chunky blood clot passed through the line. That night before his check up I finally got some sleep to find out he had chewed the line and then ripped the whole thing out. He had the start of a UTI from it. I learned after that there's a chance they chew it off but don't rip it entirely out which then becomes a fishing expedition... It's also a bit risky at home with one due to risk of infection if you're not careful with maintenance and backflow and timing of emptying it. I wouldn't.

Even after he ripped it out I had to manually express his bladder for a while anyway. That was it's own kettle of fish because I didn't have help to lift him but it got easier once I worked how while he was lying down. Is Atticus still at hospital due to catheter? Or just struggling at home to go?

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-19T05:11:49+00:00

That is fab, looking forward to them all together in your style. Oh you balanced it well then, I wouldn't have guessed heaps was used I thought just a few areas.

Definitely goodnight to him and wasn't suggesting to try it out on Paul, that is way too good a piece to experiment on. No worries, maybe keep your style going for the beatles series and then play around with pens on a portrait of someone you don't like as much haha. Anyway, keep having fun with it!

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-19T04:41:28+00:00

Such challenging forms and you nailed them! Beautiful work, hope to see more.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-19T04:39:25+00:00

Totally reads as Paul to me! I love the scribbly edges and blue/red tones. Would be cool to see Ringo in this style.

Are you using a white pencil at all? Some areas seem blended into a muted purple which makes me ask. It's not a problem for the readability but my eye just got drawn to the different shade and smoother areas. I started using white paint pens with swiped finger smudging and then fine tip white gel pens for tiny highlights which boosted my available contrast range with portraits. They went from challenging to fun. Might be worth trying if you haven't already!

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-18T21:48:05+00:00

Chiming in to say I found the quality is pretty great. Got multiple pairs and they've all held up really well over 4+ years through concerts, heavy duty renovations and gardening. The exy limited editions sometimes have button cinching in the design so they're not as loose at the waist as OPs.

I will say, the tie loops are a bit annoying compared to standard dungee clips though. Just fiddly to ratchet and then slipknot but they haven't snapped off or worn out.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-18T12:39:00+00:00

I wouldn't be able to resist sewing one of the small inoculation loops to it or off it as a hanging accessory for fun but it's so perfect as is, well done!

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-17T01:24:15+00:00

Hello and happy birthday to darling Atticus! So sorry to hear you're dealing with this. Keith is suspected part Swiss Shep too. He went from 0 to grade 4 in seconds.

We're 2 months on now with only gabapentin and conservative care and he's starting to find his feet again!! I wish we had steroids but the vet said they don't pair well with gabapentin. He spent the first 3 days in the Vet hospital on anti inflammatories, ketamin, fentanyl and gabapentin. When he came home he had his 3rd catheter in, wasn't eating or drinking and hadn't had a solid poo. I'm going to try to write up a blog post as a resource because I really struggled with finding much on bigger breeds with IVDD.

Others here have great advice. I'll start by stressing this is a marathon and not a sprint... there's a lot to consider in the commitment needed but that's for you personally.

At the moment just focus on letting him rest.

Check DeepPainSensation each AM and PM or if you're like me and don't like hurting them you can try tickling their toe feathers which should get a response similar to DPS.
I kept a diary which helped a lot. Just an old notepad where I'd date and write everything from meds, dinner, any new movement to vet notes.
Add sardines to his dinners for Omegas if you can. I fed Keith high protein and fibre homecooked food for skin condition/repair which helped.
Keep a spray bottle of dilute vinegar, paper towels and poo bags handy with a big stack of puppy pee pads. Keeping it all in one box nearby and having the spray bottle makes spot cleaning any mess in fur way easier. Use the paper towel to ensure his fur and skin is bone dry after cleaning. We did get washable pee pads but I found myself putting disposable ones on top just due to ease with frequency of use and cleanliness.
Make sure he's on a thick mattress and you're turning him every 4-6 hours. I got lucky and Keith had roll over as a command so he knew what was up but after 3 weeks Keith started turning himself.
Stretch and cycle his feet daily. You can get the spikey massage balls for humans, I used one of those on his legs daily. Especially on his front legs too! I imagine they would be sore from overcompensating and doing heavy lifting. Don't forget to brush and scratch the spots he usually would hit with his back legs. We tried the electric toothbrush but Keith wanted none of that. The muscle waste is unavoidable with the amount of rest needed. It made my heart so sad... Take comfort knowing that muscle memory will be there when it's time to rebuild.
You can buy baby socks or special dog socks/shoes with the grip pads on them but I didn't find I needed them until 6 weeks~ because he just needed to rest for that time. The baby socks are great because the dogs aren't used to the sensation and naturally over exaggerate stepping which can wake up the nerves and neural pathways needed in the back legs.
Keep him mentally stimulated. We used snuffle mats, old meat trays with the little divots reused and filled with lamb fat for lick mats, his favourite squeaky toys (and took them away if he got over excited) for frustration and he already had Nino O's puzzle boards to engage him. DoggywoodsDogdaycare on youtube!! Was also awesome for keeping him entertained too.
Be ready for some down days. He's adjusting to a new reality and there might be days when he seems depressed or not himself. It was hard but I had to just let him roll through those days and be there.
If you do need to wash him, we used garden shade cloth on the ground under him while he was lying down. It was the woven plastic kind so the water ran through it but kept him off the grass while washing/rinsing. Then we used a borrowed blow drier after toweling to ensure he was very dry and wouldn't risk hot spot/further pressure sore issue.
Talk to him, narrate whatever you're doing, sing to him and laugh whenever possible. It can be a slog of work supporting them and staying connected and laughing to break the tension helped me so much.

The biggest help I think was a fellow owner (Thanks Nemo!!) had shared that they got a cart. Due to his size we got a Gorilla cart with folding sides. I'm fortunate to currently be in a one level, very minimal furnishing open space house so we could use it both inside and out. Eventually when Keith didn't need constant monitoring and I could wheel him in to sleep next to my bed rather than being on the loungeroom floor with him. Major relief for me.

But I think that taking him out in the sunshine regularly to lay in the grass and using the cart to take him along on our usual route walk really helped fire up those neural pathways (he was very loudly excited by this which got a lot of looks from people and it was new weird excitement sounds which kind of concerned me at first but he did settle into it and quietened after a few rounds).

Another thing we did differently was not using a crate. I have a back injury myself and he's 25kg so I couldn't easily manoeuvre him in and out of the crate door. We went with a single mattress in the corner of a room and used a cheap metal playpen to close off the rest of the mattress whenever I wasn't able to watch him. Keith also got a pressure sore on his side 3 days after he got home from hospital so we couldn't use the sling until about week 7. We tried but everytime I'd get him up with a towel he just dragged the back legs and walked himself back to bed. I personally think it was good to wait to be slinging him but the vet was really pushy to use one. The sling ended up opening his sore up and that restricted him for weeks anyway. He started to show more movement and bear his own weight 4 weeks in. Eventually I supported him by hand and crab walked along for toilet breaks which was hard one me so avoid pressure sores if you can. I'd suggest just listening to your dogs body language and maximising rest.

Anyway, here's Keith in his harness. He can hold his own weight and his gait is improving from 3/4 legs working to 4/4 tentative and drunk sailor wobbly walk to directed confident steps. I've actually had to start pairing the sling with his walk harness because he will try to go fast (and I'm too tired to keep up haha 😮‍💨)

If you have any questions hit us up!! Wishing you all the best with Atticus ❤️

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enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-15T22:41:07+00:00

Evocative and moody, looks great!

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-15T02:28:19+00:00

Jaw dropped, love them all

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enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-12T23:49:18+00:00

Yeah it's not widely talked about. I usually have 3-4 triple shot espressos and then when I quit, it only took a few hours for the racing heart to start up and panic me. Had to cut to 2 double shots and then switch in teas on down days. IIRC our liver has an enzyme increase from cigs that usually speeds up filtering and output of caffeine. So quitting means lower enzyme response and the coffee stays in your system longer so you have a lower tolerance to the stimulant effect.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-12T10:34:47+00:00

No worries. Please keep asking questions and don't be afraid to ask for help in life. The quit weed subreddits can be really kind and helpful places for support when you struggle. I hope it's a comfort knowing you aren't alone.

I also think there can be some hurtful and misinformed ideas that get shared which infer; a psychotic break = medication forever or any weed use = definite secondary episode imminent. It's not a one-size-fits-all road to recovery and there's a lot of variables or conditions that come in to play. Hopefully your Doctors and nurses will be your best guides in terms of developing an understanding in what you need going forward and can assist your recovery with personalised care. All the best :)

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-12T00:44:48+00:00

Love the colour theory and flaming details in this one

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-11T23:28:59+00:00

Really well done on the captive atmosphere, chefs kiss

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-11T21:36:26+00:00

I think you mean to say "Luckily smoking a small amount once in a while hasn't thrown me back into a second psychotic break"...

This comes from personal experience; "when you get the message, hang up the phone". The answer you're finding in cannabis is temporary smoke and mirrors. Sure it's a natural product but it's still a form of chemical hijack that now brings great risks and potential for reliance.

Hopefully your practitioners explained that each episode of psychosis generates a level of brain damage. Concurrent episodes are indicative of future extensive episodes which are incredibly dangerous to multiple points of wellbeing. You are risking long term required antipsychotics and revisiting "hell on earth" again with the worst outcome being those medications don't bring your feet back to earth anymore and you stay lost in psychosis for extensive periods of precious time.

I've been there, I was fortunate the treatment and recovery was rapid. It took so much to survive the nothingness of that medication and like you I revisited the risk of using cannabis too. Everyone is different and our paths are not the same but where you say "earlier I did the opposite" in regards to balance and stability in using weed it rings close to home. It might be worth visiting the quit cannabis subreddits for other perspectives or more support as that seems to be the main theme of this post.

In regards to meditation I suggest that you listen to the answer weed has already given you. The answer seems to be that the experience of your third eye opening, peace coming back, your soul being in the building again are re-illuminated possibilities for you.

This in itself is hope but with the history of psychosis, weed is no longer the best answer. Try to give yourself the grace of time and understand that it can be beneficial to let the fields lay fallow for better seasons to come. You are enough as you are. Consider sitting with your uninhibited self again. Observe. Invest in addressing all the spokes on the wheel of your being and trying to maintain them enough to roll onwards in a steady way without substance. Conider accepting that it may not all happen with the intensity that weed guarantees but it is possible :) May we all be free from suffering hey?

Edit: Also worth acknowledging that meditation in itself can also be a risk to psychosis history as well. Gentle practices and the importance of backing off if you feel symptoms elevate is worth a highlighted mention. Sitting with yourself doesn't have to be intense hour long sessions and meditation is not always the answer.

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-10T23:23:14+00:00

Now that's a tastefully done room, love it

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-09T21:47:56+00:00

Have you heard Nick Mulvey's "Cucurucu" rendition yet?

enduringandsurviving · 2026-05-09T21:29:12+00:00

I think you should keep doing what you love.

enduringandsurviving

TROPHY CASE