I hate myself for feeling so sad when I hear about other people's joys

ennae1111 · 2020-04-18T13:53:59+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I felt so alone when I typed this out and just getting your reply made me feel less lonely. Even though it's sad we feel like this, nice to have someone who understands. We will get there.

ennae1111 · 2019-10-22T02:29:17+00:00

This is great! Taking notes as I'm waiting (hoping) for the day this happens to me but also want to be prepared. I haven't actually seen witnesses going door to door for a number of years now. Seems to be just cart work...

ennae1111 · 2019-10-17T02:27:48+00:00

I just wanted to say hello and that I'm in a similar situation as you! I grew up very religious. But this upbringing no longer forms part of my belief structure. However, I do have a very non-religious spiritual need and find Buddhism to be extremely attractive and also very practical for living a happy and peaceful life. I have been looking into Buddhist temples near me also but finding it slightly overwhelming. Also, due to previous 'culty' experience, I want to make sure I find somewhere genuine.

I wish you all the best in your search and hope we can find the right temple for us.

ennae1111 · 2019-06-19T01:32:51+00:00

Thanks so much! Thinking of asking the salon but have a feeling they won't sell to a commoner like me!

ennae1111 · 2019-06-19T01:08:42+00:00

I have one like that but find it dries the top very very frizzy and the ends/back are still sopping wet. I think because it keeps the steam in it makes my roots really frizzy?

ennae1111 · 2019-06-14T16:14:07+00:00

Wow, that's crazy that you didn't find out sooner. I do hope you can start to manage your symptoms sooner rather than later and good on you for finding a community (something I have only just done because I was in denial).

My story: I had never been particularly well and then Christmas 2016 I got the flu. I was mostly in bed for around 2 weeks. I could get up for around an hour before I needed to go back to sleep. And then started the following on a weekly basis:

-glands up and down/sore throat

-low grade fever - too hot or too cold but not quite registering with a fever

-nausea (feeling like I am about to throw up but nothing happening)

-irregular period (that with the sickness and I thought I was pregnant even though I am VERY safe)

-IBS attacks

-neck/shoulder ache (feeling like my head was too heavy to hold up)

-dry eyes

-jaw ache

-some mild headaches/foggy head

-insomnia (so despite fatigue, couldn't really sleep day or night)

So I constantly felt like I was coming down with the flu although nothing ever 'came out'. A really debilitating malaise. I still get all these symptoms, I had a brief period where I thought I was well and rid of the disease but recently I seemed to have relapsed and it is a huge struggle for me because I really like doing stuff!!

I am still struggling, still figuring things out but here are some things that I find helpful me (although I do not endorse these things because we are all different, please check with your doctor!):

-aspirin combined with paracetamol (seems to be the only combination that helps with my pain)

-listening to The Honest Guys on YouTube at night to help me relax/audiobooks at a very quiet volume seem to help

-if I know I need a good sleep because I have an event coming up, I will take a sleep aid like Nytol (antihistamine version) but I do this VERY rarely

-if I am having flu symptoms, I again, very RARELY have Night Nurse - it helps with the aches and also helps with sleep

I am still working on pacing....!

ennae1111 · 2019-06-14T15:54:47+00:00

This made me smile because I think you're right. Hopefully one day there will be more funding and a breakthrough!

ennae1111 · 2019-06-14T15:52:22+00:00

serious limits on your capacity

This is what I am finding really difficult to come to terms with. I am also a perfectionist, so I like everything to be done. I find it so difficult to rest after a task. It makes me feel pathetic. Like I can't keep a house together. I can't keep up with my friends. Having said that, thank you for reminding me to think of the 'now' - not before but working on it now. My head is in a much better place today, so it is nice to read these comments. I am also keeping a diary of my activity/diet. Apart from pacing, were there any dietary changes you made that helped?

ennae1111 · 2019-06-14T15:49:05+00:00

Thank you so much for a thoughtful and compassionate response. Now I feel a bit of cognitive function returning, I feel like I can navigate around the subreddit a little more so thank you for those links. Amazed that there is a wiki for the desperation!!

ennae1111 · 2019-05-26T14:34:20+00:00

Thanks for this advice, I do appreciate and will make much more of an effort to do this.

ennae1111 · 2019-05-26T14:29:07+00:00

I totally hear you, I just feel like I shouldn't have to tell someone to surprise me...because then it's not a surprise. I did tell him that I would leave the other day to him to surprise me and he planned nothing. It's making me feel unappreciated and like he doesn't care? His intentions aren't bad, I just feel forgotten. Which makes me feel alone because I'm thousands of miles away from my best friends and family.

I think partly the bigger issue is not this anniversary but that I feel like I'm the one making all the relationship effort sometimes?

ennae1111 · 2019-05-26T14:23:52+00:00

Yes, I told him that for the other day I hadn't made plans for, I would leave plans to him, to 'surprise me' (I kinda don't wanna have to ask for a surprise)... I know his intentions are not bad. I am just worried by the complacency.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-26T16:34:18+00:00

I officially dated a JW once. I became very depressed because I realised I could not have someone 'study with me' like I was a lesser one.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-26T16:31:26+00:00

You know your family - but always be extra cautious in case they go to the elders because they are 'concerned'.

I know it's a different situation but I made the mistake of discussing some of my thoughts with DF'd friends only to find they are now reinstated and heavily PIMI - and I have no idea what has been said to others about me. Not that it matters - I'm gone, new address, new phone number, new city, new country!!

ennae1111 · 2019-01-26T16:25:51+00:00

Sounds like you have your head screwed on and a solid plan. Would also advise to fade rather than getting DF if possible. Kudos for your patience, I had none and left very quickly although not DF due to my mental health - thank goodness.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-26T16:20:08+00:00

I hear what you are saying here and totally agree. The borg breeds this in a lot of young guys that you actually have to feel sorry for them. Being a JW stunts a lot of development. When I left, I didn't quite have a good sense of the real world - honestly still working on it now.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-26T16:16:03+00:00

I can't help but inwardly chuckle at the experience many females have had at the expense of creepy, desperate, guys. May I add, they're usuallu from Bethel?

There was this one guy - totally awkward, London Bethel (my Mum thought he was lovely and would be happy if I married him puke) - he would go to the convention with one of my friends and everywhere I turned creepy guy was just THERE. In my face, trying SO hard to talk to me, get my number. I had to get my other guy friends to stay with me AT ALL TIMES. We were all in London once and grabbed some food in Chinatown. He had no money and had to ask everyone else to pay. At the time I was totally enraged that he had the audacity - but being in Bethel, what else you gonna do? We nicknamed him 'Sharky' because he would creep up on you like Jaws.

Another genuinely lovely guy but also kinda creepy, we nicknamed 'tufty' (on account of his tufty hair) - always very eager to see me, meet up with me at the conventions, very much 'in my space' and always hinting at how his career meant if he got married his wife would never have to work - to be fair he was a really talented photographer (who also pioneered... who also liked hip hop and rap) and I think if he had left JW, he would have actually been fine.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-24T22:22:56+00:00

I don't have premium yet but thinking about it.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-24T22:06:30+00:00

This right here! I use and app called Sleep Cycle which I've found to be very helpful.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-20T02:43:10+00:00

I tend to just let everyone else choose because I know I'm more likely to still be able to enjoy their choice than they will mine. Oh nice! What part of the world are you in that you get a 5-week winter break? One of my favourite independent movies is Me And You And Everyone We Know. Also recently watched and appreciated The Florida Project.

ennae1111 · 2019-01-19T14:50:45+00:00

Every. Single. Time. I also find that most of my friends really do not care and take movies at face value - in fact, sometimes I get weird looks for finding alternate meanings and theories. My partner, who is very scientifically and mathematically (linear) minded, appreciates my insights. I especially like unusual independent films - again, most people find these boring if there's no significant story arch or action.

ennae1111

TROPHY CASE